The Venture Bros. · Season 1
You did this. You did this, didn't you? (he attempts to charge Ünderbheit, nearly strangling Venture)
(sarcastically) As usual, your detective skills are impeccable, Samson. You succeeded in exposing my sinister plan to lock myself in a dungeon, chained to an albino.
(grabbing Action Man's hands and concentrating for a moment) Two years, seventeen days.
What?
From a stroke. GOOD DAY!
Despite his racial handicap, Kano here is a crackerjack pilot. Why, he could land her on a puffin... or a smurf!!
Oh for Pete's -- for my sake!
(Action Man farts)
(after a brief pause) Dude, you beefed.
Oh, come on! You're gonna kill me because I had fake sex on graph paper with a girl who barely spoke to you in real life?
(the group looks at Sorayama's corpse)
Huh. So he really did die.
So what, he programmed his robots to hate us too?
(shrugs) I guess.
Well, that makes about as much sense as anything else today. So what do you say we get out of here before he starts to stink?
(in flashback, packing up his belongings and talking to a sullenly quiet Thaddeus Venture) Sorry, man, I don't know what came over me. Anyway, they cut my scholarship, so I'm outta here. Gonna join the army. (he pauses in the doorway, causing Venture to cower abjectly) Oh, yeah. Someone from, uhhh... "Venture Industries" called while you were at the infirmary. Your dad died. Later.
The Monarch is finally on trial, though it may be for a crime that he didn't actually commit.
Oooooh! My arm came off! I can't believe that happened!
While you were wasting your time castrating a priceless antique, I was systematically feeding babies.... to hungry mutated puppies!
Sovereign, many of our operatives are in place. We await your orders.
Good, Good... Let us proceed to stage five.
It shall be done.
(turning to Ward) Great, way to make me look like a tool! What are you doing back there?
Have you seen my juice-box?
Oh, that was yours? I thought that--
Great. Thanks. Why did I even bother putting my initials on it?
Saliva is nature's glue.
And raisins are nature's candy!
Do not be too hasty entering that room. I had TACO BELL FOR LUNCH!! Expert witness, Dr. Byron Orpheus has arrived.
(examining the bathroom door from which Orpheus emerged) The hair's gone! A clue!
It was Dr. O the whole time. I wonder what that means?
It means Dr. Orpheus had to take a dump. So... nice job. Case closed.
If I knew you could just call the cops on him, I would have done it years ago! Because I'm no sissy, no sir. I would just pick up that phone and... "Officer, there's a man in a butterfly suit shooting my robot with a laser beam."
The police keep out of the way of the Guild for the most part. Who do you think supplied them with new cruisers last year?
My tax dollars, for one.
Santa Claus, for two.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
