Jack Spicer quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

Raimundo

It’s a what now?

A Xiaolin Showdown. It’s what happens when two warriors reach a stalemate over a Shen Gong Wu. Two words: Freak-y.

Omi

Jack Spicer, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! I wager my Two-Ton Tunic against your Mantis Flip Coin. Whoever reaches the last stone first wins the Eye of Dashi. And the other Shen Gong Wu as well.

Accept the challenge. Accept it!

Jack

I accept your challenge, Omi.

Omi

Let’s go! Xiaolin Showdown!

Omi

The battle is over, Spicer! You lost.

Jack

Whatever shall we do?

Perhaps they should meet our new friend, Le Mime.

Kimiko

[chuckles] You brought a mime?

Raimundo

What are you gonna do, annoy us to death?

Kimiko

[believing the box is imaginary] Look at him, he's pretending to put us inside a box. [laughs] So lame. [sarcastically] Oh, no! We are trapped! We can not get out!

Omi

Very silly. I- [hits his head on an invisible solid wall] Hey.

Raimundo

[hits his head as well] Oh! There is a wall here.

Kimiko

Uh, guys? We really are trapped!

Jack

You kids have fun. We're off to get the Fist of Tebigong.

Jack

Clay, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!

Clay

Name your game, Jack.

Jack

[spots an Indian blue robin bird] That robin. First one to catch it wins.

Omi

Ohh! Catch a robin?

Clay

Okay, Jack, I accept your challenge.

Ohh!

Jack

Sucker!

Let's go, Xiaolin Showdown!

Kimiko

[clutching her stomach; dizzily] Still not used to that.

Jack

Ready, cowboy?

Clay

Ready as I'll ever be.

GONG YI TANPAI!

Jack

[using the Jetbootsu to walk up the mountain] You know this a showdown, right, Kimiko?

Kimiko

You maybe those boots make you look like a dweeb, right, Jack?

Jack Spicer

Standard for my folk’s parties. Snobfest a-go-go.

So, are you Jack? the kid they’re all talking about upstairs?

Jack Spicer

[Perking up hopefully] They’re talking about me?! Are they calling me a genius?!

More like “weirdo”

Jack Spicer

WHAT’S SO WEIRD ABOUT ME?!

Jack Spicer

Stay out of this Ashley.

My evil name's Katnappe, doofus.

Jack Spicer

Who you calling' doofus, Kitty Litter?

Who you calling' Kitty Litter, Robo-freak?

Enough! Cease your bickering.

Jack

Uh-huh, hmm. So, Mr. Tubbimura, tell us about yourself. Why should Jack Spicer, evil incorporated, hire you?

[Bowing] Hai. Well, er, I have, as you can see, extensive experience wreaking havoc and destruction.

Jack

Yeah not really looking for H and D.

Er, I also have solid grasp of mayhem.

Mayhem is good.

Jack

There's always a need for mayhem.

Jack

Oh, I'm leaving alright, and you're coming with me!

Kimiko

Oh, really, who's gonna make me?

You have done well, Jack Spicer.

Jack

Evil Genius well?

Don't ruin the moment.

Jack

Sorry.

Jack

Any idea where we're going?

No, but I could always glide through the walls and peek ahead.

Jack

[nervously unsure] Uh… N-not a good idea.

Why? You're not afraid of the dark, are you?

Jack

Me? Jack Spicer, evil boy genius, afraid of the dark? Don't be ridiculous.

Clay, I reckon you've been a man longer than I realized.

Jack

[To Wuya] How come we don't have a relationship like that?

I'm not your mommy! Now pick up your toys Jackie, and let's go home.

Jack Spicer

Technically, you don't sweat either but you still manage to put off some serious B.O., sister.

I'm surprised you can smell anything considering how often you have you little fingers up your nostrils!

Jack

Don't make me bust you up, little man. [Omi makes his signature water move, making him run away, screaming]

Wait! Where do you think you're going?! [goes after him] GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!

Let me guess…you're downloading more of your vapid hippity-hop music.

Jack Spicer

[imitates buzzer] I'm working up a Shen Gong Wu spreadsheet so we can know who has what. Check it. We have the Eye of Dashi, they have the Tongue of Saiping. We have the Third Arm Sash, they've got the Longi Kite. And those really cool Golden Tiger Claws… Omi sent them to the Earth's core, so nobody has them. How do I file that one?

I don't need a scorekeeper! I need someone who will retrieve the Shen Gong Wu and waist time with- wait! I am sensing a new Shen Gong Wu! [gasps] It is the most important of them all. The Heart of Jong!

Jack Spicer

Smell ya later, losers! [Tries to fly off but has his foot caught in a lasso]

Clay

You'll smell us NOW, ya dirty snake!

Kimiko

Smell us now?

Raimundo

Clay's villain taunting needs some serious work.