Andre quotes from Victorious

Robbie

Sikowitz, Cat has Bibble!

Sikowitz

Cat!

Cat

No, it's not mine, I'm holding it for a friend! (Sikowitz takes the Bibble away) But I need it...I mean, my friend needs it!

Andre

Cat, here.

Cat

What's this?

Andre

It's a special gum. If you crave Bibble, just chew some of that, it'll make you feel better. You just unwrap it and chew it–

Cat

I know how gum works!

Cat

(shoving gum in her mouth) Yeah, Tori has a big problem.

Andre

Cat, maybe you want to back off on that Bibble gum -

Cat

Don't tell me what to do!

Andre

(enters the room as he closes the door behind him) Hey, I'm here. Sorry.

Tori

Where were you?

Andre

While I was in the mens' room, I opened one of the stalls, and sitting right there, Bruno Mars. (Cat gasps)

Tori

(looking shocked) What?!

Andre

So I'm like, "Oh my God, Bruno Mars! You're one of my idols." He says, "Thanks. But I'm on the toilet. Can you shut the door?" So I say, "Sure", and I shut the door. And Bruno Mars says, "I mean, can you leave the stall and then shut the door?" And then I'm all like, "Bro, I know you famous, but can't you just -"

Jade

(putting her hand on his shoulder) Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Maybe stop talking.

Andre

Those beams. Those laser beams! It's like a cage! A cage! Aaaah, I can't take it!!! Aaah, can't take it, aaah, can't take it! Can't take it!!!

Jade

(deadpan, to Andre) Hey, just checkin'. Can you take it?

Andre

No! Man, how long have we been sittin' here like this?

Beck

12 minutes.

Andre

I can't handle being trapped like this. We're like animals!

Cat

Oooh, can I be a hippapotamoose?

Beck

What?

Cat

It's French. For hippopotamus.

Trina

I gotta wazz.

Jade

So wazz!

Trina

Wazz where?

Jade

Just grab a bin.

Trina

Oh, ho, ho, Trina Vega does not wazz in bins.

Tori

At that movie you wazzed in a popcorn bucket.

Trina

A bucket is not a bin.

Andre

Cat, no!

Tori

What are you doing?

Cat

I wanted to lick the laser beam with my tongue.

Tori

Why?

Cat

(sighs) Well...

Tori

You wanna know what flavor it is, don't you?

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Andre

Yo, yo, yo! Hold up! You boys want to fight Robbie, you gotta fight me, too.

Robbie

Uh, would it be ok if they fought just you, cause -

Hey, idiots!

Robbie

Yes?

Andre

S'up?

My boy here don't wanna fight Shapiro.

Andre

Then how come we're not all back in there eating sushi?

Cause we're about to have ourselves a Hamboneoff!

Andre

C'mon, Rob, let's go back inside.

Robbie

No.

Cat

Robbie, come on.

Jade

Yeah, we'll get you some ice for your, uh...injuries.

Robbie

No! Just leave me here on the dirty ground where I belong.

Jade

(shrugs) K. (walks off)

Robbie

Oh, my gosh!

Andre

What about your gosh?

Andre

I'm so hungry.

Robbie

I have to tinkle.

Andre

How long have we been here like this?

Robbie

About 9 hours.

Andre

Man, I can't believe we did this to ourselves. Just to get a stupid Pear Pad 3.

Robbie

Well, it does have a slightly better screen.

Andre

Robbie?

Robbie

Yeah?

Andre

If you say that 1 more time, I'm gonna grab your head and pull it right off your body.

Robbie

(Teasingly and Sing-songly) Slightly better screen! (Andre tries to grab Robbie's arm but the latter hides it in his pear costume and continues to tease Andre) Slightly better screen! Slightly better screen!

Robbie

You realize we'll probably die up here? Hungry...thirsty...alone on our backs...dressed like fruits. But, at least I'm gonna die with my good friend. (takes Andre's hand) You.

Andre

We're not gonna die like this, Rob.

Robbie

We're not?

Andre

Nope. We're gonna live. We have to live.

Robbie

Why?

Andre

So we can get out of here. And I can hurt you. (Robbie pulls his hand away) With my own bare hands. (Robbie pulls his head and hands in his costume) Or maybe a baseball bat. Yeah, a bat. I like that.

Andre

I don't even miss our phones. You, guys?

Robbie

No.

Tori

Uh huh.

Beck

No.

Tori

How long it has been since we had them?

Jade

Few hours.

Cat

It seems like years!

Robbie

No, it's not that bad.

Cat

Years!

Tori

What happened?

Andre

Aw, man.

Robbie

What happened to you?

Beck

Jessica Baxter. She texted me about a hundred times last night and I didn't text her back!

Tori

Well, did you explain to her that you can't use your phone?

Beck

Yeah. Right after she threw this egg at me and scratched my face!

Beck

There's my girl, just blendin' in with the crowd.

Jade

I wanna know who that flour bomber is.

Andre

Ah, so you wore that to get his attention.

Jade

Yep, and when he tries to get me, I'm gonna grab him and wrestle him to the ground.

Beck

He might like that.

Andre

I'd like that. (Jade and Beck glare at him) I wouldn't like it.

Andre

Oh and your mom's pot pie.

Tori

What?

Andre

I've had better!

A-salt! [salt pours all over Jade] And battery!

Andre

[as batteries fall on him] Ahhhh! Ahhh! Ahhh! What was that?!

That was a load of batteries.

Andre

I know what they were! Why'd you drop them on me? She got the answer wrong!

Good point. More batteries!

Jade

What are you--? [screams as batteries]

Robbie

Okay, that- that's bonder-line dangerous!

Beck

Yeah, why don't you just drop a car battery on her head?!

Car battery! [a car battery hits Jade on the head]

Jade

OW!