Robot Dad quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

WE live here now!

Yay!

Who are you?

Well I'm thee uh...I'm thee, real-a-tor... and I gotta say, I'm puttin' my foot down. I need proof of uh... you know-you gotta job, man?

I have no credit, no savings, and I'm between opportunities.

But I must warn you, he is lazy...

...Extremely lazy

Markula

Carl, have you seen the deadbeats around? You know, "the food".

No, they left in the middle of the night.

Markula

That's because I had demons drag them off into the night. I'm not going to fix a gas leak for them. At this very moment they are being cocooned by military spiders in a cave in the Mojave Desert. That's what I do to a-holes. But not you [the robots]. I would never do that to you. You're free to stay here forever and ever. [Transforms into a bat] Now, feast! [leaves]

Feast on what, man?

Oh, boy! Invisible robot meat! My favorite.

Look, kids! Invisible robot meat!

Robot meat! Robot meat! Robot meat!

...All right, if you need anything [holds a flame to the gas leak setting the house on fire] do not-do not come next door.

Carl...Carl...Hey Carl...CARL!

AH!!!

We can't sleep.

Can you?

Get outta my friggin' house!

No, I want some water.

Yes, we all want water.

Yay! Water! Water! Water!

Fine, fine! Get some in the bathroom and then get out of here!

[pause] Robots don't drink water. Use your brain. You failed test #1.

What're you talkin' about man?

You will pass or else [dramatic music plays].

Or else what?[the robot shoots Carl's right shoulder hair off] Ah! My shoulder hair!

Come on kids. Chubby is grumpy.

Chubby's grumpy.

Whoa whoa whoa, do the other one. At least make it even [the robot shoots Carl's left shoulder hair off] Ah! Now get outta here!

Hey Ma! It's Carl! How are you doing! Hey Ma, I'm thinking of packing my bags and heading over to that dark dismal va hospital you live at.

Carl, come outside!

Carl, hang up!

Oh, no, no, no, I'll bring a car it'll be fine.

Carl!

Hang up, Carl!

What do you mean tomorrow's physical therapy? It's Carl! Your Son! Ya, the one with the mustache! Oh, is that right? WELL YOU TOO YOU BITCH!

Apply the diodes!

You will feel no pain.

You will feel no pain.

But you must sit very still.

You must sit very still.

Ring the bell when the flies come.

Ring the bell when the flies come!

Okay, is this a test?

Yeah, it's a test, sure. See you in one hour.

Okay, I got a bee. Does a bee count?

No...no, only flies.

Only flies!

We have had legendary arguments with flies!

I still got one more test here. I got a test, uh, for you.

Well, we don't take tests.

Yeah, but this one's supereasy. It's called..."count the bullets."

Well, we're not good at math.

15,943. Do more! More! They're like vitamins to us.

Yeah? (Carl keeps shooting through the end of the show)