Batman quotes from Batman: The Animated Series

Catwoman

Batman! The antidote! I'll be stuck like this forever!

Would that be so bad? You could stay here, with me.

Catwoman

Oh, Tygrus... I can't live like this, I have to be human again.

Goodbye, Selina.

Catwoman

Wait - won't you come with us? There's nothing for you here.

There's nothing for me anywhere. [disappears into the falling rain]

Batman

[in voiceover] "Tyger Tyger burning bright, in the forests of the night: what immortal hand or eye, dare frame thy fearful symmetry?"

Batman

Reports of a huge bat creature the size of a man. Remind you of anybody?

Present company excluded?

Batman

You couldn't leave it alone, could you, March? You've recreated the mutagen.

[aiming a tranquilizer rifle at him] Recreated it? I've refined it! At night, on my own, so the others wouldn't know. I still believe only a creature like a Man-Bat can survive the next evolutionary cataclysm - and it will! My new serum could be even more powerful than Kirk's!

Batman

[after disarming March] "Could be"? What do you mean?

I needed to test it, but before I had the chance--

Batman

You mean you haven't taken it?

Of course not! The experimental batch was destroyed. I'll have to--

Batman

Destroyed? How?

I'd been working through the night. I was just completing the final combination. [remembers incident at his lab as he drops the beaker of mutagen upon Francine's surprise entry] Francine burst in. I was startled. You have to understand I was very tired, I accidentally dropped the beaker. The whole night's work, ruined! Francine never guessed what I was doing, she even helped me clean up the mess. All that... glass! [recalls Francine licking her finger after it is pricked by a small shard of glass] Oh... oh, my lord... Francine! The mutagen - it's in her bloodstream now! [breaks down at his folly as Batman loads a tranquilizer into a pistol of his and then gives March the formula paperwork]

Batman

Is that what it's going to take? Your daughter's life, before you end this insanity?

Penguin

Say, who's there? Two-Face? Croc? Joker, old shoe?

Batman

None of the above, Penguin.

Penguin

Oh no, not you...

Batman

Get used to it. Wherever you go, I'll be right behind you.

Penguin

Precisely where you belong. But you needn't bother. Haven't you heard? I've reformed. Paid my debt to society, and all that.

Batman

We'll see. I just came to tell you to keep your beak clean.

Batman

I knew you couldn't stay clean for more than one day.

Veronica

Let him go! He didn't do anything. It was those brutes!

Batman

He wasn't with them?

Penguin

That's right, you vulgar vigilante! In my day, I associated with a much higher class of riff-raff!

Veronica

I'm so sorry, Ozzie.

Penguin

As long as you weren't bruised, my peach. [kisses her hand]

Batman

"Peach"?

Penguin

Why don't you be a good masked man and ride off into the night? This time, I'll clean up after you.

Batman

"Where does a 500 pound gorilla sleep?" "What's worse than a millipede with flat feet?" "How do you stuff five elephants into a compact car?"

Anywhere it wants, a giraffe with a sore throat, and two in the front seat, two in the back, and one in the trunk.

Batman

Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. Any schoolboy knows those. But brain teasers are the Riddler's M.O. Not corny old jokes like these.

Perhaps the questions are the clues, not the answers. For example, they all seem to involve animals.

Batman

Also numbers. A 500 pound gorilla. A millipede, meaning a thousand legs. And five elephants. Now let's convert them to Roman numerals. [he does, revealing the letters DMV] Look.

DMV.

Department of Motor Vehicles.

But I recall you mentioning he'd already obliterated his records there, so why return?

Batman

For the hard copy.

Riddler

Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no tales.

Batman

Another riddle, Nygma?

Riddler

It all makes sense when you add it up.

Four quarters and a penny, sir?

Batman

Penny... Penny... Cent... Red cent... Copper. It's made of copper.

And "copper" is another word for a policeman.

Batman

And "no tails" would be heads. Police head... Quarters!

Police Headquarters. Bravo, sir. It does make "cents" when you add it up.

Riddler

Nice try, Batman, but in my world, you play by my rules.

Batman

You may control this world, Nygma, but I still control myself.

Riddler

The name is "Riddler". Edward Nygma doesn't exist anymore. You may recall that he was once fired by an ungrateful employer. That was a private matter and was meant to remain one.

Batman

Attempted homicide is never a "private matter", Nygma!

Riddler

No, but it would have been if you hadn't interfered and turned Edward Nygma into a fugitive! So I deleted Nygma! Just as I'm about to delete you, Batman!

Riddler

We can keep this up as long as you can! Any number you can think of, we can double!

Batman

Tell me, Riddler - how can you split your focus in thirty-two directions, and sustain the consciousness needed to keep your world together? You can't!

Riddler

No... NO!

Riddler

[still inside] I can escape that easily too! But then, if the planet were equitable, I'd still have my old job! [the screen flickers] No! No, not yet! NO! [screams]

Robin

Looked like he suffered some kind of attack, like a sensory overload or something...

But we'll never know for sure, cause we'll never find him.

Batman

Oh, no? Come on. I think he left us a clue... "If the planet were equitable, I'd still have my old job".

Robin

Of course. If the "World's Fair," I'd still have my "Ex-position". Oh, give me a break.

Batman

Looks like he didn't escape his virtual reality in time.

Robin

You mean he's been trapped inside his own program?

Batman

Could be. And how to get him out may be a riddle no one can solve.

Batman

A weary body can be dealt with. But a weary spirit? That's something else. Sometimes, old friend, I wonder if I'm really doing any good out there.

How can you doubt it? The lives you've saved, the criminals you've brought to justice--

Batman

I've put out a few fires, yes. Won a few battles. But the war goes on, Alfred. On and on...

You seem quieter than usual tonight.

Batman

Every year, I come here and wonder if it should be the last time. If I should put the past behind me, try to lead a normal life.

Santayana says, "Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it."

Batman

He also said a fanatic is someone who redoubles his efforts while losing sight of his goal.

Batman

[grabs Wizard] Up to your old tricks, I see. How about returning that suitcase to its owner?

Hey, man, I am the owner.

Y'know, I was kinda hoping I'd run into you. I'd been in those places like where you left me before. Heard the rap, wasn't impressed. But this time, it made sense. Maybe I was ready to hear it. So I'm heading back home. I guess I kinda owe it to you, Batman. You probably saved my life. I'll bet you hear this all the time. Look, I'm gonna miss my bus, I'll see you around. And... thanks.

My contact lenses! I lost them when we fell! They counter the distortion effect. Without them, I'm as helpless as you.

Batman

I don't do helpless.

[About Batman's mask] What happened that made you put this on?

Batman

A painful memory, and a promise.