Robbie quotes from Victorious

No! There were supposed to be two packages!

MMailman

I only got one.

It was supposed to get here on-- [notices someone is shooting her] Hey, why are you shooting this?! Who are you with?

RRecorder

Robarazzi.

[frustrated] Ugh! [drops the package on the floor and walks off. Then it goes to the people in Robbie's office, where he is writing "Cat: Sky Store" on his board]

Robbie

Girl's got a problem.

RRobarazzis

No doubt.

Robbie

And uh, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that's PROBABLY NOT her natural hair color.

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Oh, and uh, don't eat the snow unless you wanna bleed internally. [pats him on the back]

Robbie

Okay... [she walks off] She's so cute...

Girl like that wants a man, not a boy.

Robbie

I'll get there!

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Robbie

Unbelievable! You guys have no idea how upset I am about...it snowed? In Los Angeles?!

I told you Global Warming was bogus!

Robbie

Stop watching Fox News!

No! It's fair and balanced.

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[feels Jade’s arm] You're not sweaty?

Sweating is gross, so I don't do it.

Everyone sweats.

BABeck and Andre

Not Jade.

Robbie

Jade never sweats.

So what are you? Like, cold blooded?

Jade? Cold blooded? What a surprise.

BABeck and Andre

[laugh]

[grabs a tube of sunscreen and squirts Rex in the face]

Ah! That witch got sunscreen in my eyes. Help me Rob.

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Is it true that sweat and pee are, like, "cousins"?

André

...What now?

Robbie

It's up to 106 in The Valley.

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Hey...hey, Sinjin. He's face down in the kiddie pool.

...Yep.

André

(checks his phone) It's cool; he's still got two minutes left. (Tori and Robbie hurry over to the kiddie pool)

(turns Sinjinn over) Are you okay? (he gargles)

Robbie

Maybe you should give him mouth to mouth? (Sinjin gargles again)

...Nah, he's alright. (she flees)

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(Tori and the gang are preparing their beach stuff)

Alright. It's starting to get hot in here.

Yeah. Let's go.

Robbie

Let's hit that beach!

This way, people. (Beck pushes the door, but it won't open)

What's wrong?

I don't know. The door won't open. (Beck pushes the door again, but it won't open. The scene cuts outside. It turns out that another giant RV is parked right next to theirs.)

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(while trapped) Where is Cat?

Robbie

She's been gone for over 20 minutes.

The girl only weighs 90 pounds. How much pee can she hold?

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(Beck is still trying to push the door)

Just open it!

Something's blocking the door. (Tori looks through the window)

Oh, man. Some idiot parked a huge RV right next to us.

Whatever. Let's just go out the back door.

There is no back door.

Well, that's stupid.

I'm getting very hot now.

Robbie

Would somebody open the window?

The windows are bulletproof. They don't open.

Oh, thanks a lot, Fat Biscuit.

What?

I meant the rapper from whom Beck's daddy purchased this vehicle.

I'm getting hotter.

Just push on the door.

I can't push a 7000-pound RV out of the way.

Then push harder! (they start to argue)

All right! Let's not bug out. (the argument stops)

Dude, no one knows we're trapped in this toaster oven.

Cat just went to the bathroom. She's gonna be back in a few minutes, then she can start becks truck and then pull us forward so we can get out.

Good point.

Okay. (they sit on the sofa to wait for Cat)

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(the gang start to use Tori's very small fan)

At least it oscillates.

Um. I'm still not happy.

I'm so hot.

Robbie

Where could Cat be?

I hope she's okay.

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(the gang are still using Tori's little fan)

(the fan starts to slow down) Uh oh. Uh oh.

It's slowing down. (the fan stops and everyone groans)

Robbie

NOOOO!!!!!! (Robbie grabs the fan) Come on, fan. Work.

Robbie.

Robbie

Work!

Robbie.

Robbie

Spin!

Stop.

Robbie

No, we gotta make it work.

Robbie. Robbie. Stop it.

Robbie

No, I need it! I need it!

The batteries are dead. Robbie, stop.

Robbie

Oscillate! Spin!

(shakes Robbie) IT'S OVER! (Robbie gets up, yelling indistinctly and then buries his head in the pillow while screaming)

I'm feeling extremely hot now.

We got to get out of this stupid RV. (Beck looks at her) Yeah, offense.

We, at least, have to find something to drink.

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(sweating) Okay. Okay. Something's dripping on me. Something's dripping on me.

(goes to Jade) Not-not-nothing's dripping.

Yes. Look on my arm. See? (holds her forehead) And on my forehead. What's going on? What's happening?!

You're sweating.

No! No, I'm not. I don't sweat. I'm not sweating.

Okay.

No! (Beck holds her arms)

Look at me!

No!

Look at me!

WHAT?

You're sweating. (Jade squeals and falls on the floor)

We've gotta get outta here.

Yeah. Thank you, Catherine Obvious.

What?

I said thank you, Catherine Obvious.

Robbie

(still crying) Did she say "Catherine" Obvious?

It's Captain Obvious.

What?

The expression is "Thank You, Captain Obvious".

It's not Catherine?

No.

Who would Catherine be?

Catherine could be a captain.

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Robbie

[annoyed] These fish mock me.

How dare they swim around, enjoying that filthy water.

Robbie

I'm gonna drink that filthy water. [the others try to talk him out of it] What choice do I have?!

It's his call.

[Robbie dips his head into the fish tank and gulps some water. After a few seconds, he takes his glasses out of the fish tank.]

Well?

[Robbie grabs Trina's bag and vomits in it, as she pokes at him.]

That's my bag.

Robbie

[after he is done vomiting] ...Don't drink the fish water. [throws bag at Trina]

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Robbie

Well, can we at least turn on the air conditioning?

The AC doesn't work unless the truck is running.

Then go start the truck.

I can't get out.

Ohhhhh, why did you invite me here?

We didn't.

Robbie

You invited yourself.

No one likes you!

I'm feeling very hot now.

Robbie

(looks at the thermometer) Guys, It's 102° in here. (everyone groans)

I need a cold drink.

(stands up) Me too.

Where are they?

In the truck.

What are we gonna do?

CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! [everybody joins Tori] CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT!

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Fifty bucks.

Robbie

Seems expensive.

You want gross, crunchy feet? 'Cause girls don't dig that! (he reluctantly gives her the money)