I'm calling Japan.
WHO THE HELL DO YOU KNOW IN JAPAN??!! NOBODY!!!
Hello, Japan?
NO!!
Yes, connect me to Godzilla, please.
[takes phone away] YOU DON'T GET ONE! I told the Drizzle you'd mess this up! It hasn't been five minutes and you already did!
S2Super Hero
S2Super Bowl
Enchiladitos, they make you wanna eat 'em!
Hey, Carl.
CCarl
Hey, hey, hey, just the man I wanted to see. I done heard through the grape vine that someone won a big prize recently.
Yup, I won two tickets to the Super Ball.
CCarl
No, it's, it's "Bowl." It's cute that you said that 'cause you's a frickin' idiot.
[At night, Shake smiles at Meatwad in his room. He grabs a gutter from behind him and turns his smile into a frown]
I didn't leave my keys in here. Silly! Uh, this must be the wrong... PLACE!
Why do you have those oven mitts on?
I'm not touching you skin-to-skin! I mean, it's extra padding, it's for your pleasure.
I'm not entirely comfortable with the level of asbestos in these mitts.
Just take deep breaths... breathe it in and die! Give me those tickets!
Yep, Super Bowls are fun. We got braggin' rights this year. Number One.
Who?
Number One.
Who's Number One?
I don't know.
You don't know... because you went to a fucking farm, you fucking imbecile!
[Meatwad leaves]
Get back here! You cost me my one chance! I GOT FUCKING DIABETES AND CANCER BECAUSE OF YOU!
CCarl
[playing football with Meatwad] Okay, so you've got the ball. Now you wanna wrap your... uh, you know, that stretchy little, sticky thing...
[grabbing the football and pushing it into his face, distorting his features] Like dis?
CCarl
No.
[with the football sitting on his head, and four "arms" of meat waving around] What about dis?
CCarl
(frowning) No, not like... that, either... no...
(with the ball in his mouth) How about this?
CCarl
Oh... whatever. It's... going right in the trash after this, so... uhhh... yeah, let 'er rip!
[spits out the football]
CCarl
Yeah, hooray... we won! Who are you takin' to the Super Bowl?
CCarl
Okay, time out here. Look, ever since my son was... never conceived since I've never had consensual sex without there being money involved, I've always thought of you as something that I could sorta... live next to... in accordance with state laws.
That's so sweet. You tryin' to say that you love me.
CCarl
Whoah, let's not put people on the spot here.
[Carl puts on a foam "#1" glove.]
CCarl
[angrily] WHO ARE YOU TAKING TO THAT FRICKIN' SUPERBOWL?!
Carl, your finger!
[To Meatwad] Who are you taking?
CCarl
Yeah, who are you takin'?
Carl? How did you get in here?
CCarl
The window, jackass. WHO ARE YOU TAKIN'?!?!?!
T-this is a box. Are y'outta ya freakin' mind?! You'll get arrested!
Gentlemen, meet my new best friend... (70's disco plays) Boxy Brown.
Meet your new dead best friend.
Uh uh, fool. Step back.
You'd best listen to Boxy, now. He don't play.
Listen to what?! He's imaginary for Chri- YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE FEETBALL, I'M THE NUMBER ONE SUPER FAN!
S2Super Computer
[Carl's house]
CCarl
What do you mean you've "gotta count those"? There's over $200 in there! Oohh, okay Candy. I guess we're not in America. I guess now I'm not allowed to pay for sex with pennies. [gets hit with super computer as Candy takes money]
Damn, Carl. I thought you knew hoes would be hoes, brother.
Gentleman, say goodbye to your old desktop! [turns on computer and it disappears]
Say goodbye to your new one too.
Where did it go?! What the hell happened?!
Was it supposed to do that?
Did it bust through the wall again?
Yes it did.
No it didn't!
Do..what'd it do? Where do I go...to do the poop?
My pizza's here! Pizza time! Pizza time, pizza time, pizza time...
Meatwad [to Frylock]: He's right. It all makes sense now...you're a damn witch.
Oh yeah, well whatcha gonna do about it?
Eat pizza. Pizza time, pizza time, pizza time!
Dang, what was that?
Master Shake(angrily shocked): What are you doing in the shower?!
OOog
So there me was beating boulder into powder because me couldn't eat it and magic ball land in lap. Naturally, me think, "All right! Free Egg!" because me stupid and me cave man. So me spent about 3 days humping and bust open with thigh bone so me could eat it good, then magic ball shoot Oog with beam, and next thing me know me go out and invent wheel out of dinosaur brain! Magic dino-wheel rolled for 3 short distance before me eat it, the point is me get smarter. Soon, me walk upright. Me featherback dirty, matted hair into wings for style and me stop to use bathroom as opposed to me just doing it as me walk.
S2Super Model
Boy, sure is nice not havin' Shake around.
Yeah, it is odd that he'd go down to Guatemala to be a missionary. In fact, it's not true.
Look here, he can be down on a prom date with Santa Claus on the moon for all I care. 'Point is, I can do whatever I want with my toys.
Pick up your toys.
... Shut up.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.