OOSI Agent
Change into these and proceed to the cavity search.
Cavity search my ass!
[Everybody looks at Hunter]
I mean... you know what I mean.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Let’s go Shore Leave, boys night out. You coming?
Boys night out, I wish. You guys are gonna go to that strip club again.
You make that wholesome place sound dirty, you bastard. Are you coming or not?
Hmm, ahh... I’m feeling kind of, kind of gay. Wait... no. No it’s definitely... I’m definitely still gay.
[Brock notices Tigershark staring him down.]
What the fuck are you looking at?
TTigershark
I’m Tigershark. I represent The Peril Partnership.
So what! The Peril Partnership is in like, Canada. How would I even know you?
TTigershark
Toronto! You broke my knees after I found you in bed with my wife.
[Laughs] Yeah, you had a little striped suit on. Hey I’m sorry brush, she told me that you were...
TTigershark
Gonna kill you.
[Tigershark lunges at Brock across the table but stops before he can reach him]
Oh yeah! I'm jealous that I don't get to go to New York dressed as the Jamaican flag to work for no pay.
It's an internship, Hank. They pay you with experience and an impressive resume.
ATThe Alchemist to Dr. Orpheus
Remember when your wife used to screw you without paperwork?
Oh nice language in front of the boy.
You hear alot in my line of work.
Relax, I just wanna talk to you.
I didn't steal those games. They're defective, so they are just being thrown out.
I'm not Mall Security.
So who are you?
He's works with me. He's The Alchemist, seeker of truth.
You're the super-hero guy and you're hanging out with Hank?
Look, pudgy mac-talk-alot, I just got dumped by my lover who then tossed me out on my jobless ass, so I had to move in with my boring team member who lives in the burbs and doesn’t do squat. And I just told you too much, didn’t I?
Ugh dude, no shit.
So you've met Nikki? Nikki Fictel?
And how!
Yeah, she's a looker, that one. Gams straight up to heaven.
Let me ask you a question.
Sure.
It's the...Bewitched question.
Oh, yes. Why didn't Darrin let Samantha just make them magically rich so he wouldn't have to be a workaday whipping boy?
Yeah. Where do you stand on that one?
I can't make you rich, Al.
I don't want that. It's just that...you know how I can tell if people are telling the truth. It's one of my gifts. Hank has this case...
I've noticed you've been...palling around with the young lad.
That kid knows how to have fun, Orpheus. You could learn something from him. Anyway, in this case we got going, everyone is telling the truth, and none of it adds up. I...I kind of wanna help him.
Well, we have these powers. They are a part of us, and we should never be ashamed or afraid to use them for good.
So, you'd...
I would make Darrin filthy rich, turn Mr. Tate into a donkey, tell Endora to get a life, and blind that nosey Mrs. Kravitz!
NNikki
You remind me so much of him.
Ya daffy? Dean's just like my old man. I'm the black sheep of the Venture flock! I'm trouble!
NNikki
No, I mean you're like Rusty from the cartoon. Your dad's a scared little has-been, but you are just like the real Rusty Venture. So cool. So fearless and powerful. But trapped in the body of a young man.
Sounds like you're trying to seduce me. And this old Shamus can smell it when a chippy's pulling a flim-flam. What are you hiding!?
NNikki
Nothing! Well, I guess I'm hiding a huge crush on you.
What do you want me to card her? She said she was twenty!
Guess what? I had sex! Ta daa! What was it like? Okay.. its kinda like naked skydiving into a mountain of warm whip cream! Yes that good!
This is important. Get your ass to Mars!
Hot sandwich! You've murdered the Venture boy!.
BWBrown Widow
Shh, I understand; you can't talk. You need help, just blink twice if he's your pimp.
No, what? No, he's my dad.
ADAlternate Dimension Dr. Venture
Keep to your own dimension from now on.
Fine. I don't even like your dimension, anyway. It's an asshole dimension. How do you like that?
ADAlternate Dimension Dr. Venture
Oh, nice potty mouth in front of the boys! Look, you're the Dean of this dimension, right? Explain to the untalented Mr. Ripley here he can't just waltz into my dimension and try to kill me with a rock and replace me just because I happen to have more hair, more money and a hit play on Broadway!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.