Justin Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

3,2,1. Evil.

Alex

(turns around and looks evil)

Justin

Yeah, it's too late.

Alex

(looks at Ronald) I don't look like him, do I? (takes off Justin's glasses and looks at her reflection and gasps)

Justin

Couldn't we just wait for the elevator to come back up?

Max

Justin, even I know that's a bad idea!

And Professor Crumbs, I'm firing you! And just to prove that I am evil, I'll take that beard.

Professor Crumbs

(takes off his beard and gives it to Ronald)

Alex

(shocked and covers her mouth)

Justin

(shocked and takes off his glasses)

Jerry

"Popcon's in town!

Justin

"Popcon's in town!!"

Theresa

"Popcon's in town!?"

Max

"Popcorn's in town!!? That doesn't make any sense...why am I so excited?"

Mr. Laritate

Alex! Congratulations! You get to saddle up for the rodeo!

Alex

(gets back onstage and takes a few steps back) Out of my way. I gotta throw myself off the stage.

Justin

Make some room!

Mr. Laritate

(stops Alex) You're in the show, Alex.

Alex

(tries to run)

Mr. Laritate

(stops Alex again)

Alex

Yes.

Justin

With feeling!

Alex

(whispers) Oh. (to Zeke) With feeling.

Alex

Ew! (tries to clean the floor)

Justin

Would you die already?!

Alex

Fine! (gets a pillow and sits on it then whispers) I'm Dead.

Max

Hey I've got something that will put our name on the wizard map!

Max

Okay, how about a spell to make clear plastic that's sticky on one side and it helps wizards put drawings on the refrigerator? I'll call it, Russo's Sticky Strips.

Justin

You know, that sounds vaguely similar to something that we have right here (picks up tape), called tape.

Max

Oh man! This is even better than mine! It has a convenient clear holder and a serrated edge for clean cuts!

Max

This is awesome!

Justin

Is it Max? Is this what you really wanted for your birthday?!

Alex

If we live I am so taking my gift card back!

Alex

Did she steal our stories?

Justin

Wait.

Alex

Did she steal our stories?

Justin

Wait. [reads for a few more seconds then slams the book close] She stole our stories!

Alex

I knew it! Our stories are making this lady rich!

Harper

And famous!

Justin

And famous! There's a crazy ten minute sale, the kids get stuck in a movie, the brother turns invisible and they pour orange soda into a genie's lamp.

Justin

Who wrote down one syllable?

Max

I did!

Jerry

You were supposed to write titles.

Justin

That is infuriating isn't it, dad? Doesn't it make you just want to... throw a table.

Jerry

I'm sure there's a book titled "One Syllable" out there somewhere.

Jerry

No Alex, you stay, you're not disqualified. I got that fair and square. [stands up] YOUR MOTHER IS STACKING THE TEAMS AGAINST US!!

Justin

That's what I'm talking about!

Theresa

What? You heard her! She cheated.

Justin

And I'm livid. You know what? They should both be disqualified out of here.

Jerry

Oh, this is totally bogus!

Max

Dad's pouting 'cause he lost a fight again,

Theresa

No! We are not fighting, that's one thing we are not doing; we're not fighting. So stop fighting! The neighbors can hear us!

That's it! I'm calling the cops.

Jerry

(moves his arms like he's karate chopping)

Max

Karate Kid!

Jerry

We are not fighting! We're trying to make a good impression!

Justin

What are you doing?

Alex

You'll be interested to know that I've found the perfect present for dad.

Justin

[gasps][whispers to skull staff] She's going to turn her lips into a zipper!

Alex

Oh! That's a good shot! How long have you been working on that one?

Justin

Since the day that mom came home and said "Look! There's your little sister, Justin!"

What happened? Where did the milkshake machine go?

Alex

Justin, you did it!

Justin

Luckily one of those aliens dropped this thing and I was able to quickly figure out how to operate their advanced technology. It's a switch!

Justin

Okay, Alex. I got exactly what I wanted: a date with London Tipton.

Alex

Great!

Justin

Not great. I lied to get her.

Alex

Still great!

Justin

No. I got exactly what I wanted and now it's all terrible because she's not so smart.

Alex

What do you mean?

Justin

Max thinks she's dumb.

Alex

Oh, you gotta dump her.