Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's cartel of cruel crudballs have committed another crime. This time, they zapped Zimbabwe. In Zimbabwe, this bird is all over. It appears on the currency, flag, and coat of arms. Several ancient sculptures of the bird, carved out of green soapstone, stand in the museum near the ruins of the Shona Karanga city-state. This powerful kingdom flourished between the 13th and 15th centuries AD in the southeastern part of Zimbabwe. Its power faded but remnants remained: an acropolis, a temple with walls as high as 36 feet, and the Stone Birds. But this morning, Wonder Rat, that rodential robber, grabbed one of the bird by the beak and took off with it. He thinks it will make a cool action figure in his rat-mania roadshow. Gumshoes, your mission is to trap that wretched rat, bring Zimbabwe's beloved bird back home, and then bust up Carmen Sandiego's gang for good.
ACME's closing in on you. Bag the bird, then head for the capital of a southern state. It's where the civil rights movement got underway back in 1955. That's when Rosa Parks, an African American refused to give up her seat on a bus to a white man.
Yeah. Yeah, I know the place. Uh, listen. Can I head for that lunch joint with a huge buffet of local homemade food?
You mean the Farmers Market Cafeteria.
Yeah. I'm thinkin' the customers might wanna see my rat-o-mania road show.
The customers might want to see you in jail, rat-face. Keep your tail out of sight.
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's troop of tricky transgressors has struck again. This time, they pilfered a peak between Nepal and Tibet. The Himalayan Mountains are home to nine of the world's ten tallest peaks, and the highest of them all is Mount Everest. Named after British surveyor Sir George Everest, this mountain's 29,028-foot height is the ultimate challenge for climbers. Recorded attempts to reach the top of Mount Everest began in 1921, but it wasn't done until 1953 by Sir Edmund Hillary, an Englishman who was once a beekeeper, and Tenzing Norgay of the Sherpas, a people native to the Himalaya. But now, the sight of this towering peak is a gaping crater. Kneemoi, Carmen's space-trucking troublemaker, has stolen Mount Everest. She says her planet Roddenberry needs a ski resort. Your mission, gumshoes: evict Kneemoi from Everest, return the peak to its place, and then bring Carmen Sandiego to justice.
(after Kneemoi's profile) She's an extra sneaky, extra crafty, extra extraterrestrial.
Okay, Gumshoes. For our next clue, we turn to ACME Celeb Net agent LeVar Burton. LeVar, what's the latest?
LLeVar
Greg, I've tracked some tricky aliens around the galaxy, but no one as slippery as Kneemoi. She has stashed Mt. Everest in a trench. Not a land trench. This one's on the ocean. Located in the North Pacific, it forms one of the deepest parts of any ocean on earth. It's about 7 miles down, so if Kneemoi put Everest on the bottom, its peak would be about a mile and a half below the water's surface. Wow, that's what I call being in over your head. Go get 'em.
'Kay, thanks a lot, LeVar.
Head for a town on the California coast. It was a setting for John Steinbeck's great novel Cannery Row.
Canary Row? He wrote about little birds in cages?
Not canaries. Canneries! Factories where they put fish into cans. Steinbeck wrote about the poor homeless men who worked in them, but the place has changed a lot. The canneries are gone and some of the most expensive real estate on earth is nearby.
Oh. Just one more question.
How did the fish breathe inside those little cans?
(Carmen sighs)
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's covey of cretinous creeps has created another crime. This time, they pulled their caper in China. In 1974, Chinese peasants outside the imperial city of Xi'an made an amazing discovery. While digging a well, they unearthed a tomb from the 3rd century BC, the final resting place of unified China's first emperor Qin Shi Huangdi, and the old king wasn't alone. To protect his tomb, his subjects buried him with an army of over 7,000 life-sized clay warriors. Historians says it took several hundred-thousand workers 36 years to construct the tomb and the Terracotta army. Since their discovery, many of the soldiers have been restored and returned to their posts in the large burial pit. But now, the army has evacuated. Carmen's henchrodent Wonder Rat, that self-promoting sniveling pseudo superhero, zipped through Xi'an and stole all the statues. Gumshoes, your mission is to reel in the rat, rerustle those statues, and then round up crime queen Carmen Sandiego.
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her gang of vino vipers have vandalized again. This time, they did the deed on the island of Phuket in Thailand. Around 1785, the governor of Thalang, Phuket's administrative center, died. So the king of Burma thought, "Hey, good time for me to invade." His army tried to take Phuket, but they ran into two obstacles: the governor's widow, Khun Ying Chan and her sister, Kung Ying Muk. The two rallied the townspeople and forced the Burmese army to retreat. Thailand's king was so grateful that he had these two bronze statue of the sisters erected. They guarded Phuket until today when Patty Larceny, that greedy goody-goody, snuck onto the island and grabbed the girls swords and all. Your mission, gumshoes: lock up Larceny, send the statues back to Thailand, and then catch that crazed crime creator Carmen Sandiego.
