Cate quotes from 8 Simple Rules

Cate

You be nice to your dad today, he's got a lot going on at work.

Kerry

Dad's the problem. He won't even let our boyfriends come over for Thanksgiving dinner!

Bridget

Yeah, and like Dad's always telling us to feed the homeless. We don't even know them!

Paul

We're going to hear your mother sing a solo.

Cate

Oh.

Paul

Oh what, honey?

Cate

Well I just realized I'm going to be singing in front of you guys and what if I screw up? I don't want to screw up in front of you.

Paul

Oh, babe, you won't even notice us. There are going to be a couple hundred people in the church.

Cate

Oh.

Paul

Don't look at it like you're singing for a church full of people. You're singing for God.

Cate

Oh. You guys can't come.

Cate

[About Bridget's career choice and how Paul is interfeering] Alright I'll give you an example. When I was a little girl my mother would always cut off the ends when we had a pot roast. So one day I asked her why, and she said it was because her mother always did, so I went and asked my grandmother and she said it was because her mother always did. So one day i finally went to my great-grandmothers house and I asked her why she cut the ends off her pot roast. And you know what she said? Because the pan was too small Do you see what I'm getting at?

Paul

We're having pot roast for dinner?

Bridget

I am going to kill you!

Cate

What is going on?

Bridget

I just talked to Amanda who talked to Michelle who talked to Walker who's dating Josie that you...

Paul

Kerry kissing Kyle meant nothing!

Bridget

Borrowed my sweater! (long pause) What?

Paul

(to Kerry) You borrowed her sweater?!

Paul

Hey!

Cate

Rory!

Rory

Oh hey.

Paul

Where's Bridget?

Rory

I can't tell.

Paul

Rory, we don't keep secrets in this family.

Rory

Ok. Mom's got yearbooks. Oh, you mean Bridget. She went out with Ben. I'm her decoy.

Paul

I knew you had yearbooks.

Cate

You can stop building that monkey bed right now.

Rory

Aww, man!

Cate

Paul, don't yell at Kerry!

Paul

I can't yell at Kerry. I can't yell at Bridget. I have to yell at somebody! Rory, stop reading upside down!

Cate

Paul, just calm down.

Paul

I'm sorry, sweetie. I guess I'm in a bit of bad mood today. This morning, I cut myself shaving years off my life as head of this family.

Cate

So where's your family tonight, Carter?

Wife number one is in Aspen with my girls. Wife number two went back to Italy with my boys. Wife number four, my current wife, she's vacationing with her mother in Martha's Vineyard.

Paul

What about wife number three?

We don't ever talk about wife number three. I love wife number four.

Cate

Wow! A book!

Kerry

Yeah, because something more interesting than watching a car drive in a circle is reading about it.

Cate

You're the adult here, Paul! Why don't you call Carter and explain what happened?

Paul

Oh, yeah, that's a great idea, Cate. "Here's the picture my son stole from your house, when do we start the book?"

Rory

[when Bridget breaks her nose, comes down for breakfast] I am not an animal.

Bridget

Shut up!

Cate

Rory, are you about done?

Rory

Just about. I am a human... being.

Paul

We can let [Bridget] stay home a couple of days. What's the harm?

Cate

Paul, and I say this from a loving place...

Paul

I hate the loving place. I'm always wrong in the loving place.

Cate

What message do you think you're sending Bridget if you let her stay home from school?

Paul

Her father loves her more than her mother.

Cate

Hey, do you see that girl?

Rory

Oh yeah! Talk about News Flash !

Paul

Rory! [still looking at the News Footage], She can't even be out of high school. She's about the same age as, as a matter of fact, she looks a little like, alot like...

BRIDGET!

Rory

UGHHHHHH!!!

Cate

How was hanging out with Jake?

Rory

Great. Being old is cool. You get to yell at people, park anywhere, take your teeth out. I can't wait.

Cate

I am so nervous.

Paul

Why? You're a great nurse.

Cate

But now I have to boss people around.

Paul

You're great at that too. Like they say, do what you know.