Jenna, contrary to the advice I've been giving Ally; you need to know that every first time is the first time, and it should be special.
S2 E6What Comes First: Sex or Love?
S2 E7Another One Bites the Dust
Where can I get ready?
By the dumpster.
That's sweet, but I don't have time for a tour of your home.
[to Jenna] Jesus, your mom documented high school like it was the best time of her life.
And it was.
JTJenna and Tamara
Sad.
S2 E8Time After Time
[to Ally] I guess your plan to ruin my parents' relationship worked. Happy?
Listen, your Dad's the one who ruined their relationship and it started years ago.
What are you talking about?
Think about it. Why would I hate buzzkill this much for no reason? Because I'm the one who had to pick up the pieces when he screwed over your mom over and over again.
[to Ally] You're drunk.
And you're a dork, but at least I'll be sober tomorrow...for a while.
S2 E9Homewrecker Hamilton
[to Tamara] What? Why didn't you give me the heads up?
I don't know maybe I was busy buying lottery tickets 'cause I'm a freaking psychic.
You're a bitch.
[smiles] I know.
[to Becca] You know my locker combo?
BBecca
I also know your bra size, but I'm not gonna advertise it.
S2 E10Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me
The day I wrote it, my mother laid into me telling me that I wasn't raising you right and instead of tuning her out, I tuned her in. And I did what I never wanted to do: I attacked you the way she has always attacked me and it wasn't right or fair it was just a family pattern that I couldn't break.
[to Jenna] When we were young, I did and said a lot of awful things to her. Things she's forgiven but clearly hasn't forgotten. I wasn't always the best guy.
Well, let's be real. She hasn't always been the best either.
I know, but you've got to cut her some slack. Because what you don't know is that I wasn't always around as much as I should have been and when I was you didn't want me to hold you.
That's not true you were the only one who could put me to sleep.
...with your Mom's song. Singing that lullaby was the only way to get you to calm down. She wanted me to be your hero.
S2 E11Once Upon a Blog
Camp levels out the playing field. Imagine if you guys had hooked up or had sex in a closet or something? Boy, this year would be different.
We have two options: 1. You tattoo Jake's name on your arm where it's visible to the viewing public, then you beg him to stay together. He'll say yes because he's a sucker and then never get it removed.
S2 E12The Other Shoe
For once, the universe was working in my favor. Which was not cause for celebration. It was setting off alarms.
I walked in on my Mom making out with her friend Claire.
Your mom's gay?
No! She's a lesb-utante! She keeps it strictly above the belt, but it was a TS sitch, so my mom's letting me go on the trip to keep me from telling my Grandma. Little does she know, I'm totes equal opportunity!
I'm a bitch, but I'm not a heartless bitch.
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