[at the end, the family gives ALF a homemade medal for his bravery]
For meritorious service above and beyond the call of duty we hereby present to you the Tanner Medal of Honor.
Shucks, folks. I'm speechless, almost. 11 score and 12 years ago. [reads from a book] My parents brought forth a new hero conceived in a De Soto, and dedicated-
[interrupted ALF's reading] ALF. ALF, wrap it up or we take the medal back.
As God as my witness I'll never be hungry again. Thank you. [the family claps for him] And now, Kate, how about making me a hero sandwich? [laughs, but he hides under the table as Trevor knocks on the door]
[Willie opens the door and finds Trevor cover by ALF's trap]
TrevorDoes this belong to you?
Trevor
You got something I could cut Raquel down with?
I think there's something in the garage. I'll help you.
Trevor
If you don't want people taking avocados from your tree just say so. [he and Willie leave the house]
[gets up as Kate stares at him] Last trap, I promise.
Remember, Kate, I like my waffles crisp, yet al dente. Cooked to a golden amber, and served piping hot on a gently warmed plate. [Kate puts the waffle on his plate] How does she do it?
Do you want some maple syrup, ALF?
On waffles? How gauche. Get me the garlic salt?
Guess what? The car won't start again.
3 times in 2 weeks. Every time they fix 1 thing, something else goes wrong.
Well, I don't get it. Why keep spending money on something that doesn't work and causes nothing but aggravation?
Somehow we've gotten used to it. [ALF burps] Sort of.
Speaking of aggravation we're out of garlic salt.
Trevor
[from outside] Hey, Tanners! Guess who?
Let me take a stab. It's the wacky next door neighbor. [hides under the table]
Trevor
Hi, Willie. Hi, Kate. Hi, kids.
Trevor
I just stopped by to see if you needed a ride to work again.
Well, as a matter of fact, I do. My car won't start again.
Trevor
You should let Jake take a look at it. Kid could fix anything, has my car running like Florence Joyner. Oh, by the way, Jake will be doing the driving this morning. I hope you don't mind.
I didn't know Jake could drive.
Trevor
He can't.
Trevor
He just got his learner's permit. I'm teaching him. Kid's a natural. 5 days he's been driving, hasn't hit a living thing. We'll bring the car out front.
[hiding under the table] Yo, Lynn, you could use a pedicure. [Lynn kicks him from under the table] Ow!
Willie, have you noticed that ALF's been acting rather strange lately?
Yeah, going on three years now.
No, I mean about last night when he apologized for every bad thing he's done since he got here. Alphabetically.
Oh. I got lost in between drain cloggage and drywall damage.
Then I guess you missed the part where he confessed to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby!
[Willie reacts, then there's a knock on the door.]
Trevor
[off-camera from outside] Hey, Tanners! It's me!
[Willie opens the door.]
Trevor
Good morning. I'll take it.
Trevor
Your house! [He holds up a sign he found on the front yard.]
[reading sign] House for sale? $4,000! You found that on our lawn?
Trevor
Yeah! I can let you have $100 up front if you'll finance the rest.
No. I mean, we're not selling the house.
Someone must've put that on our lawn as a kind of prank.
Trevor
Oh, too bad. This place would've made a nice summer home for me and Raquel. [closes door and walks away disappointed]
ALF · 397 quotes
