Milo quotes from The Oblongs

Can I be the pres-di-dent?

I think you just answered your own question. How about you, Peggy?

Seriously? I'm so psyched and excited you think I have the self-esteem and charisma!

Helga

[covered in saliva] Whoa! Clean up on aisle seven. She's out!

Well, I guess we should just forgot about it.

Then things will never improve. Time will pass, we will die, our hair and nails will continue to go.

Fine, then, I'll do it. I'll run and I'll win!

Milo, no one is going to vote for a kid who wears a helmet in homeroom.

That's just to protect my soft spot. [Helga pokes Milo's head] Great, now I've lost my motor skills. [collapses on the floor]

Debbie! Where are you? Debbie! [He looks up and sees Debbie on top of a bridge about to commit suicide] Debbie! You can't do this!

Debbie

Oh, yes I can!

Oh, no you can't!

I told you. We all tried.

Debbie

What's the point of living if you can't be beautiful?

Debbie, beauty isn't everything. Was Mother Teresa beautiful? No, but she was loved by people all over the world.

Debbie

Didn't she die right after Princess Diana, but no one noticed because she was ugly?

The meeting will now come to order. I will commence by reading the minutes from last week's meeting followed by Q and A and reports from committees.

Let's light our farts on fire.

Excuse me, but-- [the paper she is holding gets set on fire] That's not in accordance with parliamentary procedure!

I have some new business. The Debbies treat us like dirt. Why don't we elect someone else student council president?

But nobody's ever beat the Debbies.

How do we know unless we try? l mean, you could run, Susie.

No, no. I have a skeleton in my closet. Oh, wait. No, I forgot. I made soup.

Helga, how about you?

Helga

Are you cranked out of your mind? I would never run against my dear bosom friend, Debbie.

Helga, the Debbies hate you.

As the suns energy causes the carbon bond to vibrate, faster, and faster, and faster, and FASTER....

...Professor Jodie?

Shut up!

We need a new name for our club...

I propose we call ourselves the Knights of Backyardia!*

Chip

I've got a better one, how about the Lame-ass Treehouse Club for Babies?

Biff

Hah, hah, I second that. [both high-five]

Helga

[in a flirty voice] I third it.

Chip

[about Helga] Hey, did you guys know there's a giant tree toad in here?

Helga

[to Chip] I love you! [She lunges herself at Chip, who moves out of the way, and she winds up kissing Milo instead, much to her horror] Ugh! I frenched Milo! Bleck!

I have to go to the bathroom!

Chip

In that case, I'm going into a trace. [stares blankly for a moment, and then passes out]

[to Pickles] Mommy, what's a trance?

Pickles

Oh, it's just something your brothers do to give each other privacy.

[to Biff] I really have to go!

Biff

Number one or number two?

A little bit of both!

Biff

[to the others] Good night, folks. [also goes into a trance, and all three collapse on the floor]

[after being crushed beneath the weight of his brothers] This pressure's not helping....

[to Chip after having his nipples squeezed] Hey, why are you squeezing my boobie?

[to Chip] Are you trying to feel me up?

Chip

What?! No! I was feeling Milo up!

You have no idea how wrong that sounds!

Chip

No, wait, I was trying to score with you!

That's it, I'm leaving.

Wait! Chip says you have a beautiful soul.

Oh! That changes everything! [Courtney and Chip are then making out while Milo watches the movie]

Chip

Dude, you look thrashed.

I didn't get any shut eye. Except for this one, which doesn't count 'cause there's something wrong with me.

OK, kids, we're going to be working with some volatile chemicals today. Except for you, Milo, since the school board has rated you a class four maniac.

I was just gonna brew a nice cup of tea. You know, I don't sleep.

Kids, Milo's made a bomb!

There, there, now, it's just my kettle. The old girl does jabber up a storm. Ahh... jasmine.

He's getting awfully fruity. He's got to get some sleep.

Just not before the crumpets are ready.

Now, now, let 'em cool, you wee buggers.