I always say: a boy can learn more at an airport then he can at any school.
“The Joy of Sect” · Season 9
In this episode: Homer Simpson (7), Glen (3), Marge Simpson (2), Lisa Simpson (2), Reverend Timothy Lovejoy (2), Bart Simpson (1), Mr. Burns (1), Waylon Smithers (1)
I've never heard of these Movementarians. Are they some kind of church?
Who cares what it is? The point is that these are some decent generous people that I can take advantage of.
But what if they try to talk us into something?
Marge, Marge, Marge. Remember when those smooth-talking guys tried to sell me a time-share vacation condo?
You bought four of them! Thank God the check bounced.
So I beat the system.
Watch yourself, Dad. You're the highly suggestible type.
Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.
Homer no function beer well without.
[preaching at church] This so called "new religion" is nothing more than a bunch of weird rituals designed to take away the money of fools. Now, let's say the Lord's prayer 40 times but first let's pass the collection plate.
Your family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years, then something might open up in a double.
Why even unpack?
Wait, I'm confused about the movie ... so the cops knew Internal Affairs was setting them up?
What are you talking about? There's nothing like that in there.
Well, you see when I get bored I make up my own movies. I have a very short attention span.
JJane
But our point is very simple, you see when...
Oh look! A bird! Hee hee hee!
[Homer runs after the bird]
Outsiders have kidnapped some of our property. We must respond with our deadliest weapon.
JJane
[sinister] The lawyers.
It's wonderful to think for ourselves again.
You said it, sister.
TVTV voice-over
You are watching Fox.
HMHomer, Marge, Bart, and Lisa
We are watching Fox.
Smithers, why haven't I heard of this "The Leader"? He's as rich and wicked as I, but he seems to enjoy tax exempt status!
Actually, sir, with our creative book-keeping and corporate loop holes we only pay three dollars a year.
[Shocked] You're right, we're getting screwed! There must be something we can do about this. Yes, I believe I know just the thing [Evil laugh] [Long Pause]
Uh, sir... You've got to tell me what the plan is, or nothing will happen.
Oh, right. The plan. You see me as a God, right, Smithers?
Absolutely, sir!
You'd kneel before me?
Boy, would I!
Yes... uh... Then I'll just form my own religion, with its own special symbol [Burns starts sketching down a symbol.] We'll use this special K! [It's the Kellogg symbol]
I believe that's already a breakfast cereal, sir.
Do people worship it?
In a way...
Alright, then... how about this? [Sketches another symbol, which is Mickey Mouse's ears.]
Ah, why don't you leave the symbol to me, sir?
[Rev. Lovejoy tries to knock out Homer, but fails.]
Oh, the devil's given him superhuman strength.
[Snatches the bat from Reverend.] Gimme that, you noodle-armed choir boy!
[Willie tries to knock out Homer, but fails as well.]
Well that didn't do it, Mr. Kilt.
I've learned that he's not using our money to build a spaceship. [starts opening the barn] He's using our money to [Looks inside and sees a flying saucer] build one hell of a spaceship.
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