Oh I can play dead; I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.
S3 E18Jackie Jormp-Jomp
Heavy is the head that eats the crayons.
S3 E19The Ones
[Singing while eating cheese] Working on my night cheese. [knock at the door] Uhh, Jack! Do you know what time it is? I was sound asleep.
I heard you singing "Night Cheese". Lemon, I've had a crazy night. We all could learn a lot from Tracy Jordan. We went out clubbing; his life is like Enron 1999. It's wild.
[sneaks in] I'm sure it was!
How are you so quiet when your parades are so loud?!
I have a terrible secret. Please don't ask me what it is.
I don't want to know what it is! [Pause] Are you a man?
Really, Lemon? You want to see me naked?
Kind of.
S3 E20The Natural Order
We figured Lutz is never going to get married, but he wants a bachelor party, so we're taking him to a strip club. You wanna come?
Come on, Liz Lemon, you don't want to be treated any differently, do you?
Sure, I'll go.
All right!
But you won't.
[gasp] Twist!
[about his pig] She went crazy! She bit off my nutsack... that I kept tied around my belt to feed the squirrels.
S3 E21Mamma Mia
If I have learned anything from my Sims family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
Maybe Donald is Tracy's son, because maybe Tracy is sixty.
No, that's ridiculous.
Think about it: he can't rap, he has diabetes, a lot of his friends are dead--
He falls asleep in chairs, he doesn't know how to use a computer, he's always mad at the TV--
TToofer
His favorite show is NCIS.
He might be seventy!
MMilton
One month I couldn't pay, so she said maybe there was something else I could give her. So I gave her my radio. Then a couple of weeks later, we got drunk and had sex.
S3 E22Kidney Now!
Science was my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testament.
Where are you gonna get a kidney from?
I don't know, but I have the entire liberal media establishment at my disposal. The same manipulation machine that got people to vote for Barack Obama, and donate all that money after Rainstorm Katrina. I'm going to use that to find my Dad a kidney.
Well, musicians have banded together before to solve all kinds of problems: world hunger, the collapse of the American farm, global warming. And, uh, you're 0 for 3, guys.
Mary J. Blige (playing herself): I am disappointed in us as a group!
S4 E1Season 4
[A waitress brings Jack, Liz, Tracy and Jenna food]
What is this?
Alright, Cheesy Blasters! [sings] You take a hotdog, stuff it with some jack cheese, fold it in a pizza - You got Cheesy Blasters! [spoken] And then all the kids say "Thanks, Meat Cat!" and Meat Cat flies away on his, um, skate board.
We'll trick those racecar-loving wide-loads into watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 30 Rock pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.