I just adore these sisters. They're pretty, but they're dangerous. Just like me!
But always remember, dear, they are good guys, and you're a bad guy. Now, listen. Sail off the Río de la Plata to the capital of Uruguay. Hide the Heroines behind the Gaucho statue. It's a bronze monument to these hard riding horsemen.
I know what Gauchos are. They're cowboys.
That's right, Patty, dear. Now, quit showing off and shove off.
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's failance of felonious flimflammers has struck again. This time, They've pinched a plane in Vietnam. Ho Chi Minh City, still widely known by its former name Saigon, is home to Vietnam's Military Museum. The museum is a tribute to victory after a long history of occupation. This Southeast Asian country outlasted four major military powers: China, Japan, France, and the U.S.A., finally unifying in 1976 when the last Americans left. One of the Military Museum's proudest showpieces is a captured F-5 Freedom Fighter Jet, complete with a loaded 20-millimeter nose gun. Well, the gun is gone, guys, and so is the plane. It's attached to Robocrook. Carmen's mechanical marauder crept into the cockpit, revved the engines, and took off. Your mission, gumshoes: deplane Robocrook, return the jet to Ho Chi Minh City, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.
Chief, what's with the fruit here?
Greg, is this one of your practical jokes?
No, Chief! No way! You made me promise, no more practical jokes after that disaster with the hair dryer and the 9 ferrets.
Ooh! Then it must be Carmen Sandiego who's behind this! (laughs like a maniac) Well! If this is the way she wants it, I'm going to fight fire with fire!
Robo, those ACME agents are closing in. Head for an African capital located on a large river called the Zaire.
Affirmative. It's in a country that's also called Zaire. Was the river named after the country?
No, it's the other way around. Zaire is the Portuguese version of a Kikongo word that means large river.
So, the country called Large River is on a large river that's called Large River? That is very logical. What is the meaning of Kikongo?
It's one of the national languages spoken in Zaire, but the official language is French because it was once a Belgian colony.
Orders received. I'm on my way.
(each time the Freedom Fighter Jet is revealed in the 2nd round)
Filched Fighter!
$10 headsets!
Off we go into the wild blue yonder! ("The U.S. Air Force")
Leavin' on a Jet Plane! (John Denver song)
Be all that you can be! (Army jingle)
(Robo is revealed, to Greg's surprise)
WHOA!!! WHOA!!! Oh, my goodness!
(singing) Robocrook! YOU'VE WON!! (sings their fanfare)
(Ricky goes to the chain, when the confetti is ready to fall)
(races to Ricky, pushing him back to his podium) Wait! Wait! (laughs) Go back and... some of this! (Ricky finishes getting confetti) There you go. Now come over here. (he and Ricky walk up to the chain)
This is Lynne Thigpen speaking for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? and remember: We're on the case like fleas on Lassie, with better ratings than Degrassi.
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's ring of rabble-rousing rapscallions has struck again. This time, they burgled bones from the National Museum of Ethiopia in Addis Ababa. In 1974, paleoanthropologists digging in Ethiopia uncovered uncovered the oldest and most complete skeleton of an early human. It was a female about three and a half feet tall and 25 years old if you don't count the 3 million years she's been dead. Her discoverer has called her Lucy because they we're listening to the Beatles song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" when they found her. But now, Lucy's skeleton hangs in Top Grunge's closet. That skid marked scallywag cycled onto the site, disguised Lucy as a biker, then drove her away. Your mission, gumshoes: fracture Top Grunge's evil plans, bring back Lucy's bones, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.
(Rockapella parodies the "I Love Lucy" theme song)
Grunge loves Lucy, and there they went.
Dinosaur National Monument.
That's where the creep took the skelly-ton.
He's such a VILE, nasty smelly-ton.
He wants to take her to ski at Vale.
Toss that big, wheezing crook in jail.
Check Pueblo out for the Grunge path!
And please...
Oh, won't you please?
Oh, won't you give...
Oh, won't you please give ol' Lucy a great, big, beautiful sponge...
Rockapella, ladies and gentlemen, if you will, please!
DMDennis Miller
Hello. Greg, Dennis Miller. Look, I've got a little message for you and your puttyboots, pal.
