Justin Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Oh my gosh! Bailey?! She's choking! She's choking! Dr. Fossil, help her! You're a doctor!

Justin

I don't know how to save her!

What kind of doctor doesn't know how to save a person's life?!

Justin

Look, I was going to tell you-

Tell me what? That you're not a very smart doctor?!

Alex

Bailey! (gives Bailey abdominal thrusts and Bailey stops choking) Bailey, are you okay?

Yes, thank you! (hugs Alex)

You just saved her life. What's your name again?

Alex

Ashley Simpson!

Justin

I used magic to add 5 extra minutes to my break schedule. So now when I take my break, it'll be for 25 minutes at a time.

Alex

(Stares at him in disbelief, then shakes her head.) You used MAGIC to do this? (Wipes off a "0" on the white board and writes a "5".) Ugh, Justin! You could have used magic to, I don't know, stop time, freeze Mom and Dad so they couldn't find you, create an alternate universe where you and Juliet could date for like a year but it would only be one minute of our time. Something big and magical!

Justin

I also used it to grow 2 inches.

Alex

You are a WizIDIOT!

Max

(inside a giant Jack-o-Lantern) You're probably jealous because I moved out of the house before you did. Tell Mommy and Daddy I said "Hi", loser!

Justin

Okay. I'll tell them. (turns to the house) Hey Mom, Dad; the kid living in the Jack-o-Lantern thinks I'm the loser!

Justin

Hi, dad. You must have noticed how down I was and wanted to come talk.

Jerry

No, we need the table.

Alex

No, I know you can sing. I'm just saying, do you really want to do it in front of all of those people? Staring right up at you? Waving their cellphones, taking your picture? Putting it on the internet for people to see over and over and over again, so people can watch it for years and years and years?

Justin

No, it's gonna-it's gonna be great. Because after that, I'm going to ask her to go steady with me.

Alex

(scoffs) Go steady? Whose prom are you going to, grandpa's?

Alex

So that's where the fliers went.

Max

Yes! Zombies are coming man! Don't worry, I already locked the doors. Nobody can get in, and we can't get out.

(mad at Max for being an idiot) Did you at least find the No Fear Ring? I could really use it right now.

Alex

Harper has it. That's why she's standing up to the zombies.

Justin

[Referring to their aunt] Well we're gonna have to find a way to get her back here so she can retake the test!

Jerry

Well, the problem is nobody knows where she is!

Justin

Well we're gonna have to find her then!

Max

[Stands up] I have a magnifying glass, will that help?

Justin

[Looks to his dad than back] She's not tiny!

Max

You said she was an ant!

Alex

(making a prank call) Excuse me but is your refrigerator running?

Alex, I know it's you. I can see Kelbo's wand number on my caller ID.

Alex

Guys, she's on to us!

Justin

We forgot to dial pound, horse, unicorn!

Alex

What do we do?!

Uncle Kelbo

What we always do! Run! (pushes Max and Justin and runs)

Alex

You turned in your girlfriend into the Monster Hunter Council!

Justin

What? (laughs)

Juliet

(walks in)

Justin

Oh no.

Juliet

Hey! Who wants to see me empty a calzone?

Alex

Well, you know what they say. When you love somebody, set them free. And if they really love you, they’ll come back.

Justin

Not unless they're a mind slave to a mummy.

Harper

(calls her mom) Mom, you were right! They did ask! Okay, bye! (hangs up) She said yes! Group hug!

(shocked that Harper manipulated them)

Justin

You and your mom manipulated us! Looks like you are part of this family. (Everyone leaves except Alex.)

Alex

Mason, you haven't stopped staring at Juliet since we found her.

Mason

Juliet, I didn't know we were looking for you. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU!

Alex

(gasps) Oh my gosh! What are you doing?!

Mason

I don't know!

Alex

Can't you see the way I feel about you?

Mason

Alex, I'm sorry! Something just came over me!

Alex

(takes off the necklace) I never want to see you again! (throws the necklace, waves her wand and disappears)

Max

Dude, I don't know what you just did but she seems pretty hurt. I'm gonna let it slide so you and I are still good.

Justin

(pushes Max away) No!

Mason

Justin please! Let me explain this!

Justin

There's nothing to explain. You broke Alex's heart. (to Max) He's not good with any of us.

Max

I figured. I tried but it was totally hard to misread the situation.

Justin

Mason. Alex doesn't want to see you, and not to gloat, but I know Juliet doesn't.

Mason

I came to fix things.

Theresa

(whispers to Justin) Make him write down what he wants to say to her. That accent of his gives him an unfair advantage.

Mason

Alex. I didn't mean what I said earlier. I was in shock from seeing Juliet but I wanna be with you.

Alex

Really?

Mason

Yes, I do.

Alex

Mason, look. I've been in shock before, too.. like, when I accidentally made my brother disappear.. or I accidentally made my parents not know who I was.. or I accidentally got trapped in a horror film.. or I accidentally-

Theresa

Honey.. honey, we know.. you've messed up a a lot.

Alex

Yes. But still, I've never accidentally told someone I love them, when I didn't.

Mason

Alex, I know it's hard to believe, but if you just let me explain-

Alex

I think you've said enough.

Jerry

You have to go now, Mister.

Mason

Yes, sir. I'll, be on my way, then. And I'll regret my mistake, for the rest of my life..

Max

Alex went to Pennsylvania!

Jerry

The Keystone State!

Justin

Are you sure she didn't say Transylvania?

Max

I don't know. Say 'Pennsylvania' with a British accent.

Justin

(in normal voice) Transylvania.

Max

That was it.

Alex

(lays her head on Justin's shoulder) Promise me we'll find normal people.

Justin

We're not normal people.