I always thought that wrestling was rigged.
If that's the case, Neville, how come I always bloody well lose? [They laugh]
Last orders, please!
Here, chief. What d'you want, Nev?
I'm all right, lads.
Oh, just half.
Er, I'll have a large Scotch and no ice, thanks. [Leaves the money on the bar and goes off to the toilet.]
Right. A pint and a half of bitter, a large Scotch, no ice. [Den leaves the bar.] Den's knocking back the hard stuff. Or is it just the excitement of the occasion?
Ah, I've hardly seen him, Bomb, actually. Oh, mind, I did have a drink with him last week and he was knocking back the Scotches at dinner time.
Oh, it's all right if you can afford it.
Course he went back to the family and that, but it never worked out.
Is that right? So he gives up Dagmar and ends up with nothing. It must have hurt him pretty hard.
[Comes to the bar] Look, lads, I've been addressing meself to the problems of accomodation. Apparently, there's a B&B down the road, or there's a lovely motel half a mile past the roundabout.
Motel.
Yeah, I fancy the latter meself. [The pub phone rings.]
Neville I thought we were all goin' for a curry.
Oh, no, Nev. I'm gonna give the vindaloo a miss. I've never found it much conducive to romance.
Barman [Having answered the phone] Is there a Dennis Patterson here?
Aye. That must be Dennis. [Dennis returns to the bar] Den, there's a phone call for you.
Eh?
Phone.
It cannae be for me, man. Naebody knows I'm here.
No, honest.
Are you Dennis Patterson?
Aye. [The barman signals for Dennis to come round to the phone. Dennis does so.] Hello?
So where are we staying then, Nev?
Eh? I dunno. Barry's, I suppose.
There ain't many amenities, mate. If I were you, I'd come with us. I might need a bit of, er... immoral support. [Tipping his head to the hitchhikers. Dennis returns to the bar.]
Who was that, Den? Was it Norma?
Nah. It was Barry.
Is he comin' back?
[Downing his Scotch] No. He'd rather we went across to see him. Yeah... he's been breathalysed! [He and Neville laugh.]
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