The Office (US) · Season 5
You think this is some kind of game? No. This is a war. I will not stop, I will not rest. You have no idea what kind of enemy you've created. You have unleashed the wolf!
Be that as it may, I have your meatball parm sandwich here, and I am going to eat it.
And I knew that you would do that. Their meatball parm is their worst sandwich!
[tasting the sandwich] Ah, bastard!
When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, you don't blame the child; he didn't know any better. You blame the 30-year-old woman who got in the passenger seat and said, "Drive, kid; I trust you."
I have no shortage of company names.
Michael...
That's one of them.
So hey, I wanna set you up with my daughter.
Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
I thought you were gay.
Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
I don't know.
When held over heat, the invisible ink will reveal that everyone should meet at the warehouse immediately. Do not ask me where I got the invisible ink. [pause] Urine. It was urine.
Well, I was in the seminary for a year and dropped out because I wanted to have sex with this girl Cathy. Followed her back to Scranton. Took the first job I could find in HR. Later she divorced me. So, no I wouldn't say I have a passion for HR.
So this morning, we are having breakfast together...and I just looked up from my cereal and I said, "You know what I wanna do today? I wanna marry you."
I had just woken up. I didn't look cute. That's how I knew he meant it.
This remedy has been passed down in my family for generations and it always works. My grandfather was told that Diamond Dancer would never race again. They were wrong. He came in ninth in the Apple Creek Derby. And his jerky came in third the following year. A majestic beast. So fast...so tender.
I lied to Kevin. Holly and I can never be just friends. I wrote down a list of bullet points why Holly and I should be together and I'm going to find the perfect moment today and I'm gonna tell her. [quickly looks at crinkled note and looks back up] Number one: "Holly, you and I are soup snakes." The...and the reason is...because, in terms of the soup we like to eat. That doesn't make any sense. [checks note again] We're soulmates! Holly and I are soulmates.
I didn't find the perfect moment because I think today is about just having today. And I think we're one of those couples who'll have a long story when people ask how we found each other. I will see her every now and then, and maybe one year she'll be with somebody and the next year I'll be with somebody and it's gonna take a long time... And then it's perfect. I'm in no rush.
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