[Charlie is on all fours on his bed]
Alan, you're a chiropractor. Do something!
Really? You want my help? Even after you referred to my profession as, oh what was it... "urban voodoo"?
[Charlie is on the floor in intense pain]
I need someone who can give me drugs!
I'm not holding, but I can make a couple of calls.
Drugs just mask the problem.
Fine! Mask it, throw a cape on it and let it fight crime!
Berta [to Jake]: After a day scrubbing toilets, I'm betting you'll be able to pee through a Cheerio at ten paces.
Berta [hands Jake a mop and bucket]: Take these and get started on the kitchen floor.
Why? I didn't pee in here! OK, once, but it was in the sink.
The sink? How'd you manage that?
It's not that hard. You just gotta drink a lot of root beer, lean back, and figure the angle.
If two thousand years of-- of human history has taught us anything, it is that there's karmic justice in the world, and that when people live the way you do, bad things have to happen to them to even things out.
Well, I don't agree.
It's not up for debate! It's a... law, like gravity!
Oh, I agree with gravity.
Oh, good. We wouldn't want you flying off the planet with nothing to hump but satellites.
So you think I have a shot with that doctor or what?
It's like trying to talk Shakespeare to a Hershey bar.
DDoctor
Oh, are you a doctor?
Yes, I'm a chiropractor.
DDoctor
So, no.
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