Vlad quotes from Young Dracula

Vlad

Unless you want us driven out of town again... I suggest we make friends with the slayers.

Count

Friends?! Vampires and slayers can never be friends. We're opposites; sun and moon, night and day, stake and...

Renfield

(holding up a bag) Chips? Anyone?

Vlad

It'll be dark in a minute and Dad will fly off and kill Van Helsing.

Ingrid

And...

Vlad

We have to stop him!

Ingrid

Have you got sunstroke?! Biting slayers is one of the perks of being a vampire. That and looking great in black.

Vlad

I don't believe this! You said living blood-free was our best chance!

Count

There was no blood-free, it was a fantasy, a delusion, a pathetic dream. Tell them, Ivan!

He's right. This is sensational, I haven't felt this undead in years! There's only one way for us to live... UP TO OUR EYES IN BLOOD!

Vlad

(to Boris) Don't you understand? If we kill our Dads we're more evil than any vampire.

Ingrid

Good point.

Count Dracula

Vlad, Boris, Olga... the other one, what's going on?

Ingrid

Hello, Daddy. And goodbye!

Vlad

No, NO!

AAARGGHH! You've turned me into a Breather!

Ingrid

And I've killed your Dad.

Yeah, whatever.

Count Dracula

Slain by my own daughter! You're so grounded!

Daddy, how much longer is this going to take?

Depends on how much of a fight he puts up.

Vlad

Fight? No one said anything about a fight.

Count

Well, if he's strong it could take all day. But if he's a pathetic, spineless little wimp then...

Ingrid

Well, that answers that!

Vlad

You mean he's... he's dead?

Robin

Congratulations! Or not. What did I miss?

Ingrid

Nothing much. Oh, I broke a nail... and Boris is dead.

Ingrid

That's my diary!

Vlad

I'd hate to be the one to show you this, Dad.

Count

(Reading from Ingrid's diary) "My old Dad's a vampire, he wears a vampire cloak... but no one's really scared of him they think he's just a joke..." Ingrid!

Ingrid

But I didn't write that.

Count

(Reading again) "He's getting old and past it and it's very plain to see... his hair is going grey, his fangs are false and his cardigan smells of wee!" I do not wear cardigans!

Ingrid

(to Vlad) And that's not my handwriting!

Count

That is no excuse!

Count

(furiously) You gave her the antidote?!

Ingrid

(To Robin and Vlad) That's right, boys! I'm back!

Vlad

Run!

Count

I have some midnight hunting to do!

Ingrid

Off to nibble some sheep again, are we Daddy?

Count

SHEEP?! How dare you! I am the Prince of Darkness! I...

Vlad

Well, just make sure the farmer doesn't catch you this time.

Vlad

Mum's pregnant?! How did this happen?!

Ingrid

Well, when a Mummy and Daddy love each other they make a special wish for a baby!

Count

Ladies and gentlemen, let me present my new son... Vladimir.

Vlad

Vladimir?! But... that's my name!

Count

Curses, what was the other one?

Barry.

Count

Barry...

Vlad

What? You're gonna call him Barry?

Count

No, that would be stupid... we'll call you Barry.

Count

Arise, my son and heir! Barry Dracula.

Vlad

Oh, very funny!

Vlad

Ingrid, do you ever have weird dreams?

Ingrid

Only a recurring one where annoying geek of a brother keeps asking me stupid questions.

Ingrid

You don't get to go to the dream world until you're sixteen.

Vlad

What dream world?

Ingrid

The place vampires go when they sleep, bat brain! If you're slain there you die for real.

Robin

That's not good news.

Vlad

What if there's an evil vampire in my blood after all?

Robin

(amused) Vlad, you still sleep with a teddy bear, dream on!