[As she and Archer try to run away] Go, go, go-- [Archer grabs her shirt and pulls her back to the ground as he runs away] AH! Are you really that selfish?!
Apparently!
S3 E5El Contador
AGH! Eat a dick, jungle!
For a second there I thought you were a crocodile on a three wheeler.
Crocodiles on a three wheeler?
Right, how scary would that be?
What the hell, damn guy?!
Speaking of excellence, did you hear we met a tiger? But...he was murdered.
Anyway, effective immediately, I'm promoting Cyril to field agent.
LRLana, Ray, and Cyril
[simultaneously] What?!
Hey, that sounds great. Best of luck. [turns to leave]
Where do you think you're going?
Oh, sorry, I gotta get back to Earth before the Stargate closes.
Get back in here!
Mother, the chevrons are locking!
S3 E6The Limited
I've always wanted to fight on top of a moving train.
BBilko
Well, if I know my boys, you might get your chance, big guy.
Thanks, Freddy Foreshadowing.
My great-grandfather was nuts for skating. That and the Klan.
Have the porter bring me a cobb salad.
Before or after we capture the dangerous terrorist?
Before.
I'm looking for a terrorist and an ocelot!
Please tell me that's a smoke grenade.
Okay... it's not though.
[Describing an Ocelot's paw-prints] They look just like a housecat's, but bigger and awesomer.
[to Babou the ocelot while handcuffed in a police car] They called you exotic. Which is just people talk for awesome. Which you are, which is why I am so happy I saved your life, buddy. [Babou growls and squeaks to him] Don't worry, probably just thousands of dollars in fines, maybe a little bit of jail time, hopefully just probation. [Babou leans forward and urinates on the car seat next to Archer. Archer speaks in a strained voice] Totally worth it. [Babou growls] No, Babou, that was all sarcasm. [more growls] YES, ALL OF IT, YOU FOX-EARED ASSHOLE!
[Climbing to the top of the moving train] This is going to be awe-- SHIIIIITT! [The wind causes Archer to lose his gun] AHHHH! The dust! It's like being shot in the eyes by a... glitter gun! [Puts on night vision goggles] There, that ought to do it. Okay, let's try this aga-- [Gets blinded by the lights of a passing train] AAARGHSHIIIITTTT! My retinas are seared like tuna steaks!!! ALL I WANT IS TO FIGHT ON TOP OF A TRAIN! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! [Switches off the night-vision on his goggles] The good news is, now I'm furious.
S3 E7Drift Problem
Paging Doctor Boy, Doctor Birthday Boy!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.