Omi quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

Omi

What is that? Is it magic?

Kimiko

It's a PDA. I'm sending a message to a friend in Tokyo.

Omi

A secret message?

Kimiko

Nah. I'm just telling her I met a very strange kid who apparently doesn't know about personal space issues.

Omi

Really? Who? [Points at Clay] Is it that guy?

Clay

Not me, partner.

Raimundo

It's you, chrome dome.

Omi

YAAH! MY LITTLE FRIEND HAS BEEN TAKEN BY THE DARK FORCES OF EVIL! [to the game] Po-chi are you in there?!Can you hear the sound of my voice?!

Kimiko

Don't mess with the monk!

Raimundo

[Grimacing] Girl, you hit hard!

Raimundo

It’s a what now?

A Xiaolin Showdown. It’s what happens when two warriors reach a stalemate over a Shen Gong Wu. Two words: Freak-y.

Omi

Jack Spicer, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! I wager my Two-Ton Tunic against your Mantis Flip Coin. Whoever reaches the last stone first wins the Eye of Dashi. And the other Shen Gong Wu as well.

Accept the challenge. Accept it!

Jack

I accept your challenge, Omi.

Omi

Let’s go! Xiaolin Showdown!

You have all done exceptionally well. Wouldn’t you agree, Dojo?

Not bad, for amateurs.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.

Where do you get this stuff?

I have a desk calendar.

Omi

Master Fung, there are so many Shen Gong Wu left to be found.

Your new friends will help.

Omi

Oh, yes, master. I have already taught much to Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay.

But, Omi, they are here to teach you.

Omi

But I am the chosen one.

You aren’t the only chosen one, Omi. Someday your new friends may become Dragons, as well. Kimiko, the Dragon of Fire. Clay, the Dragon of Earth. And Raimundo, the Dragon of the Wind.

Omi

Is this true, master?

Yes, but I didn’t want to tell you until you were ready.

Clay

I don’t think he was ready.

Raimundo

You knew you couldn't beat us with your old man kung fu.

Omi

[laughing hysterically] Raimundo mocks Clay's Tai Chi by calling it "old man kung fu!" He implies Clay is like an old man doing kung fu!

Omi

I foolishly and shamefully lost a quarter second on the sandbags. As you might say, I smell bad.

Raimundo

I stink, not I smell bad.

Omi

I stink?

Raimundo

Yeah, and you smell bad, too. [laughs]

Raimundo

Dibs on the Eye of Dashi!

Omi

No! You cannot have it! You do not know what it will do!

Raimundo

Sure I do, it's supposed to shoot lightning or something. Besides, I called it.

Omi

But I won it in the showdown! I should be the first to use it!

Fighting over a Shen Gong Wu? Are you two trying to start a Xiaolin Showdown?

Omi

Master Fung, please decide which (one) of us should take the Eye of Dashi.

Hmm. It should go to the winner of the obstacle course challenge

Omi

In your head, Raimundo!

Raimundo

In your face.

Omi

Talk to my fingers!

I didn't mean you, Omi. Clay was the fastest.

Omi

[not believing it; shocked] WHAT?! But he…

Use it well.

Clay

Much obliged, Master Fung, sir.

The Mantis Flip Coin and the Two-Ton Tunic.

Raimundo

Yeah, yeah, all right.

Kimiko

Thank you, Master Fung.

Omi

[upset] I get no Shen Gong Wu?

Omi

The battle is over, Spicer! You lost.

Jack

Whatever shall we do?

Perhaps they should meet our new friend, Le Mime.

Kimiko

[chuckles] You brought a mime?

Raimundo

What are you gonna do, annoy us to death?

Kimiko

[believing the box is imaginary] Look at him, he's pretending to put us inside a box. [laughs] So lame. [sarcastically] Oh, no! We are trapped! We can not get out!

Omi

Very silly. I- [hits his head on an invisible solid wall] Hey.

Raimundo

[hits his head as well] Oh! There is a wall here.

Kimiko

Uh, guys? We really are trapped!

Jack

You kids have fun. We're off to get the Fist of Tebigong.

Omi

He cannot hear us.

Kimiko

He thinks we're playing charades.

Raimundo

Fine. I got a charade for him.

Jack

Clay, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!

Clay

Name your game, Jack.

Jack

[spots an Indian blue robin bird] That robin. First one to catch it wins.

Omi

Ohh! Catch a robin?

Clay

Okay, Jack, I accept your challenge.

Ohh!

Jack

Sucker!

Let's go, Xiaolin Showdown!

Kimiko

[clutching her stomach; dizzily] Still not used to that.

Jack

Ready, cowboy?

Clay

Ready as I'll ever be.

GONG YI TANPAI!

Raimundo

So, Clay? Can I give the Eye of Dashi a try?

Clay

Sure thing, Raimundo.

Omi

What? Why? I should try it before you. I found it.

Raimundo

Your snooze, your lose!

Omi

Then perhaps, I'll try the Fist of Tebigong on your head!

Kimiko

Guys, knock it off! Or I'll Third Arm Sash your mouths shut!

Omi

Yuck! This candy tastes most unpleasant!

Raimundo

That 'cause it's lipstick.

Omi

I am very surprised Kimiko can lift such a heavy pot with her delicate female arms.

Kimiko

[angry] WHAT!?!?

Omi

The Golden Tiger Claws are inside that palace?

That's what this rash is telling me. Ohhh. Wonder if there's an ointment for this? Ahhhh-hhhh!

Raimundo

How do we get in there?

Clay

Maybe if we knock on the door and ask real nice like?

That's the Emperor Palace. They don't just let anybody in there. We need connections!

Kimiko

Oh, no worries. I'll call my dad.

[with a stuffy red nose; nasally] I got good news and bad news. [unveils the Shen Gong Wu Scroll] The good news is another Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself. The bad news is… [sneezes] The bad news is this is what makes me sneeze.

Raimundo

[wipes the soot off his pants] No, the bad news is I don't have fireproof pants.

[aggrivated] Oh, thanks. Very supportive. [sneezes again]

Omi

Ah, the Sword of the Storm. I've studied this particular Shen Gong Wu for many years. There are things of which you must be aware when using this wind Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo

[thinking] Oh, man. This dude can talk. Get to the point already.

Omi

Once, a knowledgeable warrior can blah the Sword of the blah, blah, blah. It is all blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.