A character in Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?
Fjord!
FJORD!
Viking!
VIKING!
"Viking".
Scandanavia!
SCANDANAVIA!
"Scandanavia". Thanks, guys.
Hey, guys. What's the Word on the Street?
The word is "49,000".
Hey! That's not a word. That's a number!
There's a 49,000-year-old meteor crater near the city of Flagstaff, and it's in the 49th state, Greg.
Hey! No, it's not. It's in the 48th!
Guys, guys, guys.
Sorry, Greg.
It's okay. (exits)
Bye.
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's ring of ruthless racketeers have struck again. This time, they struck in Southern California. The Colorado River Aqueduct is a man-made waterway. It runs from the Colorado River's Parker Dam on the Arizona border to Los Angeles, California, 235 miles away. It's a cheap source of water for 14 and a half million people in the Los Angeles area. If it weren't for aqueducts, the endless suburbs of L.A. would still be once were: a part desert. But now, these wanted waters roar no more. Vic the Slick, Carmen's showcase of bad taste, has corralled its currents. Armed with an atomic Shop-Vac, he sucked up the water and took it away. Your mission, gumshoes: cut Vic to the quick, return the river to its rightful bed, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.
Vic, ACME's after you. Hide the river in a sea where you'll find the Greek Archipelago. It was home to Europe's first known great civilization.
Hey, Carmen, what makes 'em so great?
The Minoan culture on Crete goes back about 5,000 years. At a time when most Europeans were still living in the Stone Age, the Minoans were master artists and builders who used a decimal number system and created a form of writing.
Eh, that's pretty good, but no culture is truly great without polyester.
You're hopeless, Vic. Just get moving.
Ladies and gentlemen, Elliott has left the building.
Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's ring of rabble-rousing rapscallions has struck again. This time, they burgled bones from the National Museum of Ethiopia in Addis Ababa. In 1974, paleoanthropologists digging in Ethiopia uncovered uncovered the oldest and most complete skeleton of an early human. It was a female about three and a half feet tall and 25 years old if you don't count the 3 million years she's been dead. Her discoverer has called her Lucy because they we're listening to the Beatles song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" when they found her. But now, Lucy's skeleton hangs in Top Grunge's closet. That skid marked scallywag cycled onto the site, disguised Lucy as a biker, then drove her away. Your mission, gumshoes: fracture Top Grunge's evil plans, bring back Lucy's bones, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.
(Rockapella parodies the "I Love Lucy" theme song)
Tres! Cuatro!
Grunge loves Lucy, and there they went.
Dinosaur National Monument.
That's where the creep took the skelly-ton.
He's such a VILE, nasty smelly-ton.
He wants to take her to ski at Vale.
Toss that big, wheezing crook in jail.
Check Pueblo out for the Grunge path!
And please...
Oh, won't you please?
Oh, won't you give...
Oh, won't you please give ol' Lucy a great, big, beautiful sponge...
BATH!!!
Rockapella, ladies and gentlemen, if you will, please!
Hello?
Hello. Greg, Dennis Miller. Look, I've got a little message for you and your puttyboots, pal.
They're Gumshoes.
I don't care if their horseshoes, cha-cha. Okay? Listen. There's a pan-global kleptomaniac in a slouch hat running around out there, and it's time you did something about it. I know trilobytes who are closer to... catching Carmen Sandiego than you. You're lurals are creasing, Greggo. It's time to stop resting on them, pal. (hangs up)
Nice guy. Dennis Miller, my good buddy. (hangs up the phone)
And this is Patty Larceny, that terrible teenager from Carmen's court of creeps.
(singing) P-P-P-Patty
Her last known whereabouts: Chincoteague Island, Virginia. Chincoteague Island's fame come from a herd of wild ponies. Most of the year, the ponies live across the channel on nearby Assateague Island, but every July, ponies from Assateague wild herds are rounded up, driven across the channel to Chincoteague, and sold at auction. The ones that aren't sold swim back to Assateague the next day. This tradition dates back more than 65 years. Until today, that is when Patty Larceny crashed the auction with her Pony Patty Wagon and filched every foal and filly. Gumshoes, you got to ride to the rescue, pinch Patty, corral Carmen Sandiego, and put an end to...
(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
...THE PATTY PONY PINCH!
A horse is a horse, of course, of course!
(Patty tells Gabriel to go to North America)
What did she say?
I don't know. I couldn't hear her.
Well, I have a pretty good idea we're going to North America. NORTH AMERICA! CHIEF!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? · 274 quotes