You're taking me out of the field?
Well unless we need someone to go undercover as a shopping cart...
“El Contador” · Season 3, Episode 5
In this episode: Malory Archer (12), Lana Kane (5), Ray Gillette (3), Calzado (3), Pam Poovey (2), Cheryl Tunt (2), Cyril Figgis (2)
If you were in my tax bracket, you wouldn't be shouting such socialist propaganda.
Or wearing such shitty clothes.
[On Cyril being a field agent] The last time I tried to train him resulted in a dead hooker in my trunk!
There was no dead hooker.
There could have been!
Well look on the bright side.
Which is?
Which is what?
You just said look on the brightside.
Its a figure of speech.
You're looking for Predator aren't you?
...yes!
A, he's invisible.
Not totally, he has a tell-tale shimmer.
If this doesn't work, we just paid a hundred buck for liquid fart.
Yeah, well, here's shit in your eye.
[The three toast their mugs and drink the "herbal tea"]
Oh God, it tastes worse than it smells!
Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say that... [Brightly] I'd have eight nickels!
[vomiting in a toilet] Oh, my God. I'm gonna die in a toilet stall, just like the gypsy said.
Damn that Krieger! Nazi clone Bastard!
Tomorrow I will be hunting the most dangerous game in the world.
Jai alai?
Well, go ahead and say it.
What?
That since we are going to die tomorrow, we should have sex.
Are you kidding? After seeing a tiger get murdered? Lana, I'm not in the mood!...I mean, if you want to, I can watch while you masturbate, but just so you know, my heart's not going to be into it. It's going to be with that tiger's family...But, you know...go ahead and start.
[As she and Archer try to run away] Go, go, go-- [Archer grabs her shirt and pulls her back to the ground as he runs away] AH! Are you really that selfish?!
Apparently!
AGH! Eat a dick, jungle!
For a second there I thought you were a crocodile on a three wheeler.
Crocodiles on a three wheeler?
Right, how scary would that be?
What the hell, damn guy?!
Speaking of excellence, did you hear we met a tiger? But...he was murdered.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.