Do I hear a bitch-pitch in your voice?
S4 E4Sophomore Sluts
S4 E5Overnight
O to the M to the F to the G. This place is a Pinterest board full of bangable dudes.
EEva
Sadie, I really admire how comfortable you are with your body. You're so brave.
I'm not brave. I have amazing tits unlike you and your sad floppers.
S4 E7After Hours
Eva, you neglected to tell us this place is on the corner of Hep C and Rape.
Playing matchmaker with an ex proves you've gone from "Point A" to "Point Cray."
I am so sorry, sweetie. I'm just going to be a bad parent and pretend I didn't see any of this.
S4 E8Prison Breaks
The only thing worse than getting dumped is a eat, pray, suck road trip with you two morons. Good luck with Crossroads 2!
SShane
Do you just blurt out every offensive thing you think?
No, it's actually carefully curated.
S4 E9My Personal Statement
Here's the deal, Eva. Things aren't great between Matty and I right now, but I know Matty McKibben and he would never fuck you in my bed, so I don't know what kind of game this is you're playing, but count me out. But, hey, nice try.
S4 E10Snow Job
Matty, can you get rid of the barnacle for a second so we can talk skiing.
Are you still afraid of the lift?
Are you still afraid of me ripping your balls off? Because you should be.
S4 E12Finals
Who's auditioning for Teen Mom 3?
I have no idea.
Is it you? Luke sperminated and terminated you? I will just defer college and we'll raise this baby together in a non-sexual life partnership. No offense, you're not really my type. Now, what are we thinking for the nursery?
He said I was a good person.
That son of a bitch.
S4 E14Welcome to Hell
I still hadn’t told Tamara about my own bananagans. Knowing that I took Owen’s v-card had really thrown me for a loop. I was not ready for a serious relationship with a sophomore.
That pathetic putz Pete obviously assly assessed my assets.
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