Alex Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Jerry

[Throwing a tantrum, the spell broken] It's! Gah! Mars! Who- !? ALEX!!?

Alex

Maybe it's not so ridiculous!

Max

Not to mention she left me on Mars.

Alex

H-He's right, it's completely my fault.

Jerry

You are in SO MUCH trouble, young lady!

Alex

...I know. (she hugs him, and he points his finger up speechlessly)

Alex

That's not magic.

Justin

How do you know I didn't forget my locker combination and then used magic to remember it?

Alex

Because you made up a locker combination song.

Justin

Mom and Dad are charmed? WHAT?! HOW?! WHEN?! WHO?!

Alex

Mom and Dad.

Justin

WHAT?! HOW?! WHEN?!

Alex

At Dinner.

Justin

WHAT?! HOW?!

Alex

It was in the Kugel.

Justin

WHAT?!

Alex

Justin, I think you know what!

Alex

What happened to your faces? Applied your makeup with a hammer?

[Laughs with her friends]

Harper

You didn't come for the tea. You came to protect me.

Alex

I'll always be there to protect you.

Alex

Oh, this is going better than I thought. Hey everybody! I'm a wizard!

Huh!?

Alex

Just kidding!

Justin

C'mon guys, hurry! We've got to go check on Dragon!

Max

Why? If anyone messes with him, he'll just breathe fire.

Alex

(Annoyed) That's what we're worried about.

Max

What? I thought we just didn't want him to take leaks in the house.

Justin

Hey guys. Gotta go check on dragon.

Theresa

Wait, Justin.

Alex

What's going on?

Theresa

Those flyers you put up worked. Dragon's rightful owner came and picked him up.

Alex

His owner?

Theresa

I'm sorry, honey.

Frankie

You lost your found dog? Why don't you rest your head on Frankie's shoulder and tell him ALL about it?

Alex

I would, but I don't have time for you to get a ladder.

Frankie

The guy came out with the dog and bought this. A program for the Hudson Dog Show.

Alex

The Hudson Dog Show? When is it?

Frankie

Why dontcha buy a copy and find out?

Alex

I have to buy it?

Frankie

Would I come into your restaurant, lick a sandwich and leave? ZINGER! That'll be $8.00 please.

Alex

Ugh, okay.... ( reads the program) IT'S TODAY! I'd like to return this for a refund. ( takes money back) ZINGERR!

Jerry

Alex, lets give it a try. Now, lets say you havent eaten for days and You're in desperate need for a sandwich. What do you do?

Alex

I walk over to the sandwich shop and have Mom make me a sandwich.

Jerry

Okay, yes, but Mom's not here.

Justin

Where's Mom?

Jerry

It's not important where she is, umm, she's gone, she left the country.

Justin

She left the country? Why, is she ok?

Jerry

Yes, she's fine.

Alex

Well if she's fine, I don't see why she can't make me a sandwich.

Jerry

Here, I've already written one down for you, just read that and concentrate.

Max

Satisfy my empty belly, make me a peanut butter and jelly. [Max turns into a PBJ sandwich]

Jerry

You see what I just did there? I just illustrated the dangers of "Spell Improv". [Justin is about to eat Max] Ha-di-di-da! You have to use your words very carefully because in the Wizard World they take you literally. So, when Max said "Make me a peanut butter and jelly," they made him a peanut butter and jelly. [Justin begins to open Max and throws him back onto the couch] Yhoy!

Alex

Oh, I get it! Let me try it. Although I love such tasty snacks, I'd rather have my brother Max. [Max turns back into a human]

Justin

Hello!

Max

[To Justin] Hey, thanks for not eating me.

Jerry

Alex, you're a natural.

Alex

Thanks, that wasn't even true!

Justin

I'm sensing you have a devious and poorly thought out plan to get into this Ruby Donahue movie. I'm gonna ask you to leave me out of it.

Alex

Gladly. [As they walk away from each other, Alex gets in an isolated space.] I'm old enough to hang with actress model spokeswoman Ruby Donahue, so get me into Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 2. [Alex is zapped away and is in an unvacant room with lots of pajama-clad teenagers]

Alex

Is that Ruby Donahue over there?

No, silly! That's Bambi, the sensitive one! Just stay in character and scream when it's your turn.

Alex

[Alex, confused, walks towards the screen and finds out she is in the actual Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 2 film] Oh, my goodness, I'm in the movie.

And just in time, too! We're about to have a super fun Halloween pillow fight in our pajamas!

Alex

Aren't you a little old to be in a sorority?

Aren't you a little young?

Alex

Fair enough. [grabs a pillow and begins smashing it over the guest while everybody does the same. Suddenly a phone rings, causing everybody to stop in fear] What's the matter? It's just a phone...why did the music get all scary?

Justin

[plays arcade games and stops upon seeing his friends] Why are you guys out here? The movie isn't even over yet.

Justin, that movie is WAY too scary! There's somethings in life you cannot unsee!

Justin

Where's Alex? She said she'd catch up with you guys.

She never did. But weirdly enough, there's an actress in the movie that looked just like her.

Justin

Really?

Yeah, and she even sounded kinda like her, and she was wearing the exact same outfit as her. Weird, right?

Justin

[now understanding that Alex did a spell on herself to get in the movie, he begins making sarcastic answers] Yeah, that's weird. What'd you get on that deductive reasoning test?

99%, why?

Justin

Now thats even weirder. Would you guys excuse me for a moment? [runs to the same isolated space Alex was in] Alex Russo has messed up and put herself in a movie. Put me also in that movie. [fails to get zapped] That didn't even sound like a spell. OK, what rhymes with "movie"? Boovy, juvy, loovy, PLANT! [realizes that "movie" and "plant" don't rhyme] Plant...this is going to take a while. [leans against the wall, looking for a spell that will work]

Alex

Hey, you're Ruby Donahue!

Who are you?

Alex

Alex.

Are you the evil sorority sister who's come back from the grave to punish us for our cute but reckless destruction of perfectly good pillows?!?!

Alex

What? No! I'm just a kid, I don't even know what I'm doing in this movie.

Me neither. This was all my agent's idea!

Alex

Oooh, there's that music again! Where's it coming from?

This is the part where I run screaming into the showers for no reason at all.

Alex

Well, it was nice meetin' ya.

You too!

Jerry

Ok Max, now that your full powers are here. its time for the hat.

Alex

Oh not the hat!

Max

What hat?

Alex

Dad that hats so ugly!

Max

What hat?!?!

Theresa

I cant believe my mijito is ready for the hat!

Max

Somebody tell me about the hat already!