I wanna ask Jolie out. Can you translate for me?
I'd rather lick the inside of a city bus.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You never gave up on me when I was learning the alphabet!
But that took 14 years!
And now I know my ABDs.
[sings] Rock-a-bye, chicken, in the tree top. Watch out for the farmer. Your head he will chop. [the children start crying]
Don't you know any lullabies that don't involve decapitating poultry?
JJohnny
Do you like coloring?
I sure do, little one! In the first grade, I won a free ice cream sundae for my work on the "Enchanted Pony Island Coloring Book"!
JJohnny
You're weird.
He's got you pegged.
[Johnny kicks Cody's shin]
Ow! Little boy, don't you know it's not nice to kick people in the shin?
[Johnny steps on Cody's foot]
Ow! Look, Kid, I know Santa, and someone just made the Naughty List!
JJohnny
I'm Jewish!
Hey, look Maddie. I'm recycling. Do you know why? 'Cause I love this planet as much as I love you.
[Maddie rubs hair of Zack]
Good for you.
(to Cody) She wants me.
I am so pleased that you boys care about the environment.
Hey, recycling cans is important, and I love this planet, and I want our children to live in a better place...
Maddie is not here.
[handing Cody a bag of cans] Oh... Then you carry this junk.
Did I ever tell you how pretty you are when you're angry?
Well, I must be gorgeous because I'm furious!
Zack, stuff the chicken with vegetables!
What if she doesn't like them?
She's dead.
Well, then, that'll make it easier!
London, get out there and toss a salad.
At who?
Cody! There's a supermodel checking in! Come on!
I can't. I have a hot duck in the oven.
Well, I have a hot blonde in the lobby. Which is more important?
Cody, you hang out in the hotel kitchen a lot, don't you?
Yes!
Well, don't. I just got a tip that the food critic Bernard Bernaise is coming to the hotel tomorrow. A good review from him will enhance the Tipton's reputation, thus showering me with glory.
Don't you mean showering chef Paolo in glory?
Him, too.
After all, the man's a genius. The things he can do with asparagus... I need a moment...
You need a life!
Is the critic here yet?
Oh, well, there's no way of knowing. According to my secret source, he always checks in under an alias.
You have a secret source?
At the league of extraordinary hotel managers. If only I could find out which guest he is, then I could make sure he gets the perfect dining experience.
So what you are saying is you need someone to spy on all the guests?
Someone sly and crafty.
Someone who's willing to break all the rules to get what he wants.
[They turn towards Zack and Cody]
You know... we don't come cheap!
Garry and Richard are the only waiters who can do table-side service.
London! Get Garry and get Rich.
I'm already rich.
London, lettuce.
Let us what?
My poor Seafood Medley...
It's seafood deadly now!
[talking to Mr. Tipton on cell phone] No, sir, that's Mrs. Delacourt.
DMrs. Delacourt
[talks into phone] Of the Boston Delacourts. We own the larger island next to yours. By the way, your yacht looks a tad ratty!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Suite Life of Zack & Cody pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.