We might not win this one. You get to the panic room!
Okay. Just let me finish peeing on myself...
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Well, isn't this wonderful? My favorite part was when you (Phantom Limb) decided to kill the Venture family. No, wait, it was when your (The Monarch) fake date ran off crying. Come on, Monarch, how old was she? ("Jollyrancher82")
Will you look at me? I'm in a fucking evil butterfly costume! What age group do you think is going to be attracted to me!?
Super. Well, if you gentlemen will excuse me, I'm going to powder my nose or whatever the cliche is.
Hoooo, nice one! Look what you did.
Yeah, I did that.
Strange, you almost can't feel it. No, don't move. The knife is still in you, the blade right between the kidney and the spleen, just a twitch...
GSGuild Stranger
It feels almost...cold...
You tell me your target and I slide the knife out. You might live. Or-
GSGuild Stranger
Blackout. Four and a robot.
Good boy.
GSGuild Stranger
I think you may have got the kidney. I don't want to die alone. (cough) Don't...don't go.
I don't think I hit your kidney...
GSGuild Stranger
No you...no you totally did. (cough) Please... please hold me...
Look, I'm pretty sure I missed the kidney, I mean you could bleed to death in like four hours, but uh...
GSGuild Stranger
I-I see a tunnel. I'm scared. Could you... could you stroke my hair?
All right, look, you are not gonna-
GSGuild Stranger
Then could you sing to me? Could you sing a Technotronic song? Maybe... "Pump Up The Jam"?
I don't know-
GSGuild Stranger
What about "Move This"!? Do you know that one!?!?
(sigh, then starting to sing) Baby, let me...
(Dean tells Hank he has a stain on his pants)
What? Ahh, come on!! Why does that happen? I shook it so hard I almost hit that pink puck.
Well, did you dab?
What?
Dab. Did you dab?
Uhh... no.
I dab.
Well I don't.
You should dab.
Stop saying dab!
(weak from blood loss) If you don't come save me, I'm going to fire you Brock.
(over the radio) You gotta try to hold on, Doc! I'll be back soon!
Brock... You're fired...
(sighing) Steak fries... always soggy.
(Dean attempts to put out the fire on Hank's crotch in the bathroom)
Dude! Stop wailing on my junk! Throw water on it!
No way! That's what started this!
Well, then take it easy! Just dab. Dab it!
2#24
(looking from stall) I can't believe it's hard to kill these two.
2#21
(on the toilet) Don't talk to me. If I push any harder, I'm gonna pop a gasket.
Blackout Target Victor Echo November Seven Niner is in Daddy's lap. Repeat, in Daddy's lap. Call off Blackout team. Daddy is going to put the boys to bed... himself. (earpiece chatter and sighs) Yes, I'm going to kill them. It's a very simple metaphor.
Copy, Big Daddy. (looks over at Ward who's STILL fiddling with his mp3 player) What... just play something!
WWard
How many Yaz albums do you have on here?
KKim
Can I ask you a question?
(sighs) Yes, I belong in here; I just have a deep voice.
KKim
Okay. Can I ask you another one?
Yeah, sure.
KKim
What color lipstick is that?
"Pink Poodle". It's a MAC color. They give a Guild discount. You're in the Guild. Aren't you?
KKim
I don't know what the Guild means.
Tell me about it. I don't know anymore myself. So, do you work, uh, single, number 2 a man?
KKim
Um, I don't really have a guy.
Well, let me give you my card, I like your look. Yeah, I've had it up to here with men and I think we'd make a nice team. Call me.
KKim
Did you see that? That woman just totally hit on me.
She wasn't hitting on you. Read the card.
KKim
Oh my god! I knew it. She's a supervillian, that is so cool! She thought I was a bad guy, I am so gonna to do this.
(Brock jumps through the bathroom window)
Naked!
(Brock sneaks up behind #24 and #21 in the bathroom stall and puts a knife to Number 24's throat)
2#21
Holy crap!
2#24
Whatever it is we didn't do it!
I believe you. Stay here, don't do anything, you understand?
2#24
Yes sir, yes I understand sir.
2#21
Well on the upside, finally dropped one.
2#24
Yeah, me too.
(Brock appears in the next bathroom stall and puts a knife to The Monarch's throat)
Hello, Brock. (clears throat) I was wondering when you would show up. I had nothing to do with this. Phantom Nimrod was showing off in front of my girlfriend, I told him.
Alright, stay out of this one.
No duh. He's in the next stall. Hey, how's that dickweed boss of yours?
Don't push it!
Mmmm... nice ass, Samson.
(After a dramatic pause, Brock and Phantom Limb shake hands)
Ha ha ha, for a minute there I thought you were gonna do your killer hand thing.
So did I.
KKim
I'm gonna be a supervillain.
Yeah, I'm gonna be Batman!
VBVenture Bros.
Go Team Venture! (They do hand signal in the air)
Dude, I warned you.
KKim
I think I just found my first archenemies.
(about Billy's hand) How'd that happen anyway?
That's an excellent question. I have no idea.
Master Billy Quizboy [After re-attaching Dr. Venture's arm]: Oh yeah, it's a musical. you never get to see anything! Well, you're good as new, Dr. Venture. Don't lift anything for a while or your arm might fall off.
Really?
No, I'm joking. But seriously, don't lift anything for a while... because your arm could fall off.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.