Paging Doctor Boy, Doctor Birthday Boy!
“Drift Problem” · Season 3, Episode 7
In this episode: Malory Archer (9), Lana Kane (2), Pam Poovey (2), Cheryl Tunt (2), Dr. Krieger (1)
Does no one seriously know what today is?
Tuesday?
The rapture?
Press that red button.
Is it going to kill everyone?
Press that blue button.
[Archer presses the button, activating a recording]
MModel
Welcome, Mr. Archer...
It does know my name!
MModel
...to the Dodge Challenger Special Agent Edition, brought to you by Dodge.
Thanks, Dodge!
MModel
[all features shown] Featuring a 440 V8 engine, six-speed manual transmission, and a top speed of 185. Heavy-duty suspension, runflat tires, bulletproof body panels and windows, twin 30-cal machine guns mounted in the front, antipursuit countermeasures in the rear.
It makes the Mach-5 look like a vagina.
MModel
The interior boasts mil-spec GPS, satellite communications, hi-fi stereo, rich Corinthian leather.
Corinth is famous for its leather!
MModel
And of course...
[She opens glove compartment revealing a bar with two bottles of liquor, two glasses, and ice]
LLawyer
[fast, over Archer's hysterical laughter] The in-dash bar is to be stocked with non-alcoholic beverages only. Dodge cannot stress this enough. Never ever ever drink and drive.
[Staring at his back-lit, in-car minibar] It's like looking into the face of God.
Well go on, give your mom a hug.
Oh, I don't think that's...
[Interrupting] Possible.
What?
Ugh, he's got an erection.
It's this Corinthian leather!
How much did Dodge kick in?
Not as much as you'd think.
Black, powerful, sexy. Like if Ron O'Neal was a car.
Who taught you to drive?
This guy I know called my dead father.
Oh... I...
Yeah, I bet you feel like a dick.
That was for Pearl Harbor!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.