Count Dracula quotes from Young Dracula

Count

Ingrid, remember what happened to the last daughter who challenged me!

Ingrid

I'm your ONLY daughter!

Count

You are now!

Count

What's that on your collar?

Ingrid

Nothing!

Count

(sniffing) Blood! Human blood!

Ingrid

(smugly) So, I've bitten a Breather! Guess that makes me the only real vampire in this castle after all!

You are sentenced to death by dawn.

Count

Don't you mean death at dawn?

No, he said death by dawn. We throw you outside and wait for the sunlight do it's thing.

Count

(awkwardly) Yes, I suppose that'd do it.

Vlad

Here's the plan; we run away, you two go first. While they're out looking for you, I rescue Robin. We leave the country and meet up again in Uncle Ivan's place and hide out there till the heat's off.

Count

No. Count Dracula does not run away.

Ingrid

You did last time.

Count

That was different, some of those peasants had really big pitch forks.

Robin

You've got to get out of there.

Count

(sarcastically) Oh, well done, Robin. Unfortunately this cage is made of argentalium... it drains vampire powers.

Robin

Can't you just turn into smoke or something?

Oh, he'll soon be turning into smoke.

Eurgh! Garlic perfume!

Count

I bought that for my wife.

Vlad

You were trying to kill Mum?

Count

No! Just give her a nasty rash.

Somebody and I won't mention any names thinks you're all... vampires.

Count

(laughs) Vampires?

I know, it's ridiculous.

Vlad

(to the Count) Please, don't do this.

Count

So, because we wear capes, we're vampires?

He (Graham) has an over-active imagination.

Count

Because we have a penchant for black, we're vampires? Just because we have fangs (laughs evilly) and drink blood, we ARE vampires!

Oh, my!

Graham

Somehow, saying "I told you so" isn't quite enough.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Count

I loved her, Zoltan. I know didn't always show it, but I loved her... she was the best castle I ever owned.

Vlad

He was talking about Ingrid!

No, I wasn't.

Count

Well, well, well. Look what the bat dragged in. (To Vlad) I TOLD YOU NOT TO BRING HER HERE!

Ingrid

Nice to see you too, Dad.

Ingrid

You can't have two queen bees in a hive. It'll be a fight to the death.

Count

My money's on the half-fang.

Count

Transylvanian bat vomit - does the job every time.

Vlad

(furious) You're sick and wrong!

Count

(genuinely touched) Oh... thank you, Vladdy.

Renfield

Open wide.

Ingrid

What did I ever do to you?

Count

Gloated at my execution, plotted to overthrow me, left me to die!

Ingrid

Hmmm ... that.

Vlad

I'm not doing it; clean up your own mess.

Count

I'm too busy cleaning up your mess! I have to smooth things over with Von Raculad in person.

Vlad

I only posted him to Transylvania - you garliced Goody McKeldric!

Count

There's a big difference!

Vlad

What?

Count

I didn't get caught.

Vlad

I've been training every night this week!

Count

You still haven't mastered telepathy.

Vlad

I hope you can read this... [he glares at the Count.]

Count

Actually, I can. And in answer, I seriously doubt it would fit.

Count

I knew you could do it, Vlad. Your message came through clear as a bell; "Come home now, Major A blood for tea".

Vlad

"Major emergency".

Count

Oh. That's not nearly as good.

Vlad

Right, go back to class!

Count

Stay!

Vlad

Go!

Count

Stay!

Vlad

Go!

Count

Stay!

Vlad

Stay!

Count

Go!

Vlad

You heard the man.

Count

Do you see me laughing?!