Justin Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Jerry

Alex, lets give it a try. Now, lets say you havent eaten for days and You're in desperate need for a sandwich. What do you do?

Alex

I walk over to the sandwich shop and have Mom make me a sandwich.

Jerry

Okay, yes, but Mom's not here.

Justin

Where's Mom?

Jerry

It's not important where she is, umm, she's gone, she left the country.

Justin

She left the country? Why, is she ok?

Jerry

Yes, she's fine.

Alex

Well if she's fine, I don't see why she can't make me a sandwich.

Jerry

Here, I've already written one down for you, just read that and concentrate.

Max

Satisfy my empty belly, make me a peanut butter and jelly. [Max turns into a PBJ sandwich]

Jerry

You see what I just did there? I just illustrated the dangers of "Spell Improv". [Justin is about to eat Max] Ha-di-di-da! You have to use your words very carefully because in the Wizard World they take you literally. So, when Max said "Make me a peanut butter and jelly," they made him a peanut butter and jelly. [Justin begins to open Max and throws him back onto the couch] Yhoy!

Alex

Oh, I get it! Let me try it. Although I love such tasty snacks, I'd rather have my brother Max. [Max turns back into a human]

Justin

Hello!

Max

[To Justin] Hey, thanks for not eating me.

Jerry

Alex, you're a natural.

Alex

Thanks, that wasn't even true!

Justin

I'm sensing you have a devious and poorly thought out plan to get into this Ruby Donahue movie. I'm gonna ask you to leave me out of it.

Alex

Gladly. [As they walk away from each other, Alex gets in an isolated space.] I'm old enough to hang with actress model spokeswoman Ruby Donahue, so get me into Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 2. [Alex is zapped away and is in an unvacant room with lots of pajama-clad teenagers]

Alex

Is that Ruby Donahue over there?

No, silly! That's Bambi, the sensitive one! Just stay in character and scream when it's your turn.

Alex

[Alex, confused, walks towards the screen and finds out she is in the actual Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 2 film] Oh, my goodness, I'm in the movie.

And just in time, too! We're about to have a super fun Halloween pillow fight in our pajamas!

Alex

Aren't you a little old to be in a sorority?

Aren't you a little young?

Alex

Fair enough. [grabs a pillow and begins smashing it over the guest while everybody does the same. Suddenly a phone rings, causing everybody to stop in fear] What's the matter? It's just a phone...why did the music get all scary?

Justin

[plays arcade games and stops upon seeing his friends] Why are you guys out here? The movie isn't even over yet.

Justin, that movie is WAY too scary! There's somethings in life you cannot unsee!

Justin

Where's Alex? She said she'd catch up with you guys.

She never did. But weirdly enough, there's an actress in the movie that looked just like her.

Justin

Really?

Yeah, and she even sounded kinda like her, and she was wearing the exact same outfit as her. Weird, right?

Justin

[now understanding that Alex did a spell on herself to get in the movie, he begins making sarcastic answers] Yeah, that's weird. What'd you get on that deductive reasoning test?

99%, why?

Justin

Now thats even weirder. Would you guys excuse me for a moment? [runs to the same isolated space Alex was in] Alex Russo has messed up and put herself in a movie. Put me also in that movie. [fails to get zapped] That didn't even sound like a spell. OK, what rhymes with "movie"? Boovy, juvy, loovy, PLANT! [realizes that "movie" and "plant" don't rhyme] Plant...this is going to take a while. [leans against the wall, looking for a spell that will work]

Theresa

Okay, and on the way we can pick up your new wizard's robes!

Justin

Oh, no, Mom. They do just black bathrobes now. Wizard's robes are too formal for these casual times.

Alex

Oh, come on, she isn't that cute!

Justin

Yes, she is!

Alex

No, she isn't!

Justin

Uh huh.

Justin

Got it.

Alex

Does he have to say, "Got it" after every question? It's throwing me off on my exam.

Max

[surprised] We're taking an exam?

Max

Why doesn't Dad just grade our papers?

Professor Crumbs

So that no one will get better grades just by batting their eyes and trying to look cute.

Alex

[batting her eyes and looking cute] Are you talking about me?

Justin

[mocking Alex's expression] Alex, you're doing it right now.

Justin

I don't know why you guys even bothered taking that test. We all know that I'm the one that's gonna win the family wizard contest and keep my powers.

Jerry

That's not for a long while, Justin.

Alex

And what if they change the rules so only girls keep their powers? Oh, wait, you still might win.

Justin

Oh, Alex, you're so transparent. You know that I'm better than you at magic, so you have to lash out and make fun of me. And, you don't take any of this magic seriously.

Alex

I can't take *you* seriously. You use big words like "transparent". What are you, British?

Professor Crumbs

No, but I am.

Alex

[Professor Crumbs, who was about to take Alex's powers, is turned into guinea pig] Don't look at me, I don't have my powers!

Jerry

[shocked] Justin?

Justin

...I panicked!

Alex

This is my problem not yours. Don't let me drag you down.

Justin

But you don't drag me down. I don't want you to lose your powers. Everytime you mess up; I have to think of a way to fix it. You make me a better wizard.

Alex

I hate you.

Justin

Hate you too. (they look at eachother for a bit, then hug)

Alex

...And if it means that much to you, i'll sign your tortilla petition.

Justin

[On the phone talking to his Mom] So you and Dad crossed over into New Jersary right, Then It's official I'm in charge? What if there was a tidal wave, If their was THEN can I be in charge? YES!! [Hangs up phone and blows a whistle] Okay, I'm in charge.

Alex

[Throws a water balloon at Justin] Hey, look, a tidal wave, now you're in charge!

Justin

Alex, you just ruined my new clothes.

Alex

Justin, when you wear something for a week, it's not new anymore. It just needs a wash.

Max

[Throws a water balloon at Justin] Hey, look, I just washed it. You're welcome!

Justin

[holds up the Speed Shirt] This is a Speed Shirt, it gives you supersonic speed.

Max

Ah, does it grow your hair really long?

Justin

Speed...shirt...

Jerry

Justin, get in the kitchen right now!

Justin

OK, Come on Isabella we're going in the kitchen...

Theresa

No No, Isabella has to stay here because, of, the, the thing

Justin

What thing?

Jerry

Justin, you come in the kitchen, Isebella, you stay here

Justin

If one person in the family hates someone then the others have to hate them, too.

Max

So, that means if I hate pumpkin pie, you hate pumpkin pie, too?

Justin

You know I love pumpkin pie!