For 15 years, I fantasized about everyone noticing me as I walked down the hall. What would I be wearing? Would every guy worship me? Would I be five inches taller and have porn tits? No, that was not my reality. My moment in the spotlight sucked some serious ass.
Characters
Jenna HamiltonAshley Rickards · 54 quotes
Tamara KaplanJillian Rose Reed · 49 quotes
Sadie SaxtonMolly Tarlov · 45 quotes
Lacey HamiltonNikki DeLoach · 13 quotes
Matty McKibbinBeau Mirchoff · 10 quotes
Lissa MillerGreer Grammer · 8 quotes
Ming HuangJessica Lu · 7 quotes
AllyBarret Swatek · 5 quotes
KevinMike Faiola · 4 quotes
VVal4 quotes
Valerie MarksDesi Lydic · 4 quotes
Jake RosatiBrett Davern · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Jenna Hamilton & Tamara Kaplan (11), Jenna Hamilton & Lacey Hamilton (6), Jenna Hamilton & Matty McKibbin (5)
S1 E1Pilot
[to Jenna] Why can't she be like every other teenager and starve herself?
It was just a dramatic teenager rant! Not a cry for help. It was a misunderstanding of epic proportions. God, I wanted to die. I mean, you know what I mean.
S1 E2Knocker Nightmare
Jenna, we got your texts. Where are you on the Britney meter?
I may be mid head shave.
Maybe people would stop staring at you if you could just finish the abortion your mom botched.
In my fantasy scenario, I was gonna be the badass, the rebel, I'd be a legendary sophomore rockstar that no one would ever forget again. But in reality, I had 30 more people taking pictures of my tits.
S1 E3The Way We Weren't
I was living this magical high school moment that I only thought happened in movies and like most leading ladies, I wanted more. Not more boning. I wasn't starting a lifelong battle with sex addiction. I just wanted more intimacy.
If we don't go, then the terrorists win and by terrorists, I mean Sadie.
S1 E4The Scarlet Eye
[to Tamara] Was there an orgy at Lissa's?
Evidently. And get this: I was part of it. I mean I wasn't really part of it, but everyone will think I was. Oh my God, this is so much better than a red cup photo. Now I have red cup on my face!
Well, I don't know if this will make you feel better, but at least you'll be happy you're not me. When I got home, my parents took the bark control shock collar off our dog and put it on me.
Do all boners look like weapons?
S1 E5Jenna Lives
[to Jenna] I didn't know you were a smoker.
I'm not.
Well, I hear cancer does make your ass look huge.
Your suicide stigma is like the herps. Just when you think it's gone, it comes back.
S1 E6Queen Bee-atches
If I wrote you an evil letter, you'd better believe I'd sign my name.
[to Tamara] What are you doing?
Snooping, I found Satan's room!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Awkward pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.