[reading from a website announcing an upcoming drag show] "Mean queens of fashion in New York City's finest drag bar. Double bill featuring Manna Wintour and Wilheldiva Hater"?!
That is so fun— offensive!
I will not be mocked by some low-rent drag queen! It's insulting.
It's delicious. What's that web address?
Uh, yeah, I'll write it down—
Don't even bother. I'll have my lawyers draw up a cease and desist order immediately. As if I didn't have enough queens to shut down right here at Mode. [glances at Marc]
Mandy, why did I just see Helen in the closet reading a four-year-old Marie Claire and wiping Cheeto dust off of her fingers with a vintage Prada shift?!
Marc, I tried to fire her, but I couldn't. And I knew if Willie saw her—
What happens when she asks about a paycheck?
Oh, I give her Meade money. [pulls out fake bills with Daniel's face on them]
Mandy, a fake job and a fake paycheck aren't helping Helen any. And trust me, no good ever came from keeping someone in the closet.
Okay, you just got really deep.
I know, and now I have a headache.
Austin: [to Justin] Hey, what are you doing, I thought we were gonna hang out?
Justin Suarez: You guys go without me.
Austin: Justin, I know you saw us! Come on, she didn't pick me over you or anything. You got to kiss her, and I wanted my shot.
Justin Suarez: You guys seemed pretty into it.
Austin: I guess...
Justin Suarez: You weren't?
Austin: Well it wasn't like you two on stage. That seemed intense.
Justin Suarez: Well... I guess that's because I'm a good actor.
Austin: Really?
Justin Suarez: Yeah. It was better in my head.
Austin: [Austin chuckles] This is messed up, alright? Oh, and by the way, you weren't that good on stage, okay? Cause you were totally blocking me when you kissed her!
[Playfully shoves Justin]
Justin Suarez: You just have to have everyone seeing you all the time.
Austin: Trust me, they were looking at me anyways.
Justin Suarez: [laughing] You are so in love with yourself!
Austin: Wouldn't you be?
[the two freeze for a moment and look at each other. Austin then kisses Justin]
Christina, you know what's really weird? You're, like, a big, fancy designer in London, and I'm a big-shot stylist in New York.
Well, not in the sense that I have any clients, but I do get to combine all of my favorite interests: criticizing people, shopping, and promoting world thinness.
Why is everything with Austin always such a big secret?
BBobby
No secret. Austin's a good kid. They're both good kids. Everything's cool, you know.
Hilda': What's going on? Do you know something?
BBobby
[nervously] No! I don't know anything. What— What would I know?
You do know something! I swear to God, Bobby, you better tell me.
BBobby
No, I can't. I promised I wouldn't say anything. I'm not gonna break that promise.
He's on drugs. Oh, my God! That Austin kid has got my baby hooked on drugs!
Well, then, what is it, Bobby? Because I cannot think of another reason why my son is always spending time with Austin. Oh, suddenly he's sneaking off all the time, or he's up in the room with the door— [pauses as Bobby stares at her] Ohhh.
I don't know how, and I don't know why, but I know you got to Tyler. This has your stink all over it.
Oh, Claire, have you escaped from your handlers again? Or have they allowed you a senior outing?
This boy is an alcoholic. He is troubled.
Isn't that the pickled lush calling the kettle black?
