Zoey 101 quotes

Coco

I can't believe he dumped me over the phone!

Zoey

But he always dumps you over the phone.

Lola

Yeah, like every three weeks!

Coco

Oh, God! What is that?

Quinn

We're really sorry.

Zoey

But we gotta go start our homework.

Coco

I just don't understand guys. First, they tell you that they love you. Then, they tell you that you're too clingy and needy and, man, I'm hungry. I mean, I know I can be moody and bloated and judgmental and I may not bathe as much as other girls, but I'm fun to be with, right? RIGHT?! (Coco keeps sobbing.) Oh, man, there's a hair on my honeydew. (picks up honeydew, removes hair, and puts honeydew in her mouth. Zoey drops her food that she was about to eat in disgust)

Coco

Ooh, maybe it's Carl. Oh, gross, it's my mother. (answers phone) What?! No, Mom, he hasn't called. That's right, Mom. I'm gonna grow old and die alone.

Chase

Wow, you have a horrible dorm adviser.

Chase

I have to say it, I'm a little bit embarrassed for you.

Michael

This is a sports related injury! That makes me cool!

Chase

Dude, tripping over a basketball on the way to the bathroom is not cool... (sees Quinn and Lola) Oh, hey, Quinn and Lola. What's up females?

Quinn

Oh, hey!

Chase

What have you guys been doing?

Lola

I've been watching Quinn research rats for the past three hours

Quinn

Yeah, well, you'll change your tone when I catch that rat and lock him away forever.

Michael

Uh, what rat?

Lola

(to Michael) What happened to your foot?

Michael

Oh, it's a sports related injury.

Chase

He tripped over a basketball on his way to pee.

Michael

Why do you tell people?! Why don't you just put it on the news! Hey! Where's Jeremiah Trottman? Chase has a breaking story!

Zoey

Can I say something?

Chase

Sure.

Zoey

(stands up and shouts out) I hate chemistry! Hate it! I just wanna make that clear.

Chase

Have a French fry, it'll calm you right down.

Zoey

No thanks, I'm already full. And what happened to all your talking about eating healthier food?

Chase

What? The French fry, made by the potato, a vegetable! Dipped in ketchup, made from the tomato - also a vegetable! (Stifles laugh when Zoey is eating a French fry)

Zoey

What?

Chase

You chew funny.

Zoey

(Drops the fry on Chase's tray) Goodbye. (Walks Away)

Chase

I mean good funny!

Zoey

Let’s shake on it.

Logan

Or we could kiss on it? (Zoey slaps him) We'll shake on it.

Lola

You know, most girls' biggest problems with their roommate is they borrow their clothes without asking. I've got one who loses rats, shoots me in the head with plasma bolts, and fills my room with homemade nerve gas.

Quinn

...Thanks...

Lola

Which, apparently, doesn't work too well.

Quinn

Oh! Why isn't he unconscious?!

Lola

I'm gonna go get some coffee. [she leaves]

Quinn

[to the rat] Don't you feel lightheaded?! Drowsy?! ...Oh, you are smarter than I am.

Quinn

Who cares? I've gotta go prove to my rat that no rodent can outsmart Quinn Pensky. Are ya ready for me, rat? Are you ready for a piece of Quinn?!

Oh, Zoey, you're good friends with Chase... Is his hair naturally that way or is it a perm?

Zoey

Uhh.. It's natural.

Chase

She's not dating Logan, okay? I've known her since the first day she came here to PCA and I know she'd never date a jerk like Logan!

Lola

He's one of your best friends!!

Chase

Which is how I know he's a jerk!

Lola

Aw, don't feel so bad.

Quinn

How can I not? I've been intellectually bested by an animal with a brain the size of a raisin. He won, I lost.

Lola

I don't even think the rat knew he was in a competition.

Quinn

I thought Chase was over Zoey!

Lola

So did I.

Chase

What do you mean? There was no two year crush on Zoey! Right, Michael?

Michael

(sarcastic) Yes, there was no crush, you silly people.

Lola

(to Chase about Zoey and Logan) Why do you care so much about this?

Chase

Because I'm a caring person, see?!?! (makes caring face)

Zoey

Logan?! (about being her tutor)

Logan

Like I'm thrilled about this. (being Zoey's tutor)

Zoey

(to her chemistry teacher) Logan doesn't know anything about chemistry! Logan doesn't know anything about anything!

Chase

Let's consider the other possiblities!

Michael

Am I the ONLY normal person here? (pulls out flute and starts playing)