Two-Headed Dojo quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

The Fancy Feet is no ordinary Wu. Whoever possesses the Wu can move faster than anything in the world. It's quiet handy when chasing an evil doer, or running away from a bully half your size.

You're...sending...me...away!?

The Kuzusu Atom is a most dangerous Wu. Whoever possesses it can vaporize his enemies at will. It's also pretty nifty for cleaning your room when you forget to pick up after yourself.

[stuffed on cookies; thinking] I never should have got into those cookies. [belches] Oh, that hurts.

Raimundo

Right. Like we're gonna take directions from a gecko.

Gecko!? Don't ever call me gecko!

Raimundo

Eh, my mistakes.

Raimundo

It’s a what now?

A Xiaolin Showdown. It’s what happens when two warriors reach a stalemate over a Shen Gong Wu. Two words: Freak-y.

Omi

Jack Spicer, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! I wager my Two-Ton Tunic against your Mantis Flip Coin. Whoever reaches the last stone first wins the Eye of Dashi. And the other Shen Gong Wu as well.

Accept the challenge. Accept it!

Jack

I accept your challenge, Omi.

Omi

Let’s go! Xiaolin Showdown!

You have all done exceptionally well. Wouldn’t you agree, Dojo?

Not bad, for amateurs.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.

Where do you get this stuff?

I have a desk calendar.

Omi

Master Fung, there are so many Shen Gong Wu left to be found.

Your new friends will help.

Omi

Oh, yes, master. I have already taught much to Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay.

But, Omi, they are here to teach you.

Omi

But I am the chosen one.

You aren’t the only chosen one, Omi. Someday your new friends may become Dragons, as well. Kimiko, the Dragon of Fire. Clay, the Dragon of Earth. And Raimundo, the Dragon of the Wind.

Omi

Is this true, master?

Yes, but I didn’t want to tell you until you were ready.

Clay

I don’t think he was ready.

Ooh, that Fist of Tebigong must be close, 'cause I'm getting a wicked case of Shen Gong Wu rash! Yeah, it kinda itches here, but it's more burny down there, and behind the my tail I've got this unsightly cracking. I mean it, it's ooh.

Kimiko

I meant with the location of the Shen Gong Wu!

[shivering] This water's cold. I'm tellin' ya, I don't know how my cousin, Nessie, stands living here! 'Course, if you ask me, she likes all the attention! "Hey, look! It's the Loch Ness Monster!"

[offscreen] Hey, look! It's the Loch Ness Monster!

See?

Omi

The Golden Tiger Claws are inside that palace?

That's what this rash is telling me. Ohhh. Wonder if there's an ointment for this? Ahhhh-hhhh!

Raimundo

How do we get in there?

Clay

Maybe if we knock on the door and ask real nice like?

That's the Emperor Palace. They don't just let anybody in there. We need connections!

Kimiko

Oh, no worries. I'll call my dad.

See you, Xiaolin Warriors. I've got more shopping to do. Me-ow!

Except for the parts where she slapped us silly and got away, I think that went pretty well.

[with a stuffy red nose; nasally] I got good news and bad news. [unveils the Shen Gong Wu Scroll] The good news is another Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself. The bad news is… [sneezes] The bad news is this is what makes me sneeze.

Raimundo

[wipes the soot off his pants] No, the bad news is I don't have fireproof pants.

[aggrivated] Oh, thanks. Very supportive. [sneezes again]

Omi

Ah, the Sword of the Storm. I've studied this particular Shen Gong Wu for many years. There are things of which you must be aware when using this wind Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo

[thinking] Oh, man. This dude can talk. Get to the point already.

Omi

Once, a knowledgeable warrior can blah the Sword of the blah, blah, blah. It is all blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Raimundo

Hey, Dojo. What's shakin'?

Me! A new Shen Gong Wu just activated!

The Ring of the Nine Dragons makes one warrior into as many as nine.

Omi

Nine different places at one time? Ooh, that would be most helpful!

Kimiko

At this point, any Shen Gong Wu would be helpful.

Raimundo

True. We've only got one left.

Clay

Thanks to that dirty snake, Jack Spicer.

Raimundo

[disgusted by the smell] Ohh! That's rank, yo!

Omi

The volcano's odor is most stinky. [to Dojo] Are you sure you smell a Shen Gong Wu?

Pssh. Does Clay wear his boots to bed?

Kimiko

Eww.

Raimundo

[sees the black dragon Wu through binoculars] There it is! But what is it?

Omi

We would already know…

Raimundo

[glares at Kimiko] If someone didn't forget to bring the Ancient Scroll of the Shen Gong Wu.

Kimiko

I told you I was sorry.

Omi

You allowed the painting of smiley faces on your fingernails to distract you from your duties!

Kimiko

Panda faces, hello?

Raimundo

Meanwhile, back at the volcano, are we gonna bag this Wu or what?

So, that's it. Harmless bauble once again?

Omi

The Sapphire Dragon shall trouble us no more.