Veronica Mars · Season 2
"Freedom. That's what it's all about, but talking about it and being it - that's two different things."
Whew. You came up all deliberate-like. I figured you wanted to be first in line to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins dance, not recite my prize-winning essay.
Neither, actually. I'm quoting Easy Rider, which you may remember making me watch last summer?
That's funny, that sounds a lot like my essay.
I need your help.
Ah, if I had fifty bucks every time someone said that.
Look, I know it's a drag being you, and...
No, seriously. I'm gonna need fifty bucks if you expect me to keep listening.
Well, I'm banking on curiosity getting the better of you..
[Veronica hesitates a long time, then stamps her foot.]
Alright tell me! Damn my curiosity!
So this is staking out, huh? It looks sexier in the movies.
Did you hear anything from Hannah?
Does deafening silence count?
You know, I'm not sure, but I think when they start shipping your girlfriends off, you are officially a bad boy. [they high-five each other]
Her dad and your dad should get together and go bowling.
This serves as a preemptive apology for the conversation that's about to take place. Okay, and... Beaver and I occasionally, you know, make out.
I made out once, back in the day. I think he had me pinned up against a woolly mammoth.
So, not that I'm an expert in this stuff, but four months, typical high school boy - there should be some... under-the-bra action, no?
Let me consult my 'Idiot's Guide to Wanton Behavior': basically, you're asking me because I'm the sluttiest person you know?
Um, "slutty" is your word choice. Mine was "worldly."
So four months and nada?
Hand holding, kissing.
Tongue?
Some tongue.
Ass grabbing?
Helped me brush the dog hair off my pants once.
Still picking winners, huh, Veronica?
I told you, when I start picking losers, it's all you.
You know, an 09er could come in here with tea leaves and a Ouija board and they'd send out a SWAT team. It's time for plan B.
Not just yet, Dirty Harry.
In case you haven't noticed, I ain't no mick cop.
Uh, okay. Dirty Sanchez?
Did you watch House of Wax again? You know that Hilton girl gives you nightmares.
[Veronica walks up behind Logan and knees him in the back of his leg.]
Yep, I have no idea what compelled me to do that.
Is it because you're five?
I'm a little punchy. I haven't been sleeping.
Thoughts of me? Hey, I get it. Sometimes I'm up all night, just thinkin' about myself.
Remind me: why did we break up?
Well, you thought the other guy had greener grass. Or was it something about me being too much man? No, wait. It was you - you were too much man.
Mr. Wu must really like his egg-drop soup.
Uh, does this assignment come with [Chinese accent] pot stickah?
Students! This experiment is a major test grade. For some of you, [looking at Dick] it means passing this class or not.
[to Logan] Dude, is Mr. Wu hitting on me?
Okay, people, that does it. I'm assigning your partners alphabetically. Dick, I think it's a bad idea for you and Mr. Echolls to be working together.
So bad, it's good?
No.
[to Logan] God, I don't know how I'm gonna quit you. Shh! It's not me, it's Wu.
My coat?
Right. It's in the closet.
[opens the door and sees Veronica hiding inside] Yup. That's mine, all right.
Peter was gearing up for what he called the "outing of all outings." I was wondering if he was pulling his favorite teacher out of the closet.
[sighs] Veronica, I think when you get out in the world a little more, you'll discover that not all well-dressed, articulate, detail-oriented men are gay. Many of them are just... Asian.
Mac Attack, what's the haps?
I got mugged. By my own principal. They took my cell-phone interceptor and apparently plan on keeping it until the end of the year. What happened to "end of the day"? Why wasn't that working?
Everyone still kept bringing in their cell-phone interceptors?
Is there any chance you can get it back for me? I borrowed it from a buddy at Radio Shack because, apparently, I've become a psycho ex-girlfriend and I wanted to listen to Beaver's cell phone calls. [Veronica is silent] You're judging me.
Nope. I'm judging myself. Why don't I have a cell phone interceptor?
Please, respect the business model, Veronica. I do the gadgets. You do the actual espionage.
[Veronica knocks three times, each punctuated by a brief silence.]
That was your secret knock?
The genius is its simplicity.
We have exactly eleven minutes before my dad gets back. The box is under there.
Wow, Butters, this is - this is way cool of you.
Just so you know, I'm an excellent dancer, so, don't worry about that.
[confused] Oh... okay. I'll try not to...
Well, I don't have to dance, though. I enjoy it, but I also enjoy a good conversation.
Look! Fake vomit - courtesy of locker 213. And whoever is in locker 792 is sans one "Smell it, Bitch" T-shirt.
So, Mac, what color dress are you wearing?
I'm actually wearing pants.
[laughs] I just don't want the corsage to be, like, blue, and your dress is red and you think I'm an idiot.
Veronica?
[holds up a book with a tag attached that reads '#333'] Do you mind if I give this Anarchist Cookbook back to Weevil?
You know his locker number?
Who else would brag about meeting Satan halfway?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Veronica Mars pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
