Two-Headed Dojo quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

Maybe I can be the dragon of…FIRE!

Kimiko

Sorry, position's filled.

Then how 'bout soot?

Raimundo

Soot? Not impressive.

And this is comin' from the wind guy? Ooh! How 'bout gas, huh? I eat a few cans o' beans and BAM! I'm in, baby!

Kimiko

Dojo, anything you can do here?

Eh...uh, gee guys. I-I-I'm not big on trains. A-and that third rail really chafes.

Kimiko

Dojo!

Okay, okay.

Oh! Three Shen Gong Wu! No, wait!

[blubbering] This is ridiculous! It's not three, [stammering] but…

Four! Four Shen Gong Wu activating at the same time!

Kimiko

Now what? We just camp out here and wait?

How 'bout we "sing songs"? Or-or tell "ghost stories"? Or ah..oh, oh, oh, oh! I know. S'mores!

Raimundo

Mala Mala Jong could be attacking the temple right now! We should be fighting with Master Fung!

Omi

Master Fung ordered us to guard the Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo

But...

Omi

All we can do is formulate a plan to defeat Mala Mala Jong in case...

Clay

Master Fung fails.

Omi

[heartbroken] Raimundo really has betrayed us.

Raimundo stole our Shen Gong Wu? This is most troubling.

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, put a padlock on this thing!

Clay

There's a bright side. He only rustled up one… the Serpent's Tail.

Omi

Why would Raimundo take just one Shen Gong Wu?

Because that one Shen Gong Wu is all Wuya needs.

Kimiko

Is the Serpent's Tail really all that?

You got that ominous thing going on. Care to spill the beans?

On its own, the Serpent's Tail is no great threat, it makes a solid person ghostly.

But combined with Reversing Mirror...

Omi

It would turn a ghostly person solid!

Wuya!

Precisely.

Kimiko

This is bad. Very, very bad.

Omi

If I had hair, it would be standing on end.

If I had boots, I'd be quaking in them.

Clay

Wanna borrow mine?

No thanks. No feet.

Omi

Wuya?

In the flesh.

Hah! The joke's on you Wuya! You broke the Reversing Mirror. Seven years bad luck! In, your, face!

Actually, since its the Reversing Mirror, its seven years good luck.

Ooh, hadn't thought of that. Crud.

Omi

I am most confused. If you were just going to give me the pebble, why make me go through the whole Showdown?

Two reasons. One, it was funny.

True.

Two, to teach you something.

Crush them.

[girly shriek] A retreat might be in order, here!

Delicious. My domination of the world is now...complete.

Raimundo

Uh, Wuya? You might wanna do head count. You're short one, Omi.

Omi? [gasps, poof] Where's Omi?

Clay

Frankly, It's none of your business, Ma'am.

Oh, as they say I have ways to making you talk.

Jack

He's trapped in a past!

Raimundo

What?

Jack

Yeah. He traveled back in time as some guy named Dashi for help!

Omi's in a past?

Kimiko

Yes. And now he's trapped there!

Jack

And it was me who sent him back, Wuya! I was really on your side all the way! Stupid Omi walked right in to our trap! WOO-HOO! You can let me go now.

Forget it, Jack. I'm not buying it.

Jack

Really? Even if I whimper? [whimpers]

Raimundo

Omi's really trapped in the past?

Kimiko

We'll never see him again, thanks to you!

And I hope you feel guilty about it.

Clay

Yeah, nice going, you two-faced fink.

Raimundo

I...I never wanted anything happen to you guys, I...I just wanted my due.

And now you're got it, Raimundo. To the dungeon with them!

Raimundo

Wait, wait! Wuya. What if these guys. You know swear loyalty to you. Maybe they could sort a live the the palace? With me?

If, they swear their loyalty.

Raimundo

C'mon, guys! You won't believe the stuff she's got video games, racecars, speed boats...

Jack

Sold! You can let me go now.

The offer's not for you, Jack.

Jack

Buy, you really hold the grudge.

Raimundo

Guys, Wuya rules the whole world. So, c'mon, join the winning team already. What do you say?

Kimiko

What do we say? How about...DREAM ON!

[offscreen] Forget it!

Kimiko

What's the matter, Rai? You look pretty bored for a guy who rules the world.

Raimundo

What are you doing here!? Did you decide to join me?

Clay

Nope. Still rather kiss the backside of a mule.

Kimiko

We escaped, Raimundo. So be cool and let us go.

Or be a loser and come after us.

Raimundo

Better run, 'cause I'm coming after you.

Kimiko

Have it your way.

Raimundo

C'mon. We got some former friends to catch.

Looks like the first of the Shen Gong Wu just popped.

Kimiko

It says the Crystal Glasses allow(s) the wearer to see into the future.

Omi

I already know my future. I will be the most wise and powerful and swiftest of all Xiaolin dragons!

Raimundo

You left out modest.

Omi

[scratching Dojo's rash with the Fist of Tebigong] I do not think the Fist of Tebigong was meant for this purpose.

Ohhh, yeah! Yeah, right there. Ohh, yeah.

Kimiko

[disgusted] Eww! Let's hope the rest of those Shen Gong Wu reveal themselves before you run out of scales.

Clay

You okay down there, partner?

Omi

Oh, yes! Dojo's earwax is most convenient! But I do wish I had a better view. Ah, that is much better!

Better hope I don't sneeze!

Omi

Nooo, you have very clean sinuses! I thank you!

[as Master Fung] Omi, it is Master Fung. Dojo is holding me prisoner!

Omi

No. I do not believe you! [eats an eggroll]

[as a sad little girl; crying] Please let me out. I'm lost! [cries]

Omi

No! No, I cannot!

[as a mother version of Omi] Omi, this is your mother speaking. You open that door this instant!

Omi

Dojo, you are merely wasting your efforts. Besides, I am an orphan.

[as Omi] Omi, it's Omi. You've got to let me out!

Omi

[irritated] Oh, this is now getting most ridiculous!

Raimundo

Maybe we should just take the Shen Gong Wu and leave.

It will not matter where or how far we travel… Dojo will find us.

Omi

As always, Master Fung is most wise. An honorable warrior would stay and… [Two-Headed Dojo flies over the Shen Gong Wu vault] Fight?

Kimiko

He does know how to make an entrance.

I got me a powerful craving for some Shen Gong Wu. One stomach and two mouths to feed!