Veronica Mars quotes

Veronica

Dick, why are you here?

Dick

You saw that article about the Pi Sig house, right? That girl Claire gets raped after one of our parties, and suddenly, school's all in a bunch. There's like this hearing scheduled to try to get us kicked off campus, and that's where you come in.

Veronica

I get to do the kickin'?

Dick

You get to be the spy who loves me. The guys were really impressed with how you cleared the frat of the rape last year.

Veronica

Were they? That means so little.

Dick

They knew we had, like, this connection. So, they sent me here to hire you. We need you to do your Veronica thing and prove it's a pack of lies.

Veronica

Is it? A pack of lies?

Dick

We're a frat. Why rape the cow when you're swimming in free milk?

Veronica

[voiceover] When entering a frat house full of accused rapists, the pant suit is a solid wardrobe choice. It's fashion's way of saying, "Move along. Nothing to see here."

Veronica

Hello, Chip... Dick... faceless Star Trek crew members...

Veronica

In my world, the wicked don't get parting gifts.

Weevil

Any big Halloween plans?

Veronica

Oh, you know, the usual: slapping on my sexy nurse duds and rolling tweeners for their chocolate.

Lamb

Well, well, what do we have here? An illegal gambling establishment. Underaged drinking. [sees Logan and Veronica hugging] Public displays of affection. [shivers] It's like Sodom and Gomorrah in here.

Veronica

Where's Lilly's necklace?

Weevil

Someone left a bracelet in my bed last week. Or wait, was it a hoop earring...

Veronica

I'm not playing with you.

Weevil

Don't you get it? I have no idea what you're talking about.

Veronica

Oh, you don't, huh? Let me spell it out: I tell you about a working on-campus casino. Six hours later, it's held up by a guy, your size, wearing a mask, who happens to be covered in a thin film of drywall dust and the stench of Drakkar cologne.

Weevil

My cologne stinks? So, all this play I've been getting is from pure sex appeal?

Veronica

You just told my classmates that your old life of crime was calling. You just asked me about Lilly's necklace.

Weevil

I can't believe you'd think I'd do that - to you - after all we've been through.

Veronica

After all we've been through, can you really blame me?

Lamb

[to Logan] Hey, good-looking, we'll be back to pick you up later!

Veronica

[voice over] Hello, square one, nice to see you again.

Veronica

Did you just make a Jane Austen reference? It's official, the end of days are upon us.

Veronica

[knocks] Wallace?

Wallace

Not here.

Veronica

And you would be?

Wallace

Evil Wallace. And I know Veronica Mars doesn't hang with the evil and morally bankrupt.

You think it's me? You think I'm trying to get you out of Landry's class because I don't like you?

Veronica

Wait, you don't like me?

Logan

It's Mercer. Lamb just arrested him for the rapes on campus. He didn't do it. You have to help.

Veronica

How do you know he didn't do it?

Logan

Cause I was with him the night of the rape this summer.

Veronica

Where? Doing what?

Logan

I can't tell you OK? But you have to trust me. He's innocent.

Veronica

You're going on a date with a married woman.

Keith

It's not a date. We saw a movie, had a drink, and talked.

Veronica

Which is a date.

Veronica

[voiceover] The man who would be my mentor. Mr. Popular. Just another on the list of men who disappoint.