Vlad quotes from Young Dracula

Vlad

Robin, I can't fall asleep again.

Robin

It's double maths after lunch, you've got no chance.

Robin

So, did I become a vampire?

Vlad

Yeah, and yes you were wearing black.

Robin

Cool!

(checking Vlad) There's nothing wrong with him.

Ingrid

You wouldn't say that if you had to live with him.

Vlad

Ok, so we're here and the staff is there. Does everyone know where to go? Let's go!

Chloe

(pointing up the stairs) It's this way.

Robin

(to Vlad) I'd go with her, she's usually right.

Robin

Eurgh! It really smells like the plague in here!

Chloe

Sort of familiar though.

Robin

Mouldy cabbage, with a hint of toe jam.

Vlad

Week old armpit sweat.

Renfield!

Vlad

Ingrid, wait!

Ingrid

What?

Vlad

I just wanna say... goodbye.

Ingrid

I'm only gonna be in there two minutes.

Vlad

I know it's just... when Boris went... he came back selfish and evil...

Ingrid

But I'm already selfish and evil.

Robin

Vlad, shouldn't a vampire be chasing us?

Vlad

But she's not a vampire, are you, Ingrid? You didn't go through with the transformation.

Ingrid

If you breathe a word of this to anyone I'll... well, I can't bite you, but I'll do something evil!

Robin

I don't get it. I thought you had to transform.

Vlad

I thought so, too. But there's a way out of it, isn't there?

None whatsoever!

Ingrid

Run!

Vlad

Look, you don't understand. So we come from Transylvania and live in a spooky old castle, but that doesn't mean we're vampires!

Vlad

(slowly) Mr. Branagh?

I just thought he was hunting without a license.

Vlad

Ah...

Vlad

Who appointed you judge, jury and executioner?

My card...

Vlad

(reading it) "Justice Moroi; judge, jury and executioner"...

Any more questions?

Ingrid

Yeah, do I get a front row seat?

Vlad

Ingrid!

Ingrid

Alright, do we ALL get front row seats?

For your own father's execution? Of course you do!

Vlad

Here's the plan; we run away, you two go first. While they're out looking for you, I rescue Robin. We leave the country and meet up again in Uncle Ivan's place and hide out there till the heat's off.

Count

No. Count Dracula does not run away.

Ingrid

You did last time.

Count

That was different, some of those peasants had really big pitch forks.

Renfield

... and when I got back, the helmet was gone.

Robin

Then what happened?

Vlad

Someone stole it.

Robin

(points at Moroi.) Pretending to be him...

... and murdered the Grand High Vampire.

Ingrid

Cool!

Eurgh! Garlic perfume!

Count

I bought that for my wife.

Vlad

You were trying to kill Mum?

Count

No! Just give her a nasty rash.

Vlad

Could I really be the Chosen One?

Robin

You're a rubbish vampire. There's no way it's you.

Vlad

Thanks, Robin.

Somebody and I won't mention any names thinks you're all... vampires.

Count

(laughs) Vampires?

I know, it's ridiculous.

Vlad

(to the Count) Please, don't do this.

Count

So, because we wear capes, we're vampires?

He (Graham) has an over-active imagination.

Count

Because we have a penchant for black, we're vampires? Just because we have fangs (laughs evilly) and drink blood, we ARE vampires!

Oh, my!

Graham

Somehow, saying "I told you so" isn't quite enough.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Count

I loved her, Zoltan. I know didn't always show it, but I loved her... she was the best castle I ever owned.

Vlad

He was talking about Ingrid!

No, I wasn't.

Ingrid

You got old.

Vlad

You got sick.

Ingrid

I can look after myself.

Vlad

Yeah? Then why'd you leave Stokely?

Ingrid

I got bored.

Vlad

You got burnt.