(coughs) This jail cell is awful! (snorts) No matter where I stand, I'm never more than 12 feet away from the soap. (coughs) And it's all Carmen's fault! Go get her in (Continent). (coughs)
Robocrook Unit-059 calling. According to my default program, when imprisoned for more than 11 seconds, I automatically rat on my owner. Look for Carmen in (Continent).
I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Go look for her in (Continent).
Darn that Carmen! I've gone from Salesman of the Century to starchin' socks in the prison laundry. I'm climbin' down the ladder of success. Look for Carmen in (Continent).
Uh-oh. If Carmen finds out I'm in jail again, I'll get fired for sure. Do me a favor and don't mention that you caught me when you're chasing her through (Continent).
Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playing Michael Bolton tapes. Get Carmen in here! She'll make 'em stop! She scooted to (Contient).
All right! Now I can sell my prison memoirs and make a zillion! Get Carmen in here so she can make me a publishin' deal. She's hidin' out in (Continent)
Oh, another planet, another prison cell. Maybe I could spend my sentence getting to know Carmen better. Look for her in (Continent).
That Carmen's a party pooper. We've been in jail for 17 seconds already, and she hasn't even visited yet! Look for her in (Continent).
And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen's sneaky sophomore snitcher.
Her last known whereabouts: Edinburgh, Scotland. Bobby the Dog belonged to a shepherd named John Grey. On market days, Grey and Bobby always stopped for lunch at a tavern across the street from Greyfriars Church. When Grey died in 1858 and was buried in the churchyard, the dog refused to leave his master's grave. For 14 years, Bobby left only once daily to eat at the tavern. When Bobby finally went to doggy heaven, friends built a statue of him near the churchyard. And, it stood there until today when Patty, armed with a heavy duty leash, tempted the terrier with a savory smelling dog biscuit. First, he resisted her advances, but then she collared him and walked him away. Gumshoes, you've got to find out where that...
Carmen, this bronze dog is awfully heavy and he doesn't even know any tricks.
Don't whine, Patty dear. The Gumshoes have sniffed you out. Go to an island nation east of Mozambique.
Hey, I'll stash the loot there.
You won't be the first. Pirates use this island as a base in the 17th and 18th centuries. It's also famous for its chameleons-- lizards who can change color.
If I were a chameleon, I'd go for a nice floral print.
Your color's going to be jail cell gray if you don't get moving. Now, scoot.
(as the Chief, Greg and the gumshoes travel to Denver, Colorado)
Oh, this guy is such a good driver.
He knows how to stay on a straight line. That's for sure.
And this is Eartha Brute, Carmen Sandiego's brawny brawling burglaress.
(singing) Eartha Brute HUH!
Her last known whereabouts: Western Pennsylvania. In 1935, department store owner Edgar Kaufmann commissioned architect Frank Lloyd Wright to build a vacation home near a waterfall on Bear Run. Wright surprised Kaufmann with a plan to build a house directly over the waterfall. The building called Falling Water was completed in 1939. One scholar called Falling Water a complete masterpiece of 20th century art. Well, today, that complete masterpiece is completely gone because Eartha barreled up Bear Run, admired the architecture, and bolted with the building, waterfall and all. Gumshoes, it's a fright when...
(while Greg, the Gumshoes, and the Chief travel to Algeria, Greg and the Chief hum "Wait for the Wagon")
GCGreg and the Chief
Wait for the Wagon.
Wait for the Wagon.
Wait for the Wagon,
and we'll all take a ride!
The M'zab (Shoeprints are revealed)
I just wanna make sure that everybody is really ready for this. Okay? So everybody, repeat after me! It's time...!
AAudience
Carmen Sandiego!
AAudience
Carmen Sandiego!
AAudience
Carmen Sandiego!
Lemme hear you cheer! Let's do this! (to Kavir) C'mon, man!
(the audience cheers)
And this is Top Grunge, Carmen Sandiego's festering farrago of filth.
His last known whereabouts: West Point on New York's Hudson River. The U.S. Military Academy was founded here in 1802. Among its nearly 50,000 graduates, presidents Ulysses S. Grant and Dwight D. Eisenhower. Students are called cadets and after graduation, they become second lieutenants in the U.S. Army. The first graduating class consisted of ten men. Nowadays, more than 900 men and women graduate each year. Or they did until today when Top Grunge rode into formation. Dreaming his dreams of military glory, Grunge hopped on his chopper and heisted the whole academy. Gumshoes, you've got to clean up this...
