S3 E1 Cha-cha-cha-Changes
Did the condom break? Did you even use one?
No, it was only one time.
I wasn’t thinking. I was just caught up…
In the moment. I know. I’ve been there. Don’t be afraid. If you’re pregnant, chances are, you’ll only be nauseous for a month.
Or three, but the delivery happens lickety-split unless it gets caught in your underdeveloped tibs and then it could take much longer. But you only have to sit on a donut pillow for a couple weeks which is totally okay because you probably won’t want to eat solids for a while. It’s hard to poop, but a baby is so amazing... once you get some sleep. God, I think the sleep deprivation was worse than the delivery. I couldn’t see straight for months. I really shouldn’t have been driving with an infant in the car.
S3 E2 Responsibly Irresponsible
Rest in peace, Ricky. You douchebag.
Thank you, but you can stuff this up your ass. I'm not in mourning and what the hell would a fucking penguin do if I was?
S3 E3 A Little Less Conversation
[to Jenna] I'm gonna stop you right there, J. When was the last time you had a nut in your mouth?
Tell Gingerskank to go fuck herself and then forget I called. I'm fine.
My mom was right about one thing. You guys are different kinds of people and I'm your kind.
Can everyone calm the fuck down? Now!
[to Jenna] It doesn't have to make sense to you! It only has to make sense to me! I'm your father.
The morning dig. For my mother, it was the best part of waking up.
I am an expert at getting men to leave my pad.
Ricky, were you attracted to Sadie's manish appearance because you were gay?
It was Halloween. That special time of year where students everywhere honored the dead by dressing as sluts.
Jenna, I love your costume.
I'm not wearing a costume.
Really? Because you are the best loser I've seen all morning.
You're the shit. So put your hater shades on and black out her vibes.
S3 E7 Guilt Trippin
Aw, it is so sweet of you to take an interest in the bottom feeders of the social aquarium, but I cannot discuss other student's problems.
Page 1 of 3
Next ›
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Awkward pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .