Bertrand quotes from Young Dracula

Renfield

I could wow him with my Nutcracker suite!

Bertrand

That is disturbing on so many levels.

Count

Go with her.

Bertrand

(haughtily) What, the half-fang?

Count

This is no time to be snobbish!

Ingrid

What's going on?

Bertrand

I can explain!

Vlad

Bertrand thought it would be a good idea to reduce you to a pile of ash. Then frame the Van Helsings for it so that I'd go after them.

Ingrid

Hmm, good plan. Apart from the "me" bit.

Bertrand

I thought you'd changed.

Ingrid

And I thought you were his trusted tutor. Guess we can't judge a book by its cover.

Bertrand

Evil minds think alike.

Bertrand

Look like claw marks, could be a werewolf.

It wasn't me.

Ingrid

Fangs can do that. Could be a vampire.

Still not me.

Vlad

You made a big mistake at the football match.

Malik

Oh, tell me about it. I should've headed Ryan's cross instead of going for the volley. Sorry, mate.

Bertrand

You bit your way through half the slayer team!

Malik

Oh, that mistake?

Vlad

The Slayer's Guild have given us forty-eight hours to stop attacking Breathers, otherwise the ceasefire is over.

Does this mean they don't want a rematch?

Vlad

I can revamp you! Now, who's with me?

Bertrand

"Revamp"? Really?

Vlad

I thought it was catchy. Obviously, not everyone agrees.

Bertrand

Imagine that Renfield is a bulb of garlic. Don't see a Breather. See a bulb of garlic.

Bertrand

It's working.

Renfield

You mean, you didn't know it would?!

Bertrand

Well... it was fifty-fifty.

Renfield

Fifty-fifty?!

Bertrand

Vlad ordered me to bring the murderer to justice.

Count

This murder was a classic. It would've needed a brilliant mind and a dark soul. It was a work of art, meticulously planned, ambitious, imaginative.

Bertrand

Way beyond the limited capabilities of Renfield.

Bertrand

Sorry, your Dad lost the keys.

Vlad

Well, don't stress. I'm about to be bloodbound to someone I don't love literally forever. So being roasted alive will probably be the highlight of my day!

Bertrand

Stop the ceremony! I have a just cause or impediment!

Count

No, no, no, I skipped that bit.

Bertrand

Well, go back!

Bertrand

This is insanity!

Renfield

Oooh, thank you very much.

Bertrand

There's evil, I can feel it.

Vlad

We're evil.

Bertrand

Besides us.

Vlad

I'm thirsty... I wanna get a drink.

Bertrand

Bloodthirsty?

I thought vampires didn't care about anything but themselves.

Bertrand

We both know that's not true.