Alex Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Alex

It doesn't even look that hard. It's just a little pamphlet. [opens the pamphlet to reveal more] Little bit. [opens pamphlet more and stretches it out to Justin] More. [opens the paper more] Oh, this is going to take me, like, three days just to close up!

Alex

Mysterious yet obvious. I am on it.

Alex

You're a wizard. A good one and you know in your heart that you don't belong here.

Alex

(A spell on Zeke) This is no longer cute put his voice on mute.

Alex

Blah, Blah, Blah...

Alex

[reading fortune] Say good-bye to your life...

Bonjour Alex. Bonjour Alex's friend.

Harper

Nice shoes!

Harper

I mean.. Pfft! I don't care about you or your shoes!

Yeah. I've had these shoes for about a week. Oh, I mean I'd give them to you, but I'm already donating them to :another charity.

Alex

No! You should keep them. They go well with your eyebrow.

Well, at least I don't have man-hands. How do you get those meat-stubs through your sleeves?

Harper

And what happened to you two? Pick your noses so hard they fell off?

They got nose jobs.

When they heal, they'll look exactly like Gigi's!

Alex

[sarcasm] When's Gigi's gonna heal!?

Alex

So what you are saying is that getting back at Gigi was really hurting myself?

Jerry

No, but I like that better.

Alex

Well, since I figured that one out, I should pick my own punishment?

Jerry

No. Why don't you take my punishment, and duplicate it? You're grounded for 1 week.

Alex

Does that mean 2 weeks?!

Jerry

Oh, now it's four. I love this game!

Alex

You know a lot of stuff about stuff people don't care about, which is great. But I know relationships. I know how girls think!

Justin

So do I! They're right brained dominant and they have a slightly larger hyper-tholimus!

Alex

There you go again, knowing stuff people don't care about.

Justin

You may find this hard to believe, but...I've never kissed a girl before.

Alex

[smugly] I find it hard to believe that you think I'd find that hard to believe.

Alex

I need $5 dollars.

Alex

Second, tomorrow when you walk her to school, take her to by that old scary abandon house on the corner.

Justin

Right, cause she'll think I'm brave.

Alex

No, you'll get scared and she'll comfort you, and that's when you plant one on her.

Justin

Ok, that's a great idea.

Alex

Thanks, you have five ones for this five?

Justin

Umm... [takes out another 5 dollars]

Alex

Great, cause my five was lonely

Max

What's Deja Vu?

Jerry

It's when you feel like something happened before.

Alex

For example, dad you have five dollars?

Jerry

umm.. Why?

Alex

Cause I need five dollars.. Deja Vu, huh Justin?

Justin

So Alex, what was your first kiss like?

Alex

You know, it was in this place...with this guy...and it was very romantic. Over Christmas Vacation.

Max

We went to Grandma's over Christmas Vacation.

Justin

Wait a minute! You haven't kissed a guy yet! [smugly] I so have this over you now!

Alex

No you don't!

Justin

I know so when I go to school tomorrow and tell everyone you've never kissed anyone, no one'll care.

Justin

I'm gonna get even!

Alex

Hah-yeah. Okay. That'll never happen. Remember the time you wanted to get "even with me"? I got the bigger bedroom and you got what?

Justin

[he says embarrased] Shot-gun on that one trip to the outlet mall..

Alex

Exactly, some things never change!

[Singing the Funky Hat Song] What's that? A hat? Crazy, funky, junky hat! Overslept? Hair unsightly? Trying to look like Keira Knightley? We've been there, we've done that! We see right through your funky hat!