London quotes from The Suite Life on Deck

How's the speech going?

London

Pretty good. Here it goes: "Ladies and..."

Well,you have to admit that it's some of her best work.

[looks at London's speech] She misspelled "ladies".

I know.

London, since when is there a q in "ladies"?

London

It's a silent q! Duh!

London!

London

Wow, you look just like my friend Chelsea! Same stringy hair, same ugly clothes, same bad nose job.

I am Chelsea.

London

Chelsea, you look fabulous!

London

What are you doing here?

Well I wanted to surprise my best friend. And get the real dirt.

London

On who?

On you.

Cody

Good morning, ladies. I'm using the one hour Moseby lets us be on deck for a little yoga.

London

I prefer my yoga with fruit on the bottom.

London

Well, we'll just have to change their answers so they match.

Zack

No kidding. Miss Tutweiller is looking for a six foot guy.

London

Well, that's a deal-breaker. Moseby's only got two feet.

London

Unpack what? She can't afford any luggage.

Bailey

Why don't you guys just flip a coin?

London

Who has a coin?

Maddie

(holding a coin) I do.

Wonderful. Thank you Maddie.

Maddie! (they all greet Maddie)

Maddie

London, so good to see you. And Mr. Moseby, rockin' the knee socks.

And I have a crest.

Maddie

I see. And Cody, no sweater vest?

Cody

Oh Maddie, that was the old Cody. You're looking at the new cool Cody. (hugs Maddie)

Maddie

Ow.

Cody

Oh sorry. That was my astronaut pen.

Maddie

And you must be Bailey, London's roommate. Did she give you any space for your clothes?

Bailey

I just got upgraded from a nail to a hook.

Maddie

Nice.

Zack

Hey sweet thing. How about some sugar?

Maddie

Come here.

Zack

(about to hug her but goes to the pool and throws up in there then comes back to hug Maddie)

Maddie

I think I'll pass.

London

Told you she's poor! She sleeps on a raft!

Bailey

London, they make very comfortable inflatable mattresses these days.

Maddie

They do... But this happens to be a raft.

London

Hey, I have the same sunglasses!

Bailey

These are your sunglasses. [takes off her red wig and sunglasses] It's me, Bailey.

London

Moseby, it's your birthday? Wait, you have a birthday?? Since when???

Pretty much since the day I was born. Hence the term birth-day.

London

Oh, I never put that together. So, how old are you?

Now, age is but a number.

London

I have a feeling I can't count that high.

Well that's just the cherry on top of the birthday cake I didn't get.

London

Awww, who's a sad birthday boy. Don't worry Moseby, I'm going to get you the best present ever. What size pony do you ride?

I don't ride ponies.

London

I know, they can be pretty scary.

London

Happy Birthday Moseby. I hope you love it. I'm sorry I couldn't find any wrapping paper, so I wrapped it in hundred dollar bills.

I love it already.

London

What do you do for a living?

[sarcastic] I'm a ventriloquist!

London

Do you have a dummy?

Oh, yes I do.

London

[taking notes] Favorite song?

[gasps] My heavens!

London

Likes gospel music. Favorite animal?

Zack!

London

A combination of a zebra and a yak.

London

Favorite play?

Go away.

London

Favorite movie?

Go away.

London

Based on the play?

Please go away!

London

Is that the sequel?

[screams]

London

[taking notes] Screams like a girl.

London

Cody, you're smart. I have a question about outer space.

Cody

(pointing upward) It's up there.

Bailey

Mulch.

Mulch?

Bailey

Rotted vegetables and wood chips. (sniffles the mulch) I think I'm gonna cry.

Cody

Does it smell that bad?

Bailey

No, it smells like home. This is the first year I'm missing the Kettlecorn mulch festival.

London

Let me guess: you were Miss Junior Mulch. (laughs)

Bailey

Three years running! This year I would have been a shoo-in for Corn Queen. (crying) I miss home!