TV QuotesDatabase
5 SEASONS

TV show quotes

Animaniacs quotes

261 quotes · page 6 of 18

Animaniacs
All S1 S2 S3 S4 S5

S1 E21The Flame/Wakko's America/Davy Omelette/Four Score and Seven Migraines Ago

[singing] Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Indianapolis, Indiana, and Columbus is the capital of Ohio, there's Montgomery, Alabama, south of Helena, Montana, then there's Denver, Colorado under Boise, Idaho. Texas has Austin, then we go north, to Massachusetts' Boston and Albany, New York. Tallahassee, Florida, and Washington, D.C., Santa Fe, New Mexico and Nashville, Tennessee. Elvis used to hang out there a lot, you know. Trenton's in New Jersey, north of Jefferson, Missouri, you've got Richmond in Virginia, South Dakota has Pierre, Harrisburg's in Pennsylvania, and Augusta's up in Maine, and here is Providence, Rhode Island next to Dover, Delaware. Concord, New Hampshire, just a quick jaunt. To Montpelier, which is up in Vermont. Hartford's in Connecticut, so pretty in the fall. And Kansas has Topeka, Minnesota has St. Paul. Juneau's in Alaska, and there's Lincoln in Nebraska, and it's Raleigh out in North Carolina, and then there's Madison, Wisconsin and Olympia in Washington, Phoenix, Arizona and Lansing, Michigan. Here's Honolulu, Hawaii's a joy, Jackson, Mississippi and Springfield, Illinois, South Carolina with Columbia down the way. And Annapolis in Maryland on Chesapeake Bay. They have wonderful clam chowder. Cheyenne is in Wyoming, and perhaps you'd make your home in, Salt Lake City out in Utah, where the buffalo roam. Atlanta's down in Georgia, and there's Bismarck, North Dakota, And you can live in Frankfort in your old Kentucky home. Salem in Oregon, from there we join. Little Rock in Arkansas, Iowa's got Des Moines, Sacramento, California, Oklahoma and its city, Charleston, West Virginia and Nevada, Carson City! That's all the capitals, they are! [the song ends, the "incorrect" buzzer is heard] Huh?

FMiss Flamiel

Oh, I'm so sorry. You failed to put your response to the form of the question.

[Wakko whacks the violin on top of his head and falls unconsciously as Yakko shrugs this shoulders in remorse and Dot spreads her arms wide with pleasure]

S1 E22Guardin' the Garden/Plane Pals

SSerpent

[dazed by a cannonball] Colonel Mustard did it in the kitchen. [Slappy opens the door and behind it was a cannon which exploded in the Serpent's face] ...Or was it Miss Scarlett?

IBIvan Bloski

This is absurd! You little goons have been bothering me ever since I sat down! Do you know who I am?

No. Do you know who "I" am?

IBIvan Bloski

No!

Then we're even.

[as Ivan Bloski jumps into the ocean and swims away furiously] Friends don't let friends disappear over the horizon alone. [the Warners all jump into a rowboat] Wait!

Stick around!

We're gonna make sloppy joes and rent Don Knotts videos!

S1 E23Be Careful What You Eat/Up the Crazy River/Ta Da Dump, Ta Da Dump, Ta Da Dump Dump Dump

Hey! Let's get some ice cream!

How 'bout this one? "Pistachio Almond Fruit Fudge Butterscotch Delight".

Ingredients: Zinc trisodium, aspartate, sorbitol and bisulfate, oxide beta carotene, lactic acid, carob bean. [singing] Grade-A milk emulsified, malto-dextrine alkalide, silicon deoxylite, lots of sugar.

WDWakko and Dot

Hey, alright!

Calcified synthetic salt, artificial barley malt, glycerine and aspartate, folic acid.

That tastes great!

Monosodium glutamate, dehydrated calceinate, soybean oil, butter fat, caramel center.

I'll eat that!

YDYakko and Dot

Hooray for sugar, 'cause we love it! Chocolate chips, we want more of it! Cakes and ice cream! Want to shove it down our throats real fast!

Here's a candy bar, you tried it?

Hey, let's all see what's inside it!

Gelatinized triglycerin, phosphate, soybean, lecithin, deoxylite tri-silicon, dipped in chocolate.

WDWakko and Dot

Bring it on!

Citrus enzymes, BHT, powdered milk.

Sounds good to me!

Baking soda, carob gum, carbohydrates.

WDWakko and Dot

Yummy-yum!

Monosodium glutamate, zinc disodium algenate, whole grain flour, yeast and fat.

Time to eat it! I'll do that!

We like sweets a lot, so give us all you've got and we'll stuff 'em in our bodies 'til they make our insides rot!

S1 E24Opportunity Knox/Wings Take Heart

Do you realize what we will do with this pollen, Pinky?

Um, open a boutique?

[sarcastically] Yes, that's it, we'll open a boutique and sell ladies clothing and pollen.

Egad, Brain, what fun! I like this idea, I do!

S1 E25Hercule Yakko/Home on De-Nile/A Midsummer Night's Dream

Number one sister! Dust for prints! [Dot pulls out a feather duster] Doctor Wakko, it could be a long night. Better order some pizzas.

[picks up a telephone next to the chair] I'd like 42 pizzas, 6 with no crusts. [smiles at camera]

[goes over to Flavio and Marita] Now - Do you have any enemies?

FMFlavio and Marita

No.

Do you have any creditors?

FMFlavio and Marita

No.

Well then... [runs over to a piano and begins playing it] Do you have any requests? Thank you so much! [picks up a mic and begins singing] Way down, Jack / Upon the Nile River, Jack...

I found Prince! [holding the musical artist Prince in her arms]

No no no, fingerprints! [wiggles his fingers]

[looks at Prince, he smiles at her, then puts his head back in a "facepalm"; shakes her head to the camera] I don't think so. [tosses him out a window]

[Yakko is reciting Puck's final monologue from A Midsummer Night's Dream while Dot translates]

And now, the Warner Brothers in a scene from William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream", translated for those viewers who, likeYakko, have no idea what he's saying.

[annoyed] Hmph! [Dot giggles] If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended.

If the actors in our show made you mad, it will be okay if you look at it this way!

That you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear.

You fell asleep on your butt and dreamed the whole thing.

And this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream.

There was a hole in the plot you can drive a truck through.

[Behind the action, Wakko is picking flowers and is swatted by a group a fairies. He sprays them away with a fire hose]

Gentles, do not reprehend...

Honeys, don't blame us. You could be watching Oprah.

If you pardon, we will mend.

But we're sorry and we promise our next show will be full of funny skits.

[Wakko continues to pick flowers when a very sexy fairy emerges]

[enamored] Hello pixie! [chases after her]

And, as I am an honest Puck...

I'm not touching that one.

If we have unearned luck now to 'scape the serpent's tongue.

What he said.

We will make amends ere long!

We'll buy you foot long hot dogs!

Else the Puck a liar call: So, good night unto you all. [he blows a kiss]

Goodnight everybody!

Give me your hands, if we be friends.

Applaud if you like us!

[The pixie Wakko has been chasing after comes up behind him enraged. He tries to give her flowers while she tries to swat him with a huge fly swatter]

And Robin shall restore amends.

And the Boy Wonder will save us.

[The Batmobile drives up and the Warners all jump in it, and it drives away, causing the pixie to spin around]

PPixie

[dazed] Oh, what fools these Warners be!

S1 E26Testimonials/Babblin' Bijou/Potty Emergency/Sir Yaksalot

Did you call for the bravest, most daring knight in all the land?

KAKing Arthur

Oh, yes.

Well, too bad. You got us.

What a silly mix-up!

[laughing]: Naughty Frog. Narf! [laughs]

Hysterical, Pinky! [throws gear at Pinky]

Zort!

KAKing Arthur

Mice? But, why?!

We were trying to destroy Camelot in yet another attempt to take over the world. Come, Pinky. Back to the drawing board.

Stands in the corner! Naughty frog! [laughs, Brain slaps him]

S1 E27You Risk Your Life/I Got Yer Can/Jockey for Position

It's time to play...

AAudience

[offscreen, as the words "You Risk Your Life" appear on the screen] You Risk Your Life!

Now, everybody's favorite host, Yakko.

[stock footage of a live-action audience clapping plays]

[Yakko cuts through the curtain with scissors, then slams his head on the stage a couple of times. Stock footage of a live-action audience clapping plays]

Thank you. Oh, Scratchansniff. Why don't we bring out our first two contestants?

Okay. She's a homemaker from Madison, Wisconsin. He is the world's greatest philosopher. Please, welcome Mrs. Myra Puntridge und Aristotle.

[The curtain reveals Mrs. Myra Puntridge (actually Elmra Duff from Tiny Toons Adventures), and Aristotle. Stock footage of a live-action audience clapping plays]

Welcome to You Risk Your Life. Say the secret word, and Wakko will hit you on the head with a mallet.

[offscreen, whispering] Today's secret word is "Yes."

Now, Myra, you're a homemaker, is that right?

MPMrs. Myra Puntridge

Oh, correct.

What kind of homes do you make?

[stock footage of a live-action audience laughing plays]

And, Aristotle, let's see here. It says you are a philosopher, is that correct?

AAristotle

Yes.

[Dinging is heard offscreen, and Aristotle gets hit on the head]

Congratulations. You said the secret word. Well, are you both ready to play you risk your life?

AAristotle

Yes.

[Dinging is heard offscreen, and Aristotle gets hit on the head again]

You said the secret word again. Congratulations. All right, you've chosen the category "Vocabulary." Here's your question. "What word is the opposite of 'No'?"

[Mrs. Myra Puntridge and Aristotle whisper]

AAristotle

Yes.

[stock footage of a live-action audience clapping plays]

That's correct!

[Dinging is heard offscreen, and Aristotle gets hit on the head again]

Good night, everybody. See you tomorrow.

Mallet furnished by Bashem and Wallop of Beverly Hills. Good night.

[comes out of her tree, drinking a can of diet walnut soda] Aah, diet soda. Heh. Gotta watch my figure. [showing her legs] Hey, somebody's gotta watch it. [chuckles, and walks away from her tree]

[from the window] Where're you going, Aunt Slappy?!

To the store for some buttermilk.

Speeewww!

Hey, they make it, somebody's gotta drink it.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Animaniacs pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.