Clay quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

The Falcon's Eye gives one the ability to see through solid objects.

Even through Clay?

Clay

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

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[Back at the Xiaolin temple, Omi is punished to clean a huge pile of dirty dishes for disobeying Master Fung's order of using the Ring of the Nine Dragons]

I want them spotless, Omi. Spotless. [holds up a brush and gives him a sharped scowl]

[sadly understanding] Yes, Master. [takes the brush] Spotless.

[Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay watch from outside the kitchen]

I will inspect your work in one hour. [leaves the kitchen, slamming the door shut]

[Omi looks at his reflection in all the dishes with sadness, representing his clones]

Wow, I've never seen Master Fung so upset.

Clay

He looked as mad as a beaver in a petrified forest.

Master Fung is right to be angry (with me). [starts getting to work] I have acted most shamefully. Because of my disobedience, we still only have one Shen Gong Wu.

Yeah, true. [Kimiko angrily nudges him in the arm] Ow! What?! I'm just agreeing with what he said. Besides, maybe it's better this way.

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[holding Clay's hat as Raimundo fills it up with milk] Are you sure Clay wants us to do this?

Of course. Remember, if the hat doesn't hold ten gallons, he gets to return it for a free one.

But why does it have to be milk?

Cowboys, cow milk.

Milk comes from cows, too? We get ours from mountain goats here.

Clay

Hey, fellas. [shocked in outrage when he sees what's going on] Huh?!

Only a nine-and-a-half gallons. You get a free hat!

Clay

[angrily] Raimundo!

Think fast! [tosses the filled hat of milk at a furious Clay who then chases him around the room] Hey, what's one hat compared to your best friend Raimundo's life?

Clay

[enraged] You are Texas toast, Rai!

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[cringing] What... did I just land in?

Clay

That would be a cow pie.

No! I know pies! Pies have cherry, or apple, or rhubarb! THIS IS NO PIE!

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Omi, please tell Clay that he's blocking my light.

Clay, I have a message from-

Clay

Omi, tell Kimiko that I'll cast my shadow wherever I darn well please.

Kimiko, Clay responds-

Tell Clay that maybe his shadow wasn't so fat and huge.

Clay, Kim-

Omi, tell Kimiko and Clay that they're both… [head enlarges; agitated] GIVING ME A HEADACHE!

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My friends! Hearing the sound of your voices again will give me tremendous pleasure.

Omi!

Clay

Run!

It's a trap!

That did not give me as much pleasure as I had hoped.

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We got the Serpent's Tail, the Orb of Tornami…

Clay

The Longi Kite…

And the Tongue of Saiping, which I do not recommend touching.

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Jack Spicer

Smell ya later, losers! [Tries to fly off but has his foot caught in a lasso]

Clay

You'll smell us NOW, ya dirty snake!

Smell us now?

Clay's villain taunting needs some serious work.

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Now what? We just camp out here and wait?

How 'bout we "sing songs"? Or-or tell "ghost stories"? Or ah..oh, oh, oh, oh! I know. S'mores!

Mala Mala Jong could be attacking the temple right now! We should be fighting with Master Fung!

Master Fung ordered us to guard the Shen Gong Wu.

But...

All we can do is formulate a plan to defeat Mala Mala Jong in case...

Clay

Master Fung fails.

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So, that's the way it's gonna be, huh?

You tell us, Raimundo.

Clay

You can always drop the Shen Gong Wu and leave.

Nah, I'm up for a Xiaolin slap down.

Raimundo, I am starting to think you are not enacting some sort of SECRET ELABORATE PLAN.

Nothin' escapes you, Omi.

Not even you!

Wrong.

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[After Raimundo escapes the Xiaolin temple by stealing the Serpent's Tail…]

[heartbroken] Raimundo really has betrayed us.

Raimundo stole our Shen Gong Wu? This is most troubling.

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, put a padlock on this thing!

Clay

There's a bright side. He only rustled up one… the Serpent's Tail.

Why would Raimundo take just one Shen Gong Wu?

Because that one Shen Gong Wu is all Wuya needs.

Is the Serpent's Tail really all that?

You got that ominous thing going on. Care to spill the beans?

On its own, the Serpent's Tail is no great threat, it makes a solid person ghostly.

But combined with Reversing Mirror...

It would turn a ghostly person solid!

CKClay & Kimiko

Wuya!

Precisely.

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This is bad. Very, very bad.

If I had hair, it would be standing on end.

If I had boots, I'd be quaking in them.

Clay

Wanna borrow mine?

No thanks. No feet.

[Wuya cackles evilly as she has been revived to her solid body]

Wuya?

In the flesh.

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You...You...YOU!...

Clay

Doofus?

[to Clay] Thank you. [to Jack] YOU DOOFUS! You trapped Omi in the past forever!

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Delicious. My domination of the world is now...complete.

Uh, Wuya? You might wanna do head count. You're short one, Omi.

Omi? [gasps, poof] Where's Omi?

Clay

Frankly, It's none of your business, Ma'am.

Oh, as they say I have ways to making you talk.

He's trapped in a past!

What?

Yeah. He traveled back in time as some guy named Dashi for help!

Omi's in a past?

Yes. And now he's trapped there!

And it was me who sent him back, Wuya! I was really on your side all the way! Stupid Omi walked right in to our trap! WOO-HOO! You can let me go now.

Forget it, Jack. I'm not buying it.

Really? Even if I whimper? [whimpers]

Omi's really trapped in the past?

We'll never see him again, thanks to you!

And I hope you feel guilty about it.

Clay

Yeah, nice going, you two-faced fink.

I...I never wanted anything happen to you guys, I...I just wanted my due.

And now you're got it, Raimundo. To the dungeon with them!

Wait, wait! Wuya. What if these guys. You know swear loyalty to you. Maybe they could sort a live the the palace? With me?

If, they swear their loyalty.

C'mon, guys! You won't believe the stuff she's got video games, racecars, speed boats...

Sold! You can let me go now.

The offer's not for you, Jack.

Buy, you really hold the grudge.

Guys, Wuya rules the whole world. So, c'mon, join the winning team already. What do you say?

What do we say? How about...DREAM ON!

Clay': I'd sooner kiss the backside of a mule.

[offscreen] Forget it!

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What's the matter, Rai? You look pretty bored for a guy who rules the world.

What are you doing here!? Did you decide to join me?

Clay

Nope. Still rather kiss the backside of a mule.

We escaped, Raimundo. So be cool and let us go.

Or be a loser and come after us.

Better run, 'cause I'm coming after you.

Have it your way.

C'mon. We got some former friends to catch.