DDennis
I don't care if their horseshoes, cha-cha. Okay? Listen. There's a pan-global kleptomaniac in a slouch hat running around out there, and it's time you did something about it. I know trilobytes who are closer to... catching Carmen Sandiego than you. You're lurals are creasing, Greggo. It's time to stop resting on them, pal. (hangs up)
Nice guy. Dennis Miller, my good buddy. (hangs up the phone)
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her flock of fleecing flunkies have done it again. This time, they put the whammy on Wiltshire, England. Around 4,000 years ago, ancient people built the circle of huge slabs called Stonehenge. No one knows who they were or what they were doing, but at certain times of the year, the position of the stones line up with the rising and the setting of the sun and the moon. So Stonehenge may have been an astronomical calendar or maybe an ancient observatory. But today, it fell into the metallic mist of Robocrook. He stole every pebble of the monument and stomped off across Salisbury Plain. Gumshoes, you've got to bring in Robocrook, bring back Stonehenge, and then bring an end to the career of Carmen Sandiego.
(on phone) Greg, please come into my office.
Yes, ma'mm. I'll be right there. (her phone starts ringing) You guys stay here. I'm gonna-- I'm gonna check with her. I gotta catch the phone. (enters the office where he discovers that she is missing) Yeah, Chief? Chief! Well, the Chief isn't here, but I better answer this phone. (clears throat and picks it up) ACME Crime Net!
Oh, hi, Chief! Where are ya now?
I am unavailable, due to classified business. I have left these taped voicemail instructions. Please dial 1 to continue.
Voicemail! I love voicemail. All right. (he dials 1, then looks at the Chief's papers) What's this?
Please do not touch my papers! Listen up!
(puts down the Chief's papers) Yeah.
1st question: How close are you to catching Carmen Sandiego?
Dial 1 for: We got her,
2 for: We're extremely close,
or 3 for: As usual, she's evaded us 3 times, and we look like dopes.
Oh, I guess that would be 3. (he dials 3)
Well, I'm not surprised. 2nd question: How should we encourage the Gumshoes to work harder?
Dial 1 for: Threaten to fire them,
2 for: Poke them with sticks,
or 3 for: Offer the one who catches her a free trip anywhere in North America.
(applause)
Hmm... Ah! That's a tough choice. I'm gonna go with 3. (he dials 3 again)
Thank you. Inform the Gumshoes. 3rd question: How should I terminate our discussion?
Dial 1 for: Tell you you're a great guy,
2 for: Offer you a raise and a big office,
or 3 for: Set you up with my gorgeous cousin, Gladys.
Ooh! Uh, I'm gonna go, uh, 3-amundo! (he dials 3 again)
I thought you'd choose that one. Greg, go away. (disappointed, Greg hangs up)
You know, I don't need her. I'll dial Information. I'll get Gladys' number myself. That's no problem. (he dials Information and picks up the receiver)
NVNasally Voice
(on phone) Hello. Information.
Uh, yeah. Calling for Gladys.
The Chief's gorgeous cousin.
VVoice
Go away. (the phone clicks, and Greg hangs up and exits the office)
NOTE: This episode contains two Gregs. Greg Lee, the host, and Greg Spatz, the Gumshoe. The lines will be revealed as "Greg" for Greg Lee, and "Greg S." for Greg Spatz.
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's throng of thorny thugs has speed again. This time, the wrangled a raveled road in San Francisco. The Guinness Book of World Records says that San Francisco's Lombard Street is the crookedest street in the world. The Lombard Street S-curves were built on San Francisco's Russian Hills in the 1920s. Back then, the switchbacks allowed cars and horse-drawn carriages to safely get down the treacherous slope. These days, Lombard's a big tourist attraction and the view from the top is quite a thrill. But now, this crooked street has been crooked. Vic the Slick, driving a souped up street sweeper, swept it up and swiped it. Your mission, gumshoes: outtrick Vic, return Lombard Street to San Francisco, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.
(hears pounding coming from the alley) Wait a minute, something's goin' on in here. Let's, uh, go find out what it is. I'm not sure exactly. (enters the alley) Hey!
WHAT'S THE WORD ON THE STREET!?!?!
(stops pounding) Hey, man, you don't hafta yell. Greg, the Word on the Street is "industria". That means "industry" in Spanish. Now, industry's growin' really fast in Mexico, and Vic's in a city where about a quarter of all of Mexico's factories are located and they get their power through big natural gas pipeline that runs into the city from nearby Texas. (he and the rest of Rockapella resume pounding)
I just, uh-- I just wanted to say thank you,... because courtesy still counts around here, Mister.
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her troop of troublesome tricksters have tried it again. This time, they crashed the Caribbean. Throughout most of the Caribbean and South America, the ancient tradition of Carnival is alive and well. The practice goes back to early days of Christianity. Just before the solemn season of Lent, everyone gets together and has one last big party. One of the best places to see the celebration of color, costume, and calypso is in Trinidad and Tobago. The people of this island nation take their fun seriously. Plans for next year's bash start almost as soon as this year's rebels have finished and all that planning and perspiration pays off in a two-day panoramic display of joy, imagination, and artistry. Or it did until Double Trouble, those pernicious party pouncers, dove into the festival and drove off with it. Gumshoes, your mission is to do in those double negatives, cruise the Carnival back to Trinidad and Tobago, and then catch Carmen Sandiego.
Dance all night and eat all day. Say no more, we're on our way!
Zip that infernal chatter!
Mrs. Pumpkinclanger obviously has a bee in her bonnet. Gotta go talk to her again. Sorry, are we buggin' you again, Ms. P?
Again?! Try "constantly"! Those terrible twins are in a festival for the birthday of the monkey god. On a small island of the tip of the Melee Peninsula. It's quite a scene. Chinese mystics who claim to be possessed by the monkey god filling good trans and pills there tongues and teeth would spill. It's all good clean fun and everyone enjoys themselves. Now, go apprehend that dreadful duo, and leave me in peace! Please!
Okay. Often wonder what Mr. Pumpkinclanger's life must be like. Haven't you?
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's gang of goons have glommed again. This time, it happened in our nation's capital, Washington, D.C. The Supreme Court is the highest level of the judicial branch of government for the United States. It has final say in matters of constitutional law. The court includes a Chief Justice and eight Associate Justices. They're appointed by the president, confirmed by the Senate, and served until they decide to retire. Now since they don't run for office, they can make decisions without worrying about what voters might think. But yesterday, in an attempt to impress her social studies teacher, Patty Larceny swiped the court, Justices and all. This brazen bib for brownie points must not go unpunished. Your mission: put Patty in the pin, save the Supremes, and then catch Carmen Sandiego.
It's now time for our second clue. So, listen very closely. This one comes in now-- We turn to a gal who is presently choreographing Madonna's next world tour. Nana Rap, whatcha got for us?
Word to the gumshoes, Gregmeister. Let's rock the house! (rock music plays)
Alex Haley was the man, listen to what I say.
Trace an ancestor here named Corsican face.
Check out a map. A nation side a nation.
'Cause with Senegal, it forms a confederation.
They got beautiful beaches. Tourists soak up the rays.
And if you like wrestling, it's a national craze.
So, west African coast is where you'll pick up the trail.
Now, go bust Patty. Lock her up in jail!
You got the Nana! Nana-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Nana-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Nana. Ooh...
Nana Rap, ladies and gentlemen!
Convene that court and move out fast. Head for a nation where King Hammurabi once ruled.
Sure, Carmen. That was part of ancient Mesopotamia. It's where they created writing, and... and the wheel, and the 60-minute hour, and...
And unfortunately for us, Patty, they created one of the first systems of law. Its main principle was the strong shall not injure the weak. Ha! Can you imagine?
Gee, Carmen, how did you ever learn so much about the law?
I make it a point to know my enemies.
Scott (sings to the tune of The Supremes' "Stop! In the Name of Love" as the Supreme Court is revealed in the 2nd round): Stop! In the name of law!
NOTE: Tahare Campbell was eliminated from that episode, but only due to a geographical error, he returned in the Season 3 episode The Glacier Erasure
Rat, that Yeti is drawing too much attention. Head for the Atlantic Coast of the United States. Hide out in Grover's Mill, a small town east of Princeton.
Aw, don't send me to the states, Carmen.
You'll like it. The place is famous for a big media hoax. It happened on Halloween Eve in 1938. People were listening to their radios when they heard a report that space creatures were invading near Grover's Mill.
Gee, I didn't know Kneemoi hung out in the Garden State.
It wasn't Kneemoi. It was a radio drama, but lots of people thought it was true and panicked.
Geez, if I could get that kind of attention, just think. Newspapers, magazines, CNN--
FBI, criminal court, jail.
Yeah. Yeah. I'll stay outta sight.
Tahare, we're gonna start with you. You have 75 crime bucks. How much did you risk?
TTahare
(reveals his wager) I risked 50.
50 crime bucks. What'd ya say?
TTahare
(reveals his answer) I said the Aegean Sea.
Sorry. It is not the Aegean Sea.
(sings to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon") Puff the Magic Yeti!
The is Lynne Thigpen speaking for "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" and remember, stealing never grants your wishes. You end up washing jailhouse dishes. (Due to a factual error in this game, Tahare Campbell has been invited to play a new game in our next season.)
