“The Computer Wore Menace Shoes” · Season 12
In this episode: Homer Simpson (3), Chief Wiggum (2), Moe Szyslak (1), Waylon Smithers (1), Seymour Skinner (1), Clancy Wiggum (1), Agnes Skinner (1), Number One (1)
[The Springfield Police Department web page is shown.]
If you have committed a crime and want to confess, click 'Yes'. Otherwise, click 'No'.
[Homer clicks 'No'.]
You have chosen 'No', meaning you have committed a crime but don't want to confess. [van symbol is shown] A paddy wagon is now speeding to your home.
Hey!
While you wait, why not buy a police cap or T-shirt? You have the right to remain fabulous!
Our Mayor's corrupt! Mr. X has down this town a great service, despite his poor grammar and spelling.
[offset] Seymour! Are you looking at naked ladies?
No, mother!
You sissy!
Uh, sir? This place could be bugged.
[getting upset] Oh, nobody's visiting my web page anymore! My counter is actually going down! [A tumbleweed rolls by.]
[After Homer bursts a giant bubble designed to stop him leaving] Why did you think a big balloon would stop him?
Shut up! That's why!
[Cameras go the police getting all of the old stuff and taking Apu into custody.]
In the interest of our public safety, we have confiscated every bagel, donut, cruller, and bearclaw in the city. And some coffee.
Yesterday, Mr. X reported that your own department-- [Cut off by Wiggum]
I know. I know. But, I can assure the police do not take prisoners out of their cells and race them... Anymore.
What about using the electric chair to cook chicken?
All right, this press conference is over!
Well, if Mr. X were here right now. I'd buy him a tall frosty.
Hey, Moe. Can you keep a secret.
No.
Not even a little one?
No!
What if I just whisper it?
No, I tells ya!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