Greg, you'd better come into my office.
Yeah, Chief. I'll be right there. You guys, if you'll excuse me for just a moment. The Chief obviously is a need of me. (enters the office, where the Chief has ping-pong balls on her desk) What's up, Chief?
Uh, Greg, something weird is going on. I can't explain it, but a certain thing happens whenever anybody says Carmen's last name, so from now on, it's just Carmen.
Okay. Okay. Don't worry, Chief, I won't say "Carmen Sandiego".
(ping-pong balls fall from the ceiling onto the Chief)
Thanks, Greg. I knew I could count on you.
I'm sorry. Never again. I promise. I won't say "Carmen Sandi... armpit." Carmen Sandieggsalad. Carmen Sandielephant.
Oh, for goodness sake, Greg! I keep thinking you're about to say "Carmen Sandiego".
(ping-pong balls fall)
Uh, uh, Chief, do you think maybe this is maybe a good time for the home viewer contest?
(Greg and the Chief do the contest rules)
Great. See ya later. (exits the office, but the Chief stops him)
Uh, Greg. Greg, one more thing.
You-- You know the squeak in my chair.
I wonder if you could just check it out for me.
Squeak in a chair? All right. (sits down)
Right there. (to the ceiling) Carmen Sandiego!
(nothing happens)
Nope. No squeak that I could find. I gotta get back to work. See ya. (exits the office)
(the Chief sits back down at her desk and the ping-pong balls fall again)
(Greg returns to HQ and looks up at the ceiling to see if ping-pong balls would fall, but they don't until one does when Greg leaves for the Phone Tap)
And this is Wonder Rat, Carmen's snout-faced, self-promoting crony in crime.
His last known whereabouts: Cody, Wyoming. Showman Buffalo Bill Cody founded this town. His traveling Wild West Show made stars out of Annie Oakley and Chief Sitting Bull. The show's memorabilia is now displayed at Cody's Buffalo Bill Historical Center. Some say Bill's greatest achievement was turning himself into a legend. Well, oneself promoter deserves another and the other showed up today. When Wonder Rat, Carmen's second rate superhero stole the whole town. Wyoming is wailing and we've got to whip that wonder weasel. Gumshoes, your job is to wrangle that rat and his...
...ROARING RODENT ROAD SHOW!
This is Lynne Thigpen for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?. And remember: Our gumshoes are strong and steady, and some them have moms named Betty. Not mine but some of them do.
And this is Wonder Rat, Carmen's wicked whiskered windbag.
Chief His last known whereabouts: the Persian Gulf. The Persian Gulf is an arm of the Arabian Sea. Bordered by oil-rich nations like Kuwait and Saudi Arabia, the Gulf is the key passageway for shipping billions of dollars in oil and natural gas to the world's nations. That's one reason the region has seen its share of war in recent years. But today, the gulf is gone. Wonder Rat burrowed his way to the beach. He figured in his twisted mind that if it was worth worrying over it must be worth stealing. So he drained every drop. Gumshoes, bring an end to his evil caper...
...THE PERSIAN SUBVERSION or THE GRABBING OF THE GULF!
Hiya, Chief. Listen, I was expectin' you to call me in.
Well, I couldn't, Greg. My intercom doesn't work, and look, (shows her magnifying glass) my magnifying glass won't magnify. The blotter won't blot. Well, I can't even open my drawers.
Chief, listen. Maybe your desk is outta gas. Now, when was the last time you had it filled?
Well, you know, I've been so busy, I haven't even thought about it lately.
Look here, this is your problem. It's bone dry, huh? I'll fill it up for you. (taps the left side of her desk to summon the monitor she had previously used for the Photo Recon segment in Season 2)
Oh, thanks. And while you do that, I'll tell the home viewers at home about the contest. (Greg puts a gas pump in the top of the monitor to have her desk filled with gasoline and cleans the "windshield"; during this the contest is announced)
Heck of a deal. All right, uh, pull thing there, Chief. (removes the gas pump and the Chief starts her "car" and Greg taps the monitor to descend back down) All right. Safe as always.
(hands Greg his tip) There you go. Keep the change.
(turns on her "headlights") You bet.
(as the Chief drives off) And don't play your radio too loud. You know what happened last time. (the Chief waves goodbye and so does Greg) See ya. (exits the office with the gas pump)
You'd better take the gulf on the lam.
I am on the lam, Carmen. I've been in 4 countries in the last 8 minutes.
I mean the Lam Sea. That's what the local people used to call it, anyway. The sea is officially part of Russia, so you see its modern Russian name on maps. Head for Sakhalin Island.
Gee, you'll think I'll run into any of my faithful devoted fans, Carmen?
No, they're both in prison, but keep your claws out of the water. The sea is full of crabs.
Hey, crabs love me! I'll get a crustacean ovation! (laughs)
(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Glasgow, Scotland)
I love drivin' this car, Chief.
Well, just don't push the ejector seat like you did the last time.
(Wonder Rat tells Diana to go to North America)
DDiana
We're goin' to North America!
DGDiana and Greg
(point to the camera) We're goin' to North America!
And this is Kneemoi, that anti-social alien from Carmen Sandiego's band of baddies.
Her last known whereabouts: Australia. Before the arrival of Europeans, Australia's Aborigines lived in small communal groups which hunted and gathered food. As they traveled from place to place, tribal elders used songs of myth and history as their oral maps. The song lines, called corroboree, are still sung by some present-day Aborigines. Or they were until today when Kneemoi absconded with the songs. She thinks they'd make great disco hits on her home planet Roddenberry. Gumshoes, you got to nail Kneemoi, catch Carmen, and put an end to...
...THE OUTBACK SOUNDTRACK HIJACK!
And this is Sarah Nade, Carmen Sandiego's screeching cyberpunk scofflaw.
Her last known whereabouts: northern Israel. In 1910, a group of Jews from Russia founded the Degania Kibbutz. A collective farmer owned the property together and worked for the good of the community. As more Jews moved to the area, more kibbutzim, that's the plural of kibbutz, were founded. Today, there are over 200 kibbutzim, home to roughly one in 30 Israelis and Degania is still going strong. Or it was until today when Sarah Nade jammed up the Jordan River. She lifted all the livestock. She pilfered all the produce. She inveigled all the industry. That's right, she keelhauled the whole kibbutz. Gumshoes, you've got to free that farm and factory, and tell Sarah Nade...
...COME BACK WITH THAT KIBBUTZ, TOOTS!
And this is Patty Larceny, that antisocial adolescent from Carmen Sandiego's crew of cretins.
Her last known whereabouts: Kazanluk, Bulgaria, The Valley of the Roses is a rural area near Kazanluk. For more than 200 years, the roses grown here have been the world's prime source of rose oil, a precious basic ingredient in perfume. Top perfume makers from around the world pay up to $2,500 a pound for Kazanluk rose oil. Or they did until today when Patty Larceny slipped into the valley, flounced furtively through the fields, and bagged every last bud. Gumshoes, you've got to catch that crooked kid and crush...
...THE KAZANLUK COLOGNE CAPER!
And this is Vic the Slick, Carmen's pocket-picking pinchmeister.
His last known whereabouts: Patagonia in Southern Argentina. Patagonia's Los Glaciares National Park is home to Moreno Glacier, a 22-mile long, three mile wide sheet of ice up to 200 feet thick. At the front of the glacier, a dramatic cliff rises from the water of Lake Argentina. Huge chunks of ice regularly break off and float away but even so, the glacier is getting bigger with every snowfall. Or it did until today when Vic the Slick hauled it off. He's planning to melt the ice down and make billions on Vic's Patagonian bottled water. Here's your job, gumshoes. Catch Carmen, stop the slick one and undo...
We made a mistake, Tahare, the last time you were on this show last season. So we've asked you to come back. So good luck to you. Thanks for comin' back. Ladies and gentlemen, Tahare's here.
They're after you, Vic. Take the glacier to the last African colony to declare independence from Britain. A small landlocked kingdom in southern Africa.
Landlocked? This ice is tough haulin' on land, Carmster.
Hire some help. Pay them with emalangeni. That's the country's currency. King Mswati III is pictured on the bills.
Hey, maybe I could sell the king this burg, huh?
Can you bargain and speak Swati?
Eh, no, but good taste is a universal language.
Then, you're universally illiterate.
(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Tianjin, China)
Uh, Greg, isn't this where we're supposed to meet the ferry?
And this is Double Trouble, Carmen's diabolical dual of do-badders.
(singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Their last known whereabouts: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Next to Rio's Guanabara Bay stands a towering chunk of granite rising 1,300 feet. The Indians who first lived here called the pointy isolated peak, Pot de Sucre, which means pointy isolated peak. Then the Portuguese changed it to Pâo de Açucar, or Sugarloaf. English nanny Henrietta Carstairs was the first European to scale Sugarloaf in 1817. Now hundreds of people a day take a six minute cable car ride to the peak. But no more because today, Double Trouble, engineers of mayhem, rallied through Rio, ripped off the rock, and, well, ran away. Gumshoes, you've got to catch Carmen and rustle up those...
Now, I really do think we're gettin' close to catchin' Double Trouble. All we hafta do is contin--
Oh, you think so, do you?!
It's my upstairs neighbor, Mrs. Pumpkinclanger. (enters the alley and looks up at Mrs. Pumpkinclanger) Hey, Mrs. P!
"How that red rain hath made the harvest grow", said the poet Lord Byron. He was describing a sight in the center of Belgium, where Napoleon fought his last battle in 1815 and now Double Trouble are a blight on that same sight. Uh, you know, I'm a bit of a poet myself. (shows a book) The stench of crime lies heavy upon us. Like a patient etherised upon a table and alas my downstairs neighbors are a clumsy surgeon and trusted with its cure. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Good-bye. (shuts her window)
Good-bye. Thank-- Thank you very much. Thanks a lot. By the way, we have copies of her book in the lobby after the show. Okay?
If you guys don't move, you'll be in a mountain of trouble.
Go to the country once known as Mesopotamia. It was one of the first civilizations on earth.
Well, that was then. What's there now?
The country's capital is a big city on both banks of the Tigris River. It's also the center of industry and transportation. They're reconstructing after the damage from the Gulf War.
We're there, boss! Let's rock the Cradle of civilization!
(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Ulan Bator, Mongolia)
This thing is sorta drafty, Greg. Can you close the window?
No windows, Chief. This is the economy model.
And this is Top Grunge, Carmen Sandiego's marauding mud-faced mechanic.
His last known whereabouts: northern India. The 1,700 mile-long Grand Trunk Road cuts across northern India from Pakistan to Calcutta. The route was probably first used in 1500 BC by invading armies from the north. Its narrow lanes have been in heavy use ever since. Even now it's India's most important road, trucks, buses, passenger cars, ox carts, camel caravans, and herds of cattle, plus yearly floods and muds make it a famously wild ride. Or it was until today when that skanky smelling cyclist Top Grunge rolled the road up and whisked it away. Gumshoes, it's your job to get it back, catch Carmen Sandiego, and stop...
Chief ...THE GRAND TRUNK PUNK!
(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Cape Cod, Massachusetts)
Yep, all the comforts of home.
(when Grunge is revealed; in a grungy voice) Top Grunnnnnnnnnnnge!
Movin' on! (sings their fanfare; as Earl is about to leave his podium, when the confetti starts falling)
No, wait! (Earl heads back to his podium) Okay, yeah. Good. Okay. Now come here. Oh, we're very serious about our confetti, sir.
And this is Kneemoi, Carmen Sandiego's antisocial extraterrestrial ectoplasm.
Her last known whereabouts: Cuba. This island nation is home to the world's smallest bird, the bee hummingbird. These dinky guys are only about two inches long from bill to tail, and weigh less than a penny. They lay half the size of jelly beans. Bee hummers can flap their wings about 80 times per second. They're so small and fast that even bird experts often mistake them for insects. The bee hummingbird is only found in Cuba. Or it was until today when Kneemoi cruised into Cuba with a bright idea. Disguised as a flower, she tempted the hummers, then hauled them off. She plans to turn them into the Roddenberrian Tabernacle Choir. Gumshoes, you got to grab that flying felon, catch Carmen, and undo...
...THE BEE-BIRD BURGLARY!
And this is Sarah Nade, Carmen Sandiego's raucous rock and roll robber.
Her last known whereabouts: North Carolina. People don't holler much anymore, but in the era before telephones, farmers communicated with their distant neighbors by hollering like this: (hollering) There were trouble hollers, greeting hollers, good time hollers, oh, you name it. Now, every year the small North Carolina town of Spivey's Corner hosts the National Hollerin' Contest. People from all over compete in this almost lost art. Or they did until today when Sarah Nade skated into Spivey's Corner, dug the den, then heisted every holler. Gumshoes, you've got a job to do. Subdue Sarah Nade and HAUL THE HOLLERIN' HOME!
