[pointing to the stars] I've been there and there and there and there...
Wow. The long, boring stories you must have.
S1Dick Is From Mars, Sally Is From Venus
S1Dick, Smoker
We suck, we blow -- a posse of oral fixators. Let them try and ban smoking, for if they do!.. They'll just have a bunch of SMOKING OUTLAWS on their hands!
By the second day I could hear my inner voice, too.
What was it saying?
I have no idea, I don't speak French.
S1Green-Eyed Dick
[Sally walks into the men's locker room]
MMan
Hey, it says "men" on the door!
And you made the cut?
[to Jeff] You think you're pretty clever, don't you? I happen to know that every word in your book was published years ago! Perhaps you've read...the dictionary!
I'm going to have to find someone who can translate Ukrainian.
Uh, that's not Ukrainian, that's Turkish. Look, there's a diacritical mark over the 'o'. Bunlar her zaman savaş ganimetleri doğru beni işaret edebilir.
Well, what does it mean?
May these always point me toward the spoils of war. This isn't a thimble. It's Turkish nipple armor. In fact, it's very valuable.
Especially if you have the pair!
S1Lonely Dick
[Tommy and August meet for the first time]
I'm August. Don't call me "Augy".
I'm Tommy. Don't call me "Augy" either...
I'm sure you can defeat a simple door lock.
[Tommy breaks through the window with his hand and unlocks the door]
What are you doing?! Now this is breaking and entering! It's illegal!
What'd you expect me to do? Beam you in?
S1Body & Soul & Dick
(holding the remote) This is the second most exciting thing I have ever held in my hand.
How would you like your eyes in the bottom of a martini glass, 'cause I can do it?
HDr. Hamlin
[sounding delighted] Oh, the Amazon is going to manhandle me!
Oh, Dick, we've got cable! Seventy-two channels! And unlike primitive free television this one you get to pay for.
How can we honor the memory of a man like Leonard Hanlin? well......he was governed by the laws of physics as are all living things. it is a scientific fact that hearts and clocks slow down as they approach the speed of light, the point at which matter is converted into energy. Dr. Hanlin's heart approached that speed on friday evening at 7:57 according to the coroner, converting his matter into energy, into pure white light. Though he is no longer with us, he is all around us.
That was absolutely beautiful.
Converting matter to energy?
Could you have been more trite?
Why didn't you just phone it in?
S1Ab-Dick-ted
I'll give you your promotion if you don't say the word "really" in the next sixty seconds.
Really?
Sally You lose!
So, no matter how obnoxious you are, how much of a burden you become, you can still count on the forgiveness of your family?
Yeah.
Even if they touch your radio and refuse to make smoked chub and disobey your orders not to kill?
Yeah... even then.
That is so beautiful!
S1Truth or Dick
[opera plays on the car radio]
Dick, remember how I said I wanted to learn to sing? I've changed my mind.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 3rd Rock from the Sun pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.