Just try it again. This time I'll get it.
Okay, tell me what I'm thinking.
Okay. You're thinking of the 1927 Yankees.
I'm still thinking of a fork.
But didn't one of their pitchers throw a fork ball?
Oh, we're okay. Don't get up.
Guess what, Alf can read our minds.
He's not reading mine at the moment.
Yes, I am. I'm just ignoring you.
How to develop your psychic awareness in one afternoon.
Yeah. Came with a pair of these x-ray glasses.
You wasted good money on a mind reading kit?
We'll make it all back with our stock market picks.
ALF. You come from an advanced civilisation. How can you be so gullible?
You're right. I'm ashamed. Nice underwear Kate.
Oh good, everyone's here. Where's Kate?
Thanks! [exits the living room]
He might! [Kate screams from the shower] He did.
[reappears in the living room] Found her!
ALF, you don't walk into other people's showers.
I didn't walk in. I just pulled the curtain open.
I insist that you respect my wife's privacy.
Alright, alright. We're movin' on. I need to have a family meeting here. [hangs up the phone that Lynn is using]
[angrily] You do that again, you're a seat cover!
ALF, that was very rude hanging up the phone like that.
You're right. I'm sorry. You look a little different today.
Did you used to have a moustache?
Yeah but didn't you used to have a moustache too?
ALF, what do have to say that's so important?
You better not be finished.
I wasn't. Tomorrow is the 2nd.
Hey wait, wait. Come here. Come back here. Every 75 years on March 2nd, I go through a complex physiological and psychological transformation.
I go goofy. All Melmacians go through it. From sunrise to sunset my personality will change dramatically.
How dramatic is this change?
One never knows till it happens. But expect the unexpected. Wildly erratic behavior, personality shifts. The main thing is that I'll do anything to get out of that cage and get my hands on a cat. Any questions?
Oh, ah, the cage you're going to build for me. The one with the reinforced sides.
[the Tanners prepared a cage for ALF]
Well, I guess it's that time.
Thanks Brian. Now remember Willie, you are not, I repeat not to let me out of here under any circumstances. Is that clear?
Good. [he enters the cage] Good, now let me out. I have to use the little aliens room.
What are you doing!? Are you crazy? Didn't I say not to open this door under any circumstances?
Well I thought, I thought you really had to go.
You have a lunatic on your hands here. You got to be prepared for all kinds of diabolical tricks.
You know, maybe I should go, just to be on the safe side.
Good. You're finally catching on. Now, now let me out I have to go.
[ALF howls]
That's just another one of his tricks.
Help! Help! Fire! Somebody let me out.
Ohh, there's a big rat in here.
[in Lynn's voice] Mom, Dad, get me out of here.
Lynn, that sounded just like you.
Excuse me but this is really weird. I can't watch.
[in Brian's voice] Wait for me. Wait for me.
Oh Brian, you better go to your room too. This could get out of hand.
[in Willie's voice] This could get out of hand! This could get out of hand!
It's going to be a long night.
[Brian gets up in the middle of the night while ALF is inside a cage]
Yo, B, Brian. Where are you going?
Oh yeah, that would sure hit the spot. Hey, come here.
I'm not supposed to talk to you.
Not talk to your old buddy? You don't have to be afraid. It's over. I'm back to my old self. Come on, let me out.
You said not until sunrise.
Brian, it's me. The old Alfer. The guy who taught you how to read minds. In fact, I know what you're thinking right now.
That you want to let your old pal out of this cage. Right?
No. I was thinking of a fork. [ALF imitates a clock buzzer] What's that?
Oh it's my alarm. It's sunrise. You can let me out now.
Not on Melmac. See that's the time we go by. So I made it. Open up.
I'm sure. I'm sure. Open up. I'm hungry.
Phew. Thanks. Oh hey, would you check in that cage. I left my hash brown bucket in there. [Brian enters the cage and he locks him inside and laughs]
ALF, why are you locking me in this cage.
Sorry kid, I need a head start. Save me some hash browns. Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
[Brian is locked inside the cage by ALF in the middle of the night]
[inside the cage] Mom! Dad! Mom! Dad! Let me out!
Oh boy, he does a good Brian.
You'd hardly know it was ALF.
[inside the cage] It's me, it's really me!
Honey, maybe it is Brian.
But that can't be. Brian's in bed.
Honey, honey, it looks just like Brian.
Maybe ALF can change his shape, too.
[inside the cage] No he can't. It's me.
Alright, alright. If you're really Brian what's your favorite food?
No, no, no, that is his favourite food.
I thought it was Lynn liked spaghetti.
Say, what's your favourite food?
I don't know. White boiled potatoes.
I thought you liked spaghetti.
Willie! Willie, I'm going to open this cage.
No wait. What's your mother's maiden name?
Well, you know it's the name she had before she was married.
No, her other name. Her last name.
He told me the change was over. I'm really sorry.
Oh, honey, it's alright. But what were you doing up in the middle of the night?
I thought I wanted some milk. Maybe it was ALF was trying to call me in my mind.
No, I don't think so, Brian.
The gate to the Ochmoneks' is wide open.
Oh, no. Lucky's over there. I'm going to go next door and see if ALF is there. You stay here in case he comes back.
Oh, well, you'd both better go back to bed.
Alright, alright, we'll stay up and have a snack. What would you like?
LBLynn and Brian
Spaghetti. White boiled potatoes.
[as there is a knock on the door, Trevor goes downstairs to wake up Raquel]
Hey, Raquel! [Raquel snores] Raquel!
Oh, oh, was I snoring again?
I'm coming, I'm coming. Keep your shorts on.
Who could that be at this time of night?
It's probably the airport asking you to keep it down. Alright, alright, alright. Hey, Tanner.
[comes in Trevor and Raquel's house] Trevor. Hi Raquel.
I'm sorry to bother you this late at night but, I just came over. I was hoping I could get Lucky. I mean Lucky, our cat.
Oh. At this time of night?
Well, we were worried about him. It's his first night away from home.
Yeah, I had a feeling. Raquel, get the cat.
I can't go near that cat. You know it makes my feet swell.
Oh, yeah. Then you'll be wearing my shoes again. I'll get the cat. [walks away]
That's all right. Willie, can I get you something? I just bought one of those international coffees.
Something without caffeine?
No, no. No I don't need anything from the kitchen.
I can't find the little fella anywhere. [noises from the kitchen] Hey, what's going on in the kitchen? [he and Raquel head to the kitchen]
How long do you preheat these for a cat?
Give me that! [ALF laughs but he leaves as he gives the toaster oven to Willie who laughs at it]
This toaster oven. Is it a toaster, or is it an oven? [laughs]
Haven't you ever felt the need to just hold something?
I just found the strangest thing. An open can of minestrone in the kitchen.
Oh, that was probably the cat.
It's amazing, I know. We're trying to get him on Letterman.
That better not be my cologne.
Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Alright. Who needs him? There are a million cats out there! Give me your car keys.
ALF, we're going to go home, right now!
I'll buy you another one.
You got that right. [lawn mower starting] Raquel, that sounds like your riding mower.
Hey, where are you going with my toaster oven?
Or in the words of Dustan, "It ill-becomes us to jest at a fallen potentate and still less before he has fallen."
Say, how much longer are you going to do this?
Well, if I may quote Porky Pig, "G'b, g'b, g'b, g'b, that's all, folks!" And speaking of Porky (sniffs the air) do I smell bacon?
I thought you spent the whole night eating, eating cats.
I don't think I did. At least, I don't feel bloated. But now that you mention cats, I do remember storing something in the garage.
The garage? You, this way. [he and ALF head to the garage] If you've stolen any cats, they're going back immediately. Do you understand?
[ALF and Willie enter the garage but they discover that there is a tiger inside]
I'll take him back right after breakfast